The Life Chronicles of Maurice

Im in LOVE

2007-07-18T10:27:00.000-05:00

The house of the righteous contains great treasure, but the income of the wicked brings them trouble.Proverbs 15:6 kjv

Just to let each of you know that I LOVE each and every one of you.
This is one of my days of randomness>

Me and Deb we're having a discussion about FORGIVENESS. The bible states that you are to forgive your brother who does you wrong and you are also to forget and not hold a grudge, so that you are forgiven. It is my thought that You are to do both of them and after that it is at the discretion of you to continue on after that. Well we both agreed that sometimes you have to let people go in order to protect your heart. I ask because I am in a situation with an ex of mine. I forgave and I forgot.. Do you think that I have to be bothered and befriend this ex for sake of me being forgiven? Or do you think that by me forgiven and forgetting about it, im done with the situation?

When I say alot, I mean alot. Why are there so many little children sneaking on BGC and hitting me up? I aint trying to catch a case! I attract younger people but no one under the age of 18.. I dont do minors. These brothers are crazy too.. They dont like you to tell them NO. Now a days you cant trust them. Thats the first thing I ask... How old are you? anything under 18 and if they are in High School.. Immediate disconnect.

So I am in the market for my new home. I found one that I am in LOVE with. TALK about Gorgeous. It's a trilevel home, with 3 beds, 3 baths, 2 car attached garage. I really want this place. PRAY for me.

Chastisement

2007-07-16T13:01:00.000-05:00

I know it’s been a while since ya boy been through here. I just want to let you all know that I LOVE YALL and that I consider each of you part of my EXTENDED FAMILY. I just been ailing and grieving and having the roughest time of 2007.

These last few weeks have been rather rough, difficult, painful, sad, over stimulating and to much for me to handle. First the car accident and then being off work all week stiff as board (get ur mind out the gutter). Then to find out that this dude didn’t have a lick of insurance and that all my pain and suffering would be unrewarded and that I would have to foot the bill for my car. Then I had fights with my former friends that lead to us not being friends anymore. Its hard losing friends, especially when they are like ur family. All this in one week! Nothing in my life was going good… NOTHING at all. It seemed like everything that I touched and thought about failed.

I felt like I was being punished by GOD for all my wrong doings in the past. Anyone that had ever received a whopping from GOD knows that they are no joke. Well, I will admit that I was not as faithful as I used to be. I had not been to church, I started cursing, being mean, and didn’t give a F**K about nothing anymore. The more steps I took forward, the more I doubled back plus some. I know that test and trials make you stronger, I thought! LORD, do they have to kill you? Was GOD trying to get my attention about something? Or maybe GOD has something big in store for me coming up soon and the DEVIL was trying to take me off my course and kill me so I couldn’t get it? Its funny how the DEVIL uses the things you love, the people you love, and your weaknesses to get you down. Who foresaw this car accident? Who foresaw me losing 2 BEST FRIEND? WHO Foresaw any of the stuff that has happened to me?

My weekend was rough! I lost a client on FRIDAY so unexpectedly. I stayed in the house and packed. Well yesterday I made the choice to reclaim my life. I’m here to reap the HARVEST GOD promised and take back what the DEVIL stole from me. HE tried to take my JOY! I went to church and My Pastor was preaching a GOOD word, but something was blocking me from listening to him but I heard him. I prayed and I heard what he was saying, ITS time to MOVE ON! That’s what I needed to hear, since that was what I was doing anyway. “You don’t need the reaffirmation, re-acclamation, confirmation, validation, chastisement of anyone to do what you need to be doing”. JUST MOVE, GOD will do things in your life to get your Attention, just MOVE on it. That’s what I plan to do.

As far as Moving is concerned, I will be moving. I’m not sure yet but I am about 50% packed and Ill be vacating the premises of my SLUM LORD SOON.

I cant win for losing

2007-06-26T14:21:00.000-05:00

After my hellish weekend and day yesterday. I thought let me get back into my workout routine. I leave work and decide to hit the gym bag all packed. Im sitting at the light damn the street from the gym and WHAMMMM!!!!!!!!! I looked in the mirror and saw the white car in my bumper. DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT is all i could holla. I screamed to the top of my lungs. I was done. Now to add to the rest of my sorrows and pain... More damage to my car that I have not even had 6 months. I get out and there stands this nigga standing 5'11 cute chocolate skin. HE was to sexy I kept trying to keep from looking at him. I noticed he had some nice feet cause he was wearing house shoes, he didnt have cakes nor any underclothes on.. damn why did we have to meet on such circumstances. Maybe he was so good looking that I didnt feel the pain until after we separated. I was ready to throw in the towel, to much for Maurice in one day. I had to sit in the emergency room all afternoon to be told that I have whipblash, strained ligaments in my neck and back. My arms, shoulders and neck are fucking killing me along with the shooting pains down my legs. I am happy I am on Tylenol 4 and Motrin every 4-6 hours with rest and relaxation. Talk about on Cloud nine.

2 weekends from hell

2007-06-25T13:29:00.000-05:00

Well as we all know the ROYAL FAMILY went to New York weekend.. Everyone else arrived at 1pm and I didn’t get there til 9. All the flight were delayed and which mine was one of them. WTF? Then I arrived and went to the rental car place who was giving me hell then I realized that my damn Debit card was gone.. WTF? Can it get any worst? Then on to the hotel which I was having the most difficulty getting too.. Talk about driving miles to correct an error. So I finally after my 4 laps around I got to the hotel. My battery was dead on my phone so I couldn’t call up. Later that evening we went to New York and I met up with my friend.
Saturday, We lost our damn minds and went shopping. At that point my phone began to be on the brinks.. DAMNIT. We got rained on and I ran out of money! I am not one to carry cash on me so It went so fast. Sunday was pretty much the same, except I didn’t have the money to shop. We ventured down to Harlem to see some historical sites. Monday, the fucking flight delayed again. NY and NJ are not some places that I will be considering moving too.
~This Weekend~
It was PRIDE time in the city and we participated in the festivities as we always do. Friday we went out to eat and then we walked around the North side. This night is when the bullshit started. We run into Cash’s guy, which we don’t like each other for some reason or some others. Well, I am a firm believer in not being phony so I didn’t say anything to him. Well at that point and it created conflict between half the group of 4. Which created a big argument all the way home.

Saturday, that was over and we started out with partaking in the festivities. I was texting someone else, when Cash decided to go through their phone. Not only violating the privacy of someone elses phone but repeating what was said back to the people who told me in the first place. This created an uproar with people not even there with us. I was fucking pissed. Because nothing that is some unnecessary drama which could have been avoided. As friends we all have to outweigh the good and bad. The good of one doesn’t outweigh the bad of others so I felt like he was only concerned with himself at that point and he lost some cool points with me at that point. Sometimes things are better left kept quiet. I just left the group and caught the bus home because I didn’t want to be in the midst of people while I was angry.

Because of this I have been fighting with my ex all weekend about the shit and this boy. It brought some things to the forefront of our “relationships. We now know we hate one another and I now who was and is most important in my life and I know it ain’t me. I been told that I am arrogant, a bitch, a queen and much more to name. Then to top it off. I was told my EX that he lost respect for me. WTF does that mean? Clearly when someone loses respect for you that means you are the scum of the earth to them. It means they dont give a damm what they say and do in front or behind your back-MrCool. It’s an ongoing fight. Now after the relationship has been over. I didn’t respect him in the relationship and all this other shit. So after hearing all I heard I know now the friendship between us over and maybe should have happened

Act like a kid if U want too

2007-06-12T13:24:00.000-05:00

Song Im feeling at the Moment: Encourage Yourself by Donald Lawrence
My friend from LA is here and I kicked it with him all day. I woke up this morning and immediately hit the snooze…. WTF, I didn’t want to get up and boy I am tired. So I hate when I get like this, I am cranky and OVERALL a Real Bitch…. More so than ever!
People have been getting on my nerves lately because people don’t want to grow up. Life ain’t about games! People have been showing me lately how much I really mean to them.. Why is that people want you to put your all on the table and they have nothing or even try to bring anything to the table. That bothers me to no end… I say Damn what do you want me to do….. They claim to not be on bullshit but in fact that’s all they’re on… I just don’t get IT! I was not born YESTERDAY. On a more pleasant note… I kinda made amends with my family this weekend in our own way… I still have not had much convo with them but at least I’m willing to be cordial finally.
Yo Boy is still single…. But I’ve been meeting some interesting people and the bad part about it is that they are all in different cities far away. I met this 20 yr old boy and he seems to be full of drama but he real cool. I got my eye on this LOVELY lady at my church.. I want to marry her… If I only knew how to approach her... I love my ex but he is full of shit and didn’t realize he had a good thing so that’s why were single… He aint ready to grow up… TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE.
This past weekend Me, Debbie, Louis and a co-worker of mine went out originally for shopping and gathering items for my trip this upcoming weekend. I acted like a big ass KID! It started out with lots of birthday gifts from her and then a nice little lunch and ended up SOAKING WET. Me and Debbie were chasing one another through the gas station with bottles of water. Imagine my fat ass and her lil ass running around.. *** her yelling I’m gone get you Black Muthafucker*** (ME Screaming with Laughter).. LOL…. Then we went in Marshall’s clowning and fucked with the cashier. We did this dialogue of her being my wife and her taking care of me. All the while the Cashier is looking at us crazy.

Me: Babe can you buy these pants for me
Her: Yes
ME: Are you ready for me to get a job
Her: Yes im tired of paying all the bills, buying your clothes, paying your child support, and overall taking care of you.
Me: Im tired of having to beg you for money and everything…
Her: We need to go back to Texas!
ME: (grabs her around the shoulder) Babe, were not from Texas were from the Southside of Chicago. Did you take your medicine this morning? I told you about coming out without your meds.. (Cashier, looks in awww and walks away).

One of these days were going to get arrested.
We then went to Walmart, and she poured Water down my back… She ran off around the store trying to avoid me… I picked up a gallon and looked for her around the store… I finally caught her ass and she was scared. I didn’t get her get her cause Co worker was trying to protect her. But we made it back to Chicago.. Its after 12 in the morning and I remembered she wet me up so I grab the water out of coworkers car and Started throwing that shit at Debbie (her saying I’m gone get you black muthafucker. Then Co-worker pours window out her window on me…. And then I run back to my car and throw water out at her through her back windows.. OFFICIALLY the summer has begun and its on..

Gay or Straight?

2007-05-30T15:32:00.000-05:00

First I want to give mad props to the ROYAL FAMILY for making my birthday weekend a great one. Special thanks to Kash for being the organizer of the weekend and Too Royal for driving up here.. It was all a surprise to me and I knew nothing about it. It all started out on Friday with dinner and bowling at Lucky Stripes. Madame Kornbread and the crew met us up there. Saturday some light shopping and dinner at Wildfire. Sunday, Garretts popcorn run and lunch at IHOP. I know we eat a lot.
Statefarm is pissing me off, them bitches still ain’t got my car fixed and waiting on a police report and its been damn near 2 weeks.

Today I am going to talk about the STORY of my life: SEX. Im having one of those random moments and thought I would discuss. Well, do you think that the lack of sex can make one cranky? The reason why I am asking is because I am told by many people that I am cranky and it is because I ain’t hitting that ass or pussy on a regular. What are your thoughts? I been having a lot of sexual related dreams and I can not fathom where they might be coming from. Where did the sanctity of sex go? I was having this conversation with this guy today and he showed me how fucking RUTHLESS people are.

(5/30/2007 12:57:12 PM): I'm lettin you know now, i want my back broke in while i'm single...by one nigga. somebody i can trust no strings attatched, dats clean and knows he's clean, that can promise me if he fucks somebody else dat he gone strap up...then we can take it to the next level
Mukky (5/30/2007 2:27:17 PM): Oh you want it raw?
Mukky (5/30/2007 2:29:25 PM): so what about your status?
(5/30/2007 2:29:34 PM): what about it?
Mukky (5/30/2007 2:34:59 PM): Are u sure that your not harboring any diseases that can be transferred to the top
(5/30/2007 2:35:44 PM): What I like, and what I do mean two different things...
Mukky (5/30/2007 2:36:00 PM): oh ok
(5/30/2007 2:36:01 PM): just ''cause I asked u, don't mean I ask every nigga the same thing
(5/30/2007 2:36:13 PM): but don't worry, you have already disqualified yourself
WTF, I thought.. I immediately ended the conversation.

TOP OR BOTTOM? What makes one a top or what makes one a bottom? Niggas be on that bullshit. So I accidently hit a couple of tops up and they were all ready to get on their backs.. Oh im verse! Another question, if your having a phone bone with someone… and they CLAIM to be a Top… How is it that your phone boning and they want you to beat it up … Doesn’t it sound like he is a bottom to you?

GAY or STRAIGHT? Ok I had this issue with this fag I met from BGC. He want to be gay in the night and straight by day. I mean how can you let a nigga stick his in your hole and fuck you and then claim straight the next day. I told him just like I told one of my friends… “To thine own self be true” “you do it because you like it” Its nothing wrong with being GAY.
360 what are your thought on all of that?

May 23rd is My Birthday

2007-05-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

It all began on this day in 1981 that I would be born to young parents in Chicago. Illinois. My parents didn’t know what they had birthed in front of them. Hey I was born in the inner city of Chicago and faced many hard trials ahead of me. They didn’t know that I was going to be the smart, exciting, thick, good-looking and crazy person that I am today 26 years later. I am so thankful that I was able to see another on the earth. A day above dirt is better than any day below it. Many said I wouldn’t make it, but I’m still here.
I have so much to be thankful and so much to reflect on in the past 26 years. For one I am getting old, I am no longer a quarter of a century old and working my way towards the second quarter. LOL. GOD, had kept me here through many trials and tribulations, car accidents, depression and break ups. He has given me family, friends, baby mammas and baby daddies, health, strength, wisdom and the many more blessings coming forth. LOL…

At first my birthday didn’t mean nothing to me because last sure it was spent making preparations for my grandmother’s funeral. My 25th was sad, very sad. But my friends let me know that it means something to them so it has to mean something to me. Since I got up at 545am this my phone been ringing off the hook, hundreds of text messages, facebook messages and 360 messages all have been coming to my phone. My bosses have not done anything as of yet, but we play games around here when it comes to birthdays… My clients all rushed me with gifts and junk, they know what I like I got a mini grocery store on my desk.
I don’t know what I’m going to do today, Details will be posted on Tommorow blog.

One hell of a Birthday Weekend

2007-05-21T13:20:00.000-05:00

What up 360? This ya boy coming at ya, I know it’s been a while but I’m dropping down on you with some of my weekly rants, raves and random thoughts. I had last week off from school to actually get some rest. I mean this professor was an Ass. I was disappointed that I didn’t get my usual A in the class but kind of excited about the B I am getting. Today the world OFFICIALLY enters into the realm of the ALMIGHTY GEMINI. What wonderful people we are.
Now on to my FAMILY. My sister came home to stay with me until she goes back for summer school and it has been hell. I mean I am in the phase of LIFE where quiet and solitude is important to me. I mean I been catching up on sleep and lounging around the house. Then here she comes and not only did she come, she brought her man with her. Hell I thought I must have been running an escort service on the LAKE. What would I call it, “LAKE SHORES Escort Service.” I quickly let her know that he was not going to be spending 100% of his time in my house and that when I come home I don’t want to see him or anyone else.
I have yet to talk to my momma and my grandma. I made it up in my mind a while back that I was done dealing with the HEART Ache brought forth by my family. I don’t know if they are misbehaving because of my Bisexual orientation or whatever the case is, I’m not putting up with it. I’m tired of being GUILT TRIPPED, scorned and made to feel bad because I don’t help them out. You would think that after I took their mothers day gifts and did a DRIVE by GIFT throwing they would see that I wasn’t playing anymore. I am not going to be talking to them until they change and I’m praying neither of us meets our demise before then.
With my 25th (26th) birthday quickly rolling around the corner I mean I am knocking on 30’s door and people will probably start calling me an old man. I wanted to kick this past weekend but did not do anything of the sort. Friday night I spent my evening having cocktails by myself in my bed chatting with the kids off of BGC, which is a DAMNED FOOL. I mean it seems as if all this underage High School Kids hit me up and the actual adults play games. In my last relationship I was 5 years his senior but never 10. I also find it HILARIOUS that I am blocked by several people who I never said anything too. I went to bed so early that I woke back up at 6am Saturday morning. I got up and went to the DMV to get my license because it was expiring on my birthday. I had to retake the written and vision both of which I passed. I spent the rest of the day chillin with Deb.
I had this best friend from HIGH School after we graduated we lost contact and haven’t talk, hell its been almost 10 years. Somehow we found one another on Myspace and we talked for about 3 hours on Saturday. I was so happy because we had a lot to catch up on. Hopefully, if he comes to Chicago I will see him next weekend.
My boring weekend climaxed last night on my way home when looked and saw MERCEDES in my window. I looked up and “Japan” had hit my damn car. I mean damnit you can’t have nothing. I get out the car and both of my damn Drivers doors are caved in. Then the rice eating hoe has the nerve to say to the police that I hit her damn TRUCK. I ask how? Your car ain’t dented but not 1 but 2 of my doors are fucked up. She hit me with the steel beams on the front of the truck.

The Bisexual Church

2007-05-08T15:34:00.000-05:00

I know it’s been a while since I graced everyone with one of my blogs but a brother has been hella busy.
I didn’t know that one person could have more things to do in excess. I have dealt with my family whom I’m taking breaks from. I mean gimme, let me, can I and all his cousins nem GOT KILLED about 2 weeks ago.
But anyway my roommate moved out and I got to admit I love living by myself. LOL… Its quiet in my house, I am not a tv watcher so they are never on. All I hear is my aquarium running. That won’t be for much longer tho because pretty Ill be moving. YAY!
As far as the love life is concerned a brother is still single, it’s going on like 4 months now. There are some interests and some people that are feeling me, but I have not done as much as meet them. The innocently freaky Maurice has a high sex drive but I ain’t doing any of that. Its funny last week I was called into a meeting and I couldn’t move because I had an erection that lasted over 20mins and wouldn’t go down. LOL. My boss spanked me and told me to go and tap something.
I know my friends feel as if ive been neglecting them, I HAVENT…
This weekend I ventured down to EIU my ALMA MATER to see my good friend Georgy Porgy Graduate. Ill tell him again CONGRATS! His graduation is the last EIU graduation that I will probably ever attend because he was my last friend left there.
So on the Bisexual Church. TooRoyal always calls my church Destiny Coming Out center. I didn’t think that it is that many gays in my church until recently. I went to the club with the boys one weekend and it seemed like all the Destiny kids were at the club . All the fags in my church have wives, girlfriends and children. The majority of them are just the way I like them. That could get me in trouble but luckily enough for them I won’t date inside the church.
And I’m so unsatisfied with my job, I got 4 manila envelopes filled with resumes, applications, transcripts, and brown envelopes and stamps.
And Im moving! YAY!

Health Benefits

2007-04-30T13:16:00.000-05:00

Health Benefits of Sex
Description The following is a brief exploration of the benefits accrued from having sex on a regular basis. Gain in energy:
Sex is a form of physical exercise. Sex three times a week burns lots of calories, and if maintained throughout the year, is equivalent to jogging 75 miles. Increase in oxidation:
Sex increases the supply of oxygen to the cells and stimulates the activity of various organs and systems within the body. Reduction of cholesterol
Sex balances out the good cholesterol to bad cholesterol ratio, and at the same time reduces the overall cholesterol count in the body. Pain relief:
Some studies indicate that sex may reduce headaches and joint pain.
Protection of the prostate gland:
Prostate gland-related disorders are known to be caused by or become worsened as a result of the secretions from the gland. Regular sexual activity eliminates these harmful secretions. However, a sudden change in the frequency of sex can also cause prostate-related disorders. Stress relief:
The satisfaction and the relaxation after sex are beneficial for the mind and the circulatory system. Marital bliss:
Love and affection can increase the level of oxytocin, a hormone that induces sexual desire. A higher level of oxytocin will increase the frequency of sexual encounters between the couple. Physical energy:
Sex has an advantage, especially for women. Regular sex increases the level of female hormone, which reduces the risk of heart disease and softens the vaginal tract. Hormonal increase:
Physical exercise, in whatever form, increases the level of the male hormone, testosterone, within the body. Experts say that this hormone strengthens the muscles and bones of the human body. Hormonal supplementation:
During sex, DHEA is secreted throughout the body. During orgasms or just before ejaculation, the level of DHEA in the bloodstream is 5 times its normal level. This steroid secreted by the adrenal cortex is the major androgen precursor in females. It is also present in males. High levels of DHEA have been associated with longevity, enhanced libido, building muscle mass, and warding off depression.

Children I dont play games with you

2007-04-18T13:24:00.000-05:00

I’m in a much better mood here lately. I am down 14lbs now and I am so happy about it. I just cant seem to get rid of these thighs and this BUTT.. Hell the stomach is going down gradually but them Thunder thighs are STUCK!
Ø My co-worker and I are still not talking because I am not going to kiss his butt and believe the delusions that he has. When he finally comes around and asks why? I am going to tell him it is because I feel I am inferior to him. I simply don’t meet his standards and I am not one of the well to doers as he calls himself and that I don’t want cast out because of my inability to be classified into his GRANDUER.
Ø A portion of the big boys crew rolled down to STL this weekend to see our good friend TooRoyal. It had been a while since the last time we saw him so we pressed our way on Friday. Friday I got to see people I’ve heard about, people I didn’t want to see and my good friend that I had not seen in a while. I spent most of that evening ignoring THEIR friend while having fun at Mags. We went to IHOP after that and Royal was messing with the 18 year old waiter who had the potential to be GAY. Let me tell you Cash was Drunk as hell. He was so hilarious…
Ø Saturday me and Royal went to get twisted up. I sat and watched while they hacked off his hair. It hurt my heart because those of you that know him knew that his hair was half way down his back and he is 6’5. We went out to eat at this restaurant called Café O with his friend ill call totaler. Totaler was cool, he spent the whole weekend with us. I then separated from the group and hooked up with my friend Ill call BOOTY. We went to Café Cartel where I met up with my friend named confused. Next thing I know the crew and some was walking through the door. I had not seen him in a few years since we went straight and all. All im going to say is that I’m not convinced. Booty then took me over his friends house who might I add is an ASS. He was trying to come for me that moment I walked in the door and him not knowing me… HE got it right back! So he had this ugly little thing there who must’ve to be stupid or something. He was talking and said his “WHOLE” auntie re-twists his hair. LOL.. I say well which part of her does it. Lets say we laughed all night. The little boy was hilarious.. cause he then said to someone on the phone “that’s why you momma ain’t got no knees” LOL… Then they went in the other room and started doing it. So me being the innocent person that I am, I went and looked. Then the little boy told me, You can touch.. NO thanks! After that I went to the 747 with the crew. I didn’t have a good time, 1. cause it was not really a club, 2. A certain person was annoying the Fuck out of me and 3. I was sleepy. Needless to say I told the person who annoyed me how I felt and in so many words to FUCK OFF and never speak to me again, I felt better and I slept with peace.
Ø Sunday we got up and checked out the hotel and went to Royals church. When it was time for the guest to stand his grandmother gave us all a once , twice and about 10 times over, I mean she stared us down. If I could picture what she was saying it would go something like “LORD, HUNEY,look at those weirdos over there, whew JESUS” When I tell you this woman is HILARIOUS. We all went out to eat and she did more eye rolling, neck jerking, and reading than any of the kids could do. She didn’t curse to much because of Cash and Dalilbbrown but she will most def curse in front of me. We hit the road after that and then I had to read my ex THE A. I swear he is a BUTCH QUEEN STUNT. But I told him he is single and the problem lies within. If everyone he dates has the same problem then the main Variable is him. So I told him he would be better off single and to lay on his back and then go on about his business.
Ø Monday I didn’t go to work so I chilled all day

Sick and Tired of being sick and tired

2007-04-12T13:17:00.000-05:00

This last week has been one stressful week and once again my emotions are running HIGH. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’m sure some of you have had these times in your life. If it ain’t one thing then its another. But through it all I managed to pull off an A in my class. Not just an A but a 100% in this class. I just need a vacation alone and away from People. I’m FED up and my cup is running and spilling over.
1st it’s the whole ex-girlfriend fiasco. I mean she wants to have her cake and eat it too, who does she think she is. Guess what? I’m the stupid one for falling for someone else’s woman the nerve of me. I have gotten all tied up into her only for my heart to be yanked, twisted and literally pulled out of my chest. I heard the song the “Truth Is” by Fantasia and that brought back so many memories. She is dead wrong for leading me on. So I’ve been depressed about it. I don’t know why I feel like that either. My friend Debbie has been talking to me on a daily basis. I can only account these feelings to be lonely to allow an engaged woman to come into my life and take my heart. I usually a strong person and doesn’t allow anything or anyone but I guess I’m pretty vulnerable to allow it.
I’m going to put it out there in the OPEN.. MAURICE is lonely and been that way for some months. My past relationship hit a rocky road a long time ago and everything WENT down Hill until it was OVER. Towards the end it was not that GREAT and I was beginning to GET lonelier by the day. So the thought of someone paying attention to me other than my friends just THRILLED me.. Someone actually likes me… Someone thinks I might make a great lover….. So lonely, vulnerable, thrilled me Jumped on the opportunity.. ONLY to face Reality… SHE STILL BELONGS To someone else and that I will be left lonely.
I have this co-worker whom I will call GORGEOUS. Gorgeous Runs me lower than the people run President Bush’s approval rating. Im damn near empty. Well I have noticed a while back that he is in competition with me like we’re competing in the GAY Olympics. Who in the Fizzy does he think he is? Like when I bought my car, he then had to compete with me and tell me that he was getting a 2005 Nissan Armada Fully loaded with 20k miles on it and no money down for 515/ month. Who is stupid? Then he comes in with these elaborate stories of Grandness and he is not even close to being HIGH Grade. But to top this story off… He first told me that he was in GRAD school. So why did he tell me last Wednesday that he applied and by Thursday when we got off work.. He was enrolled.. and starting his class that evening.. WHO is stupid.. The semester is almost over and I’m sure they wouldn’t start a class on a Thursday right before Easter. Talk about DELUSIONAL!
So I created me another Adam4Adam profile. Why is it the same tired old people from last year and the year before. The same lies, same bullshit, the same everything. What seems to amaze me is the fact that the people see a new profile and then they flock to it. I had one of my old dips to hit me up telling me he just moved here from ATL. I looked at the Profile.. and said NO you didn’t. He got mad. Then they claim they don’t want sex but instead.. they pad it and make it seems like they want friendship.. SO why is it in the first 10 mins of our conversation am I asked “How big is your dick”? Why? Well cause You’re a top.. LOL..WTF does that have to do with anything?

Things I want to share

2007-03-29T15:52:00.000-05:00

Right now I am celibate. I don’t have any kind of sexual encounters. I don’t masturbate nor tweek my nipples. What a change and I wonder what brought it on.
Once a person has crossed me I don’t trust them anymore and it takes a very long time to build up that trust again.
So as you all know I been going to the gym and thank GOD the wait is finally coming off. I losing an average of 4 lbs a week so I am happy about that. I hate going into the LOCKER room. It seems to be filled with naked men every time I go. Or when I am in their someone comes in and starts taking off their clothes. I don’t have that type of will power not to look. LOL. I know who is wearing under clothes and whose not. I just cant help it, it supercedes my innocence. LOL. Often I find myself looking out the corners of my eyes to what’s going on. One day some is going to catch me and it will be just my luck that their down and Ill go screaming and running out of there for dear life.
Why I am sure now that my personal trainers are GAY. On Monday, he went and was voguing down. LOL.. so yesterday I said you were really voguing wasn’t you, he said “yeah I was voguing down.” So I guess he thought about what he said and then he changed his mind said what are you talking about. CAUGHT UP! So me being the persistent person that I am kept messing with him. So then I asked are yall roommates? He said yeah.. Confirmation.

Get your proorities in Order

2007-03-28T13:13:00.000-05:00

On last night I went to the gym and had one of a workout. I guess last night was “family night” cause the children from A4A and 360 were out working on their guts for the summer. I like instant gratification and I feel that the weight ain’t coming off fast enough but in all respects its coming off the way it should. I took a nice long hott steamy shower and washed my hair which I may add, has grown. I was in a good mood last night, went to bed in a good and woke up in a good mood.
So I got up and went to work all in a good cheerful mood. So my agency through my mood for a loop when they called me down to the break room to sample some coffee. I thought that it was a company trying to advertise and get you to buy their product. Well come to find out, my company is going to buy this machine. I immediately got pissed off and I know now its time for me to go. They simply don’t have their priorities in order. They are going to purchase a new coffee machine that will not be profitable to the company. Imagine this “New coffee machine, but no raise, bonuses or quarterly stipend for its overworked employees. TALK ABOUT PRIORITIES, I find it to be stupid as hell.
But to talk about something more important like my original blog post. It was going to be about my blast from the past.
How many of you have gotten your butt beat when you were younger? Well I was one of them I was always getting my tail beat. I wasn’t all that bad but I had one hell of a mouth. I mean if I was going to get a whooping then why not say what you wanted to say. I remember my mom would ask me why I did something, and I would tell her because I felt like it. Mouth Shot! She would tell me to clean up the kitchen, I would ask her does she do anything?, BEAT DOWN. She would tell me to watch my siblings who might I add are 5 years younger than me, I would tell her those are not my kids you watch them yourself. LOL, BEAT DOWN.
Then of course the bad things I used to do. I think I used to be a pyromaniac. Then of course I was nasty, I used to love playing house. Boy those were the days. I have gotten caught with my pants down, in the bed and simply in the act with ex girlfriends. Or being Manish with my momma’s friend son. LOL. LORD I used to literally get the S**T beat of me. I use to get extension cords, belt, switches, brooms, wooden spoons taken to me. I didn’t care!
I say they need to bring the old school mothers back. The ones that made you go to church all the time. I remember I used to go to church all the time. Tuesday night Bible study, Thursday night Choir rehearsal, Friday night, whatever it was, Saturday morning Cleaning the church, and all day Sunday at church. I grew up C.O.G.I.C so you know they always got something going on in the church. But these were the mommas who children didn’t turn out so bad. These kids today are horrible and disrespectful? The world is going to come an end. I seen about 7 of be-be’s kids running down the street last night. I said what the hell have they done now. The other day I was driving and it was probably the same 7 that were throwing sticks and rocks at some lady who appeared to be a HYPE. Where has the black community gone too (Maybe tomorrows blog) Where were their mothers? Shaniquaita was probably in the nail shop or in the shop getting her HAIRE DID! It disturbs me that people are leaving their children out here for the world to make a mockery of. The bible says beat them. I say beat the hell out of them. My whooping helped me and I didn’t turn out to bad. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?

shut the f**k up sometimes

2007-03-27T15:36:00.000-05:00

Its been a few days so of course to catch you up on my life, it will be a lot of randomness. To talk about all that I need to share. First topic!
It deeply disturbs me that our people can’t shut the hell up long enough to keep a job. I know a couple of people who can’t keep a job to save they’re lives. WTF!!??? Shut up! You don’t have to go blow to blow with the supervisor. Shut UP! Just because you believe that you are right doesn’t automatically make you right! Nope it doesn’t! For whatever reason it is, they are the subordinate and you are the Insubordinate so do what the hell your supposed to be doing and go home. B***h, moan and complain when you get home . For the rest of your life someone is going to be telling you what to do. For instance my director sent out an email informing us of what were not supposed to do. My initial hot headed temperament said reply to his email and give him one good swift read. I thought about it and said I need my stipend so shut the HELL UP!
So my weekend was cool, Friday night I didn’t do much even though I had homework to do. Saturday, I spent the early part of the day with my family and the later part out West at Mr. Smith’s house. ARE we Related? I don’t know. But the big boy crew rolled up and pressed our way even though Cash and Dalilbbrown didn’t want to come in. Mr. Smith had to go down and get them. I connected with several people from 360 that I never even paid any attention too. It was some PHYNE brothers there. I was like yes chocolate, thick, cakes. I ain’t gone tell the secret but everyone at the party was discussed one by one! I had a great time and I didn’t have to do nothing at all. But I was glad to finally meet Westside, Mr. Smith and See Nubian again. He has Plenty of cakes for me to grab a hold of. His exact words were, “their fresh out of the oven.” Westside I don’t have any words for him but I know I will be kicking it with him again. I don’t even know why he keeps insisting on me not being innocent! I am, I Truly am! If I wasn’t so innocent why didn’t I hit on someone and try to take them home with me?
So I had to take my sister back to U of I because she couldn’t get a ride back. I didn’t want to go and then I knew the State Boys were going to be on the prowl. Well it was this white man on a motor cycle. I don’t know what I did to him but he had it out for me. He spit on my car and tried to wedge me in between some trucks! And told me to suck his nuts. WTF! LOL.. well I said I was gone keep it cool but finally I had enough. I finally managed to get around him and slowed down in front of him and then I opened fire on him with my windshield wiper fluid flying all in his face like a Torpedo. He stuck his finger up at me and then I laid it on thick again then I hit that accelerator and went on about my business. LOL. STUPID CUNT!
So, I think I have finally got it. My ex girlfriend is confused about what she wants to do. I talked to my sister who is a fellow Gemini, and she said that she is confused if she wants to pick up where we left off or LOVE and continue to be with this man. Well I don’t know what she is doing but she is already giving off that signal that something else has her attention. LORD, people don’t get caught up this quick but hey that’s on her. So, yesterday I went to pick her up and tell me why he came out with her. He doesn’t know me or my car so I wasn’t worried besides that I was down the street and around the corner. LOL. But I saw him! Then this morning he called before we could get out of the neighborhood good. He is on to her! She is one of those people who need to shut the hell up because she tells him that she ran into me. WOULDN’T YOU BE SUSPICIOUS?

I am changing

2007-03-21T14:13:00.000-05:00

On Friday I thought I was going to die, literally leave here. I caught some kind of nasty Stomach virus and it was going to take me out. I was in the mall with one of my clients and I broke out in a mean sweat and hives with my insides feeling like they were melting away. I wanted to scream at the fact I had to use the public restroom. I went home and went to bed because I didn’t want to die while I was awake.
I attempted to get my windows tinted cause a freak like me cant ride around untinted. I don’t want no one driving next to me and be like that “Maurice”, “Innocent freak”, “Marcus”, or “babydreds” as I used to be called. Hell besides that I might want to get busy in my backseat and I cant have no one looking directly at me without some form of a shield. Just kidding, I have innocence to uphold! So Later that day I went out to lunch with my young uncle who is 20. Well I really don’t know him so I thought that it would be a GREAT idea for us to get to know one another before my grandfather passes away. Well anyway I notice that he wears typical fag clothes and pumps and tight lil leather jacket. So his sleeve came up a little and I saw a rainbow wrist band. OMG, I ignored it and acted like I didn’t see it. See we went in the restaurant and we’re talking and again I see it and I couldn’t resist.
Me: Unc what’s that around your wrist?
UNC: A wrist band
Me: What kind of brand is that? Is that for your Fraternity?
Unc: No it’s a pride band,
Me: What are you proud of?
UNC: It’s a Gay Pride Wrist band!
Me: Huh, what? (Eyes widen, heart rate increases, and I clutch my heart) repeat that!
Unc: what’s wrong? Are you ok? But yeah it’s a GAY PRIDE wrist band
Me: So your GAY?
UNC:YES
I said ok and went on to say why didn’t you tell me. I LOVE gay people. LOL. He said he thought my sister would have told me. Well she did try too but I didn’t listen cause Girls always talking about someone gay. Anyway, I didn’t tell my own T and Ill tell him when he turns 21 and I go down to his school. At least I know now I am not in this alone.
I am in the market for a new laptop and I am unsure of what kind to get? Any suggestions!?
I don’t know why but I been feeling like being a whore. LOLOL… I mean me, the innocent freak wants to go out and have sex with different people. LORD, I know people are surprised at me but needless to say I am the innocent freak and I just want to do it and im not actually going out doing it. I had this dream about picking up this shawty, getting my dick, laying him on his back on the park bench and/or picnic table and just licking, sucking, and eating him up. I know I would enjoy it and so would he. Then I keep having dreams of me…. LORD, having sex in my car without my windows being tinted. Do I dream Freaky or what? And why do I have dreams about certain members of 360 and our sexual encounters? Who do you think I dream about? It could be you!
So now I think I am changing and its for the better. I think I have lost some weight and I have made at least a 250 degree lifestyle change not quite to 360 yet. I’ve stopped eating meat, consuming more vegetables, No sugars, decrease in carbs, drastic decrease in fast food. What I miss most is my cookies? I also been working out at least 4 days a week including 2 days of personal training. I am building up my strength and I’m glad because now I can pick some of you up and……………
Anyway, I picked up my ex-gf for work this morning. Tell me why are we sneaking around and her FIANCE was in the house. Anyway, this is the first time I picked her up at her house. She was sitting in the car waiting on me and got out and made the alarm go off. WTF, you trying to be incognegro and then gone set off the alarm. So she comes running down to my car and says hurry up and drive off. We were talking and everything was cool until I picked up my coworker. When he got out, she said is he GAY? I said I don’t know… I don’t know him like that. That opened another can of worms. LORD, I guess us sneaking around is over. But the funny part is that her fiancée called and my police radar started going off….

Ive been Tagged

2007-03-19T14:11:00.000-05:00

got about 15 interesting things about me
1. I love sex
2. I have an addiction to cars(Ive had 4 cars since I graduated in 2004)
3. Im a freaky TOP
4. I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
5. I still like girls
6. Ive had sex with 1,2 or maybe more of my friends. (Not anyone you guys would know)
7. I have a strong attraction to Dark Men with full lips
8. The first thing I notice about people is the size of their Butt
9. Im a exhibitionist (YES I like to do it outdoors)
10. I now have a GAY uncle
11. I grew up a Foster Kid in DCFS
12. TooRoyal and I have been friends since 2002 and I love HIM like my brother
13. I attract young boys that want to use me for sex
14. I am in GRAD school trying to hurry and make it over
15. I work out 4 days a week

How about you learrn to help your damn self?

2007-03-16T14:09:00.000-05:00

Hey whassup? I know its been a long time since I blogged but I still checked yall out from time to time. You wouldn’t believe it but I lost my phone which I lost everything. LORD, who ever has the phone has a great amount of porn. I mean I had videos, pictures and any other kind of media. Besides that I lost all of my friends phone numbers. So any of you that wants me to have your number again shoot it to me again in a message and even those that want me to have yours can show it to me. My life has been consumed with going to the gym, working with the personal trainer, and working my 2 jobs, and School which might I add I’m thinking of dropping out for the simple fact it is starting to interfere with my personal life and I ain’t feeling it at all. LOL.. I did manage to swing a 3.92 Cum GPA. And right now in my class I actually have a 100% which I am very shocked because when I tell you this professor is HARD. She is hard and don’t care what you got to do but turn in her work.
So yesterday on my way to work I ran into my ex-girlfriend . Immediately my feelings for her came back and she initiated the exchanging of phone numbers. I mean she called me like 30mins after I gave her the number and then she began to tell me about her child and fiancée. Did I get a little jealous? Hell Yeah. But we talked for about 3 hours last night and that meant a lot to me. So why did she sneak around the corner from her house so that I can pick her up and take her to work? What do you think about that? Well I asked a mature woman at my job about it. She said that we have unresolved feelings or she is still interested in me. Do I love her? YES! We’ve been talking so I will see where this goes.
Over the last few days or maybe weeks different people have been telling me that I am mean and evil. I do not believe that I am and it’s not because I’m being facetious and saying NO! They say it because I stated “If you don’t care, then I surely don’t give a DAMN”! I told the three people that if they wanted to smoke and pollute their lungs then by all means then gone ahead and do it. I simply said if you want to smoke 6 packs a day, then by all means DO IT, just don’t tell me when you’re sick from it because you didn’t want to help yourself. Does this make me mean?
I am so OVER the young people outside at Gas Stations, grocery stores and everywhere else asking for Change. I simply tell them NO because they are able bodied young men who can go and get a job. I’m sorry if you think that your to good to work at McDonalds or somewhere. It’s a mess! Does this make me mean?
Next is my family, who thinks that I am a money Tree. I bet think that I am a big ol Oak tree in the rainforest who produces dollars as leaves. Now they run me low asking me for money. They like to borrow money and then never pay it back or they continuously want more. I simply told them not to call me asking me for anything because I am not helping them any longer. Everyone can do what they want with their money but I am supposed to not spend mine on me but save it for them. NAW, I have had about enough. I ain’t gone call anyone out but I am simply gone let them hit rock bottom because I ain’t helping anyone cause its time for me to enjoy my life and not take care of anyone. Does this make me Mean?

Quit Playing

2007-02-16T13:07:00.000-06:00

Today has probably been the most boring day at the GIG in a long time. Im sitting here tired of looking at profiles on 360, tired of checking email, and tired of doing nothing. I just dont feel motivated to do anything and I dont know why.
I got this co-worker of mine who just runs me LOW... I mean dont get me wrong I aint all of that but I dont go around pretending to be something that I aint. Well for starters he claims that he is the best in anything he does... While I sit and look at him as a F**K UP. He tries to make everyone at the table laugh at him and they simply just look at him and I adjust my reading glasses. TooRoyal can attest to his personality, he is far too many things. He walks around here calling my name.. Maurice! I told him today LOOK Brother.. You are working my nerves... You dont know everything and I wish you would stop trying to impose yourself on me. I swear he has the answer for it all.. I hold my tongue back to keep from saying some bad things to him because I know his lil feelings would be hurt. WHO Does He Think He is? If he has on something and you compliment him then he has to give this dramatic performance of how they were shipped from Italy first class. Girl... Im thinking.. Honey shipped from Burlingtoncoatfactory.com or Valuecity.com. The clothes are in Italy have never been made for the plus size kids. LORD, i know any minute he'll be pooching over here with me. To tell me about this LAVISH, Luxurious, Grand, Non existent lifestyle that he lives. Let him tell it he pulls all the KIDS and they flock to him like white on rice. He Drives that Rolls Royce(Grandma's Plymouth). He wears those Fendi Shades (Kiosk at Ford City), and basically has his dissertation written and is about to be published (B.A).. Can we get a Amen for this DIVA. NOT! He pissed me off today and this is the reason why I dont deal with FAGS.. He says so why didnt you let me suduce you when I dropped you off the OTHER DAY. EXCUSE ME! I told him Im no ones HOE. LOW and Behold, did he just come over here and touch my shoulders and start singing.. Oh yeah I forgot he is a member of the BEST community Choir in the City.
So next I got a friend who is really running me LOW. Tell me about these FAGS. So I am positive Joliet Junior is down. He absolutely loves boys and he knows he does. He makes these lil snide remarks and then plays it off like no one heard him. He makes advances at me one and then the next day.. He is saved Sanctified, Holy Ghost Filled, Born and Baptised and Straigter than my Dick when I am hard. I want to tell him all the time, who do you think you are fooling? I cant let him keep living in his little fantasy world.. To thine own self be true.. and thats my motto.. I try to keep it real and I dont sugar coat anything for anyone.. I talked to Mrs. Kornbread ...

Maurice: I got a friend... who wants me so bad but is scared
ms_keisha_kornbread: and?
Maurice: he is a punk
ms_keisha_kornbread: clearly
ms_keisha_kornbread: what he scared of
ms_keisha_kornbread: bleeding?
ms_keisha_kornbread: rips?
ms_keisha_kornbread: and tears?
ms_keisha_kornbread: amateurs!!
ms_keisha_kornbread: lawd
ms_keisha_kornbread: LOL
ms_keisha_kornbread: burn his house down
ms_keisha_kornbread: or his car
ms_keisha_kornbread: and call it even
Maurice: LOL.....
Maurice: Im going to just go see him and make him do the stuff so he can stop talking crazy

Who do you think you are?

2007-02-15T13:05:00.000-06:00

Well yesterday started off wrong to begin with so I could not expect it to be a good day anyway. It started with me being stuck in the parking lot of my house and not being able to move my car out of my spot more than a few feet. I gave up and went back in the house and called my supervisors to say I wasn’t coming. Approx 30mins later they called me and told me to come to work. I was like I don’t do buses that’s why I own a car. Needless to say if I wanted to be paid then I had to go. So I tracked through all of the snow until I got to the street where I had to track over the mounds of snow, IDOT pushed on the curb.. while I was standing there attempting to cross the street these 2 guys pulled up and we had the stare down. I turned my head cause I’m like if you AINT taking me to my job I’m not talking to you. I got on the push and paid my $2, yuck and then my co-workers picked me and brought me back to the job where they were having a party for our clients.. which I might was Good. Then my other co-worker brought me home. I spent my evening sitting in front of my computer talking to various people.. I went to bed last night by myself without cumming… NO Cakes, NO Cookies, No Pies and I didn’t even beat my own meat. So yesterday was the same day as any other DAY.. ITS SUCKED!

As the Blog Turns

Mookie, Dekalb, Walmart and Baby Daddy C-world enter the Stage. It was silent and out of the Blue C-World starts yelling.. YOU F**King cheater.. You told me that you were going to be with me and no one else was going to come between us. YOU LIED! Now your F**KING my best friend! Mookie stands up then and hollers you were not good enough for him. He wants a real man not some butch queen stunt like you. B***H, C-world lunges at Mookie in an attempt to fight.. Dekalb aims at me and tries to punch me in the face. I sit in the corner with my hand over my face. Walmart sits in the corner and screams you b***hes are fighting over a man that wants none of you, he wants ME.. I got the best a**, the best head, and I look the best. Besides that he is paying for my phone, car, and paying my rent. Why don’t all of you tired Late A** bottoms sit the F**K down and shut up. Walmart runs over to me and sits on my Lap. (In the Audience, Cash is smiling and texting me asking me What the hell is going on, Dalilbbrown is saying Uh hnmmmm, TooRoyal is adjusting reading glasses and perching her lips, and Keisha stands up to say something) In comes………………?? (who is it?)

I HATE GAY PEOPLE!! Can you believe this statement from Tim Hardaway. He is probably one of the main ones getting pounded.. I believe that is it a gay person in every aspect of life INCLUDING athletes and royal families (HORD). I mean look at all that’s been coming out of closets. Senators and Congressman. GAY people are no different then anyone else… WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? Stupid CUNT!

Next on as the blog turns

2007-02-13T13:04:00.000-06:00

Well I was going to write a blog yesterday but I just wasn’t feeling yesterday seeing as tho I didn’t want to get up nor did I want to leave my house. I got up took my time getting to the shower and then sat on the edge of my bed as if I didn’t have somewhere to be. I sat and procrastinated for like 50mins before I finally Left out my house at 7:37 and had to be at work in 23mins. Prior to walking out I knew that I had a car covered with snow and that the commute would be longer but I didn’t care. Tell me why I made it to work on time and I live at least 30-40mins from my job especially in harsh conditions and rush hour..
This morning was bad.. It took me about an hour to get to work with all the snow on the ground.. I’ll tell you.. LAKE Shore Drive ain’t the place to be in the snow. So I pull in front of the agency and everyone is stuck on the street lined up like they are in some kind of funeral processional. I keep driving and double back because I said if we cant get it then I’m doubling back on to the Crib.. Finally they were getting in… I didn’t get into my job until about 8:20… too bad for them cause they have thrown off my whole work schedule and the chances of me doing anything are slim to none. HELLO 360 and Blogspot.
Soap Opera
Next on as the Blog Turns……
I’m here to confess that I am sleeping with my babies daddy best friend. We have been seeing one another since ATL. I like him cause he is cute and thick and mild mannered and a Freak like me. The sex is great and we have the connection. We have been keeping it under wraps but now we’ve decided we want to be together. My baby daddy confronted me about it last night and I blew him off… My other baby daddy called me out on it….
I’m also here to confess to the both of them… that I also been sleeping with my friend. We had been having sexual tension and we decided to act upon it. He helps me out when I need him. (CRIES)…..
Out comes Mookie, Dekalb, Walmart and Baby Daddy C-world(name changed due to confidentiality)…
Now on to something other than my life.. Is smoking socially acceptable? Personally I HATE the smell of it.. I hate when it gets in my clothes and hair. I hate for people to do around me because it causes me to wheeze and choke. But I was having a discussion with ROI and he told me smoking is socially acceptable and clearly I disagree with him because Smoking is only acceptable amongst those that smoke. He said that people would rather go to a Popping club that allows smokers than to one that was popping and didn’t allow smoking? What you think 360?

I wish I would

2007-02-08T13:03:00.000-06:00

I did manage to press my way out to work this morning, one part of me regrets it and another part of me says you don't need to waste your sick days. But I will tell you this flu aint no muthafucking JOKE.. One minute im hot the next freezing cold and the sweats.. GOOD LORD..
But im sure everyone has heard about the psycho Astronaut bitch we have wasted money sending up into space. Didn't the man tell this stupid bitch, whats goes on in space stays up in space especially if it has nothing to do with work. It must have been some good ass dick that got her coming down here acting a fool. Aint no dick worth your career and shit, now this bitch done lost her job and can never work as a astronaut again. I hope her student loans and shit are paid off. LOL Imagine up in space fucking and bouncing. Its not like they could land and sit still. Did I mention she was white and crazy. She put on a damn diaper imagine shitting and pissing in the same diaper for hours. What about when she had to get gas? She couldnt use it then.. this hoe is crazy. This hoe was pulling stunts to be with this man, not only did she leave her children and own husband behind this hoe had weapons of mass destruction. She had pepper Spray, a taser, shank, and who knows else. Black people dont need all that!
I was I would put on a diaper and drive clear across the country to go confront someone elses LOVER cause I wanted them. See us black people write emails, send text, and call bitches and tell them we gone fuck them up. The Black woman dont want to break their nails or fuck up their hair so they send the world out by other means and say "you better hope I dont run into you else im fuck you up". The Children, hell they aint trying to mess up their pumps and shit or they're fresh hair due and holln, GIRL, Bitch he can have em. The dick was TRASH anyway.
Personally, I woulda called and said you can have HIM gurl.. I dont want him.. LOL..

Feb 7

2007-02-07T13:02:00.000-06:00

Im not feeling the best and I have not been feeling good since I woke up Monday morning for work. So I didnt go to work and I think TooRoyal, Louis, and Carbondale were grateful cause they got to sleep longer. Then I took my happy go lucky to ass to work Tuesday only to be sick and slept 3/4 of my 8 hours I was there. LOL. Then I woke up this morning feeling shitty once again so I stayed in bed. The Nerve of some Sales Man, they are so low GRADE. Well I been pricing addtl extended warranties for my NEW car and this one guy told me he didnt understand and I was Simply put "STUPID" for not accepting his offer. I felt the Twin rolling out but since I was ILL I didnt say much and told I cant do business with you and hung up. THE NERVE! Since my head is starting to spin again which means its time to lay it down.. Ill end it here..

Randomness and Sex

2007-02-04T12:59:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I reached my 2 year mark at my company and I was happy to say to say I survived micro-managing, attitudes, spur of the moment things, and Director mood regulations and such. LOL.. I didnt find out if I had the job or not but I was told I would find out either way.
My Allergies are giving me hell! Damn, I didnt know you got them in january and february.
I got my new TV yesterday and its gone go back to the store within 14 days. LOL
Well I was speaking to my friend in California yesterday and we talked about my my most FAVORITE subject which is SEX. LOL! He and his lover of 4 years have many problems with their sex life. My guy states his LOVER uses sex as a bargaining tool. WTF??? How do you bargain sex? Thats purely absurd! I told him that more than likely his lover is CHEATING and when he has been intimate with whoever he is cheating with, thats why he denies him sex? Is it morally right to deny your partner sex all the time? I mean I would be pissed off if a LOVER of mine did it to me because thats purely BULLSHIT. I wouldnt get in a relationship willingly knowing that if I wanted to have sex that I would have to wait until maybe a week later? One of the 5 main reasons with sex being 3 on the priority list is SEX and having the security of knowing that you are intimately involved with just that ONE person. So I was talking to him this morning and he told me that his LOVER said that they could only have sex Thurs-Sunday and was not willing to negotiate the days.. WTF?? I thought, first he denies sex and then he wants to put a cap on the number and days you can make love? SO what if he doesnt feel like it on those days? What does it sound like to you? I began to question about the other supports that are GIVEN? NONE, so you know what I told him? I SAID DROP HIM! You be lonely by yourself! SO 360 what advice can you give my friend?

Selling yourself short!

2007-01-29T15:31:00.000-06:00

I went to church on yesterday and much to my surprise I noticed the back of someone’s head that I used to know. So I kind of leaned over to the side to see who it was, and LORD it was the person. All different kinds of emotions began to run through my body. My initial emotion was HATE and vengeance for the things the person had done to me then it subsided into joy and Peace. I no longer had those ill feelings and I began to feel GOD working in me. See I went to church 1. Cause my heart was heavy 2. I was battling spiritual warfare and seemed to be losing the fight 3. I have a lot of hate in my heart 4. I had not been in a long. All of that is a lot to weigh down on one person. But before I clocked out I know I needed to get it in gear. GOD was breaking me down and stripping me of all the worldly things that I love and making them more difficult to replace. How Could I turn my back on GOD when he wakes me up, takes care of me, and keeps me out of harms way.
I was having a discussion with one of my friends and he goes on to tell me that I think I am better than everyone else because 1. I won’t settle for less 2. I only buy the best of things 3. Cause I look down of people on who I think I are beneath me, and the list goes on. When that was told to me I began to feel bad because maybe I do look down on people and look at them like their the scum of the earth.
I’ll say this one thing about me. I LIKE WHAT I LIKE and I seldom differentiate from such. Secondly, I had to talk to some other people who think like I do. Simply put its jealousy, because people should be happy for you. Now I’m being hated on because I wont go out and buy a 1993 GMC Safari or a 1994 Chevy Astro Van. Or maybe I should buy a 1996 Ford Winstar. GUESS what? It ain’t gone happen. I was created and I’m destined for GREATNESS and thats what I will have. Why should I settle for less and belittle myself on someone else’s account. This statement here just made me cringe, “why do you have to have a foreign car with heated leather seats and wood grain?” My initial response was going to be, WHY IN THE HELL NOT? But I didn’t say it. I am not going to lower myself to suite anyone else’s needs. I like what I like. Besides if I lower myself and my standards then I am sinking down to a lower status. I will not lower myself, I will not set low standards for myself, NO I will not buy an old car, no I will not buy expensive things for myself. I just wont settle and I don’t expect anyone to want me too. Each and everyone one of my friends have Newer cars with Cash’s car being the newest with the LOWEST miles because he doesn’t drive it. LOL. I guess my friends think they are better than everyone too… GUESS WHAT! I guess were that way…So TooRoyal, Cash, DaLilBBROWN, Keisha.. I guess we’re grand.. But we’re happy. If you have to spend your money then you might as well be happy spending it on what you have to pay for. Me, my new car which I will get very soon (I’m still shopping) will have LEATHER, SUNROOF, WOOD GRAIN, BLUETOOTH and every other available feature just the way I love it. I got a friend who bought a NEW Car and he pays a pretty penny for it but sometimes he is not happy with it because it lacks other things that he wants. So that’s a case of spending your money and not being happy. This same person suggested to me that I buy a lil beater for now and then trade it in. Whats the point? I’ll be further upset down in the end.
The point of this blog is to say that BE HAPPY if you got to spend your money and don’t settle for less.

Heaven Knows

2007-01-28T12:09:00.000-06:00

I don't know if it is my nerves or what, but my diet has gotten out of control. I have been doing well since the New year hit with not eating junk food and meat. Since Thursday my nerves must have been bad cause I been eating cookies, cakes and candy. Then I had me a Big Mac and a small rib tip, which I will add was EXCELLENT. I'm going get it back together because on tomorrow I will get back to my strict diet. on Thursday evening me and my granny went car shopping to get my new car. I found a car that I liked, but I didn't like the color so I didn't get it. I want the 2007 Toyota Camry but its so hard to find a SE V6 in white.

Friday- My dilemma was trying to figure out the best option for me. I found 2 2002 Toyota Camry's that were $15,900 a piece and both had on 55k miles on them. I was looking at the year and its already 6 years and then when I am done paying for it, it will be 11 years old. I can't see myself paying 3-4 hundred a month on an old ass car. Besides that, It will have about 300k miles on it. On Average I drive about 25k a year and its purely ridiculous. So Friday night I went car shopping in search of my car. I went to one lot and walked around and walked through the inside, GUESS WHAT? No one asked me did I need some help... So finally I walked to another part and the finance manager got me a sales man. I let him explain the car to me, and then SAID NO I would rather not deal with a business that does not greet its customers for whatever reason. Finally, I found the white one, and I was ready to do business and do you know that wanted me to put down 9thousand dollars for a car and still have a $900 car note. Are they fucking mad? So then i told him the amount of money and the most i wanted to pay monthly was $450 and that included an extended warranty, Gap Ins, term life insurance, and auto-guard protection for my car. Well he kept talking that foolery, and the note would have been $520. Then he asked me did I have a co-signer. WTF??? I immediately started packing my shit up, hell I ain't had a co-signer on shit since I bought my first car in 2000. Hell i make well over 3????k a year and when in the fuck should I need a cosigner on a $28k car. I almost went off on him because I have not missed a car note on any car I've had in the last 7 years but I GUESS it ain't his fault. I just take my coins elsewhere.

Saturday- I went to a baby shower, Normally I dont do these but i would rather not be cursed out. It was a good shower with lots of food and people.. No men of course except the babies daddy and his TRADE crew of friends. Only one of them was attractive, but he seemed a little slow. Slowly, the DYKE'S started rolling in and LORD, were these some big burly ass woman. Then it was this lady was so cute and then and had that hair laid. I was cool until she SPOKE. "What up Rena" I swung around so fast that my hair hit me in the face. Out of the little body was this BARITONE VOICE! YES, her voice was much deeper than mine. LOL.... I was done. I just kept smiling but I wanted to burst out in laughter. I continued to sit there and I saw this tall big black FIGURE enter the room.. This GIRL was so black... that all I saw was her pink scarf but she had the most beautiful skin in the world. i wanted to ask her was she a ZULU princess. I didn't cause she could probably kick my ass. LOL

Its Sunday and My Halo needs recharging.. LOL... I'm sitting here getting ready for church.

People

2007-01-25T12:06:00.000-06:00

I am feeling a certain type of way about our people and over the next few weeks or so I will post my rants in my blogs.
Last night when I was sleep I had a dream that was off the chain. Well it started like this I went for my job interview today and one of my friends was there. He is not one of my close friends but he is in my Friendship Circle. They put the both of us in a back room. My friend began to express his desiring LOVE for me and how he wanted me to be inside of him. LOL... Next thing I know he began to strip and tell me how hot he was. I just laughed and told him to put on HIS Damn Clothes for neither of us got the job. He went on and on.. So I checked out his Lil Chocolate round body and told him to come and see me later and then I would scratch his itch for him because Quiet as Kept I've wanted him too.. LOL... Do you know I was sweating bullets in my sleep and had to get up at 4 o'clock in the morning and open my window. LOL
Well this morning, I went on my job Interview for A HIGHER PAYING position. I was really tense when I went to the Interview and it was like I had a lump in my throat that wouldnt go down. I kept trying to swallow but it wouldnt go away. So I went in and Immediately I was told you have an impressive Resume for a young person and you have done alot. Shit, I thought it was crap. The interview went really well and she told me how impressed she was with me as a person and how I answered all of her questions with the answers that she wanted. Also, that she loved the LEADERSHIP skills I possessed. I was told that you are pretty wise for someone your age and that you THANK your grandma on my behalf for bringing up a strong man. Im Proud.. I will know by Wednesday if I got the job because there were 3 other candidates that we're equally as qualified. Ultimately, its not her decision and it is up to the Director. So Pray for me and WISH me luck.
Now on to my rant, why is that black people steadily do things to further dig themselves down in the DIRT!~ I look at my people men and woman who have the tattoos up the back of their necks and all down on their hands. That is so unprofessional and where in corporate America are they going to get hired. Im not passing judgement on anyone because I have a tattoo on my forearm but when I go to an interview it can be covered with a shirt and no one will ever see it until after im hired. Personally if I was the interviewer, that would be an immediate dismissal. Next, the black people and the many noticeable piercing they have on their faces. I dont understand why people feel that they're piercings are more important than money. Damnit, if your going to a job interview take that shit out. No one is going to hire you. It clearly shows where their priorities are in relation to getting ahead in life or staying behind. I call these people LOW GRADE, LOW BUDGET, CLASSLESS INDIVIDUALS because some of the things you can do is the cause of you not having a job. These are the same people that holler that "the man" is holding them back. NO Jackass, your the cause of you not getting a good paying job. I just want these people to take time to think about the things that are already against them. 1. They're Black 2. Sex- They are intimidated by us 3. Orientation- your gay, so now you are being discriminated on for 2 reasons. 4. Records- alot of us have some kind of record 5. THE BULLSHIT. Think about it! Im done venting.

GOD WILL

2007-01-24T12:04:00.000-06:00

You know many of you have heard that old saying that GOD helps those who helps themselves.
Well I thought it was time for me to help myself. I updated my resume and began to send it out to companies and to other sites within my company for promotion. Well Im glad to say I have an interview for tommorow for a position that pays more coins but not enough. Wish me luck!
I notice that everyone wants a change in their lives but do nothing to make a change. They sit around and complain but never want to do anything. I hate it! No where in the bible or in History does it say because your parents were low lifes that you have to be one. NO where does it say that because you have to be on welfare cause your parents were. Now it does go without saying that people need to take care of themselves and make the best of life. LIFE is what you make it, and if you want it to go bad then it will.. Im a living witness and coming from where I come from..... THATS A whole nother blog in itself...

DST CORONATION

2007-01-24T12:01:00.000-06:00

Sorry it took me so long to get this finished, hell with school, working 2 jobs, and what little social life I have I have been avoiding it. But since its early in the morning I will just gone and a head and end out the saga.
Well we finally got up on Sunday Morning to do what we planned to do and that was celebrating Dr. MLK Jr’s Birthday. We all got up and got dressed while waiting for me and Cash’s friends. It took them forever seemed like eternity. Finally they arrived and we proceeded down stairs to only walk into what looks a Bunch of Big Burly Men dressed in their Delta Sigma Theta Garments and Pens. Now as much as I love the Ladies of DST, I couldn’t fathom the idea of OOOOOOPPPPPS to the Big Burly Men Of Delta Sigma Theta. You would think that it was a real event the way they were dressed and the amounts of people who were out there. Well we pressed our ways through the crowd probably to be stared down as if we were nothing. I clearly didn’t even look back because I was not going to fight with any of them because I know I am quick at the mouth and I would say something and I didn’t have my piece on me. It was so many of them out that they started calling the real Greeks out there. Well when my sugar came back up from being RAN LOWER than ever we pressed our way to the MLK Historical District. In all the times I have been to ATL I never been to this site. I found all of this to be interesting and I plan to go back. After this we met up with Cayos one of my friends from Chicago and then we went to the Underground and to Cowtippers, where the whole table ordered Cajun Chicken Pasta and that shit was HOTT.... It got me right together. After that we took a mad dash for Piedmont Park, the ATL park of the GAYS. We didn’t see any meeting and greeting but it was cool to take a nice walk. After this we went back to the hotel. Then me an Dat went to see some strippers that I didn’t care to much so I went back to car and went to sleep. We then journeyed back to Illinois and back to our respective cities to be greeted by the snow and ice. This is the end.

Bloggers Meet and GREET

2007-01-18T11:52:00.000-06:00

I forgot to mention the Child that got out of her truck with her Full Beard and mustache connected. We he had on a a big white sun hat, a lime green shirt, white flip flops, and some white capris. He marched through the parking lot with his entourage. I guess we were having some kind of AKA convention. It was just to much for me. S0 we got up Saturday morning and starting getting ready for the day we had planned. Then we get in the car and TOOROYAL is driving once again. He was driving and their was no exit ramp for us so we had to drive along and look for another EXIT. We get off and tell me why he is doing U turn on the Exit ramps.. LOL... He was trying to kill us. Once again me and Cash had to clutch our seat belts. So then we proceeded to go back to the exit ramp for Atlantic Station for the meet and greet. Hell it took us about 15 or more minutes to get off the ramp and then another 15 mins to the Fox Grill. I was greeted by the bloggers and waited for more to come.. In my mind I was analyzing the people standing around me. Uhmmmmm was running through. So we proceed in and go to sit down.

After the meeting we walked around the Atlantic to watch trade and etc. We then met up with Beatiqueen and went to The Lenox Mall. This is where you could find any type of fag you want: Trade, Queen, Butch Queen, Fem Queen, Fag, Sissy, Bottom, top, and all of the above. They were running that mall like they ran it and running me low at the same time. This one FAG, had on his low rider jeans, Pumps, and a Nice Big pocketbook to carry on his arm. Then we went back to the Hotel and stumbled upon The ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA Convention, Coronation ball, and Line Crossing. I walked in the building to everyone dressed in Pink and Green. I wanted to say Skiiiiiiiii Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee my sorors! I couldnt believe it! So then we went back up to the room and then we went to Bulldogs but me and datsexynig didnt go in because the line was wrapped around the parking lot. So then went to the HYPE! I saw strippers but Dat sexy was mesmorized by them.. he was pulling out his coins and feeling on things with them. I aint interested in No Cock so I wasnt impressed. But the highlight of my night was when I saw T-Malone from Enrique Cruz Movies, I would have never imagined him to be such a FAG but the way he was pooching all around the club showed me different. I don't know why I am shocked from him taking all the dicks that he takes in the movies. Then Alex from Noah's was there and I got geeked so I extended my hand and he shook it. After that we went to Ihop and was greeted by one of the Old Kids named Frederick. Frederick was letting us have it full time. He is quite the lady with his permed spiked hair, French Tips, beat Mug, and the blouse he was wearing. I could barely look at him especially not at 6 o'clock in the morning. So then I went to meet my Friend we'll call N.Carolina. It was so late I ended up spending the 3 hours in there sleep in his chair.... Stay Tuned for the REST tommorow morning.

Martin Luther King Jr Weekend

2007-01-18T10:44:00.000-06:00

My Thursday started off very stressful because I had so much to do and so little time. Well I got up and went to work because I had an important meeting that I couldn’t miss. I wanted to leave early but I had not one good excuse to leave. So instead I sat at my desk and worked on my homework and paper. 4p rolled around and I ran out the door to my ride and PUNCHED it home and was there by 4:15p and I live 30m away. Thoughts ran through my mind about what I had to do: Pack, paper, sleep and clean. I got in the house and then my sister wanted to start playing redecorate the house, so I quickly changed the living room around and I started packing my things off of the checklist that I wrote at work. Then I sat down to write the rest of paper. Why does it always happen like this? I couldn’t find the sources, and then I couldn’t find the right words to end it out. Then I saved it to the computer and it got lost some how. I wanted to FUCKING SCREAM and rip each and every last Dred out of my head. So I finally found it and emailed it to my professor. By then it was 8:50p and I needed to get going within the next hour. So I hoped in the tub and soaked until it was time for me to get going… I scooped up Cash and Granny and then picked up this SEXY ASS 07 Toyota Avalon of course after me and Cash argued about which one we wanted. We then scooped Datsexynig and TOOROYAL.

I drove all the way to Nashville and couldn’t take it anymore. I was seeing shit like GHOSTS and Ghouls. I was like its Daylight and these bitches have slept long enough so I made TOOROYAL take the wheel. I went to sleep and then I woke up cause I felt the car jerk and then I woke up to this Avalon on 2 wheels tearing up through LOOK OUT Mountain.. LOL. All I remember is Me and Cash Clutching our seat belts and me yelling “Slow this muthafucker Down, you ain’t about to kill me.” Ok he slowed for a few and then I woke up to him chasing a 300C talking about it’s the kids and then him playing with the Trade in the Lexus. If I could have had a video to show you how we were flying past cars and darting in and out of traffic.. Finally, we arrived at the Microtel Inn.. Shit I got out shaking and shit. LOL. We were greeted by the Kids getting out of their rentals, looking out the windows, and standing outside. We all went upstairs and got on our laptops. I got on mine for school and everyone else got on theirs to check A4A, BGC, and 360. Since everyone else was on it I logged into my accounts. We then hit the streets to greet the kids Chi-town style. Then we went to this hole in the wall ass club called TOWER. Now clearly the fire the dept said 182 max in the club at once but as I was steadily being pressed against the wall. As soon I met Mississippi I rolled out of the club to meet Sebring a stunt queen from ATL. Needless to say I could tell what he was on. Clearly, I thought I made it clear that I was not looking for sex but it must be what he wanted.. We went back to the hotel and slept til Saturday… I’ll finish the rest in a lil bit… STAY TUNED

Reality

2007-01-09T09:39:00.000-06:00

As we all Know I aint of a TV person but last night I did partake in viewing 2 new REALITY shows that come on cable television. The First is Gay, Straight, and Taken which airs on Lifetime. I watched it and I enjoyed it but the whole time I was saying to myself WhyTF do they waste money on stupid shit like this when people are homeless and starving. Im sitting here struggling pay check to pay check and these fuckers are wasting millions of dollars on a stupid ass dating show. Now, the inner fag loved the show and GUESS what suprisingly I was totally wrong about both the guys.

Next was "I love New York." Her fucking mother looks like a FUCKING HORSE whose dressed up in drag. Whatever man that was fucking her must've been drunk cause that bitch is ugly. OMG, I cant stand that bitch just like I dont like her SLUTTY ass daughter. The bitch is ignorant and indignant. Now those were some PHOINE ass brothers on there especially WOOD. Im glad she dismissed him so I can go find him now and make him... LOL... I couldnt believe she kept that ignorant ass CHANCE... She likes a hood boy I guess. See now I remember why I started dating boys now... The girls didnt like me cause I was not HOOD ENOUGH and I wasnt beating their asses and talking to them bad.... Why dont they like a normal grandma's boy?

I dont like people who judge others as if they are better than the next? What makes you better than the next? Does your sin take presidence over mine? Is not a sin a sin... Before you cast the first think about what your doing and make sure you sweep around your own front down before you try to sweep around mine. Over the last couple weeks or so people have been telling me what I should be doing and what I shouldnt. How I should do this and other things. This is one thing I dont like about Black People they are quick to correct you and they either doing the same, something equally as bad, or dont have their shit in order.... I cant stand it... The next person that does it to me is going to get a READING of their lifetime..

My Weekend

2007-01-08T13:10:00.000-06:00

My weekend started off differently than it has in a long time. Usually my friday night are spent with Cash and Dalilbbrown and we would get something to eat, drinks, and watch movies. Well they would watch them and I would sleep through them. LOL.. But it was spent working on some more school work that I had intended to do. Early Saturday morning I got up and went to look at some cars. LORD, I never realized that cars are so expensive. I went to VW dealer to look at the Toureq, I knew then that I didnt want one because it was a brand new one on the lot and it was all apart and he was telling me nothing was wrong with it. Ok, sure. Then I ran up to Aurora to take some stuff back and get the money back on my card. Then I went to a couple more dealers to look at the Camry and the 4 Runner. Damn, does anyone drive 6 cylinders anymore? At the VW dealer they didnt have one 6 cylinder in the Passat and do you believe he tried to show me a Jetta? I was appalled. Then I went to the other lots and it just seems to be impossible to find these new cars with a V6, leather, sunroof, and all the immenities. I test drove a 4 Runner and absolutely loved the truck but it was so plain. From the looks of things Im going to end up going to the dealer and ordering me a Camry with everything I want on it. Later that evening I did my PPT for my class and Sunday followed suite doing the same thing. I am tired today and cant to get off and go home and start working on the 2 papers I need to have complete before I leave town for ATLANTA on Thursday? Who all will be there again?

Kicking My Ass

2007-01-05T10:50:00.000-06:00

I am thankful to be in the land of living on today. I brought the New Year with a bang and spent it with some of those whom I love dearly: My Brother and sister, Cash, King Louis, and Dalilbbrown and my sisters friend. They conned me into having a last minute get together and we had a blast. I forgot to add one resolution and that is being NICE to everyone I encounter even those that lack respect. I know this will be one bitter hard struggle. All im going to say is working and school is kicking my Royal Black Ass. God I thought I would be able to work 2 jobs, have a social life, and have time for school. My friends you guys know that I love you but Papa has got work to do and it must be done if I want my 4.0. Oh yeah, so far from the work I have already completed I have a 100% in my class and I am not looking forward to getting anything less than a 99 in the class which is still an A. Getting this A has many benefits, it has reduced car insurance and it makes my family proud. LOL. I am not gone sit hear and lie and say im not tired.. Cause i feel like ive been through the fire and through the FLOOD.. After I left my 2nd job, I went home and had some work that had to be in by midnight(moutain standard time) and after that I crashed and was out in 10mins max. I think another reason its dragging me down is because I have been out of school for a while and it all seems foreign to me. LOL.. Damn APA formatted papers. WTF! But as far as this weekend is concerned it will be spent finishing Projects, typing 2 ten page papers that are due next week. If I dont do them I wont enjoy my trip to ATL next week because ill be stuck in the hotel room typing papers and shit.. Which I aint gone do... Also, I got to take some stuff back to the store so Ill have money to have a great time in the ATL. Car Shopping is in order as well. Tell me what you think about these cars.

Resolutions and Such

2006-12-31T16:02:00.000-06:00

I FIRST WANT TO WISH OF ALL YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR! Wow, I know I have not written a blog in about 2 or 3 weeks but I did not have the energy to do so. Then my school wanted to start this one class early and get it over with so I have also been taking this one class so I get done earlier. During all of this I have to say that I have some truly wonderful friends... Special thanks to my close friends: KING LOUIS, Tooroyal, Cash, Dalilbbrown, Debbie, Ms. Kornbread, Charlie, Datsexynig,longshot, and suburbanboi and 360 friends: Daryl, Will, Identity Warfare, and the rest of yall. You guys have been there for me to encourage me and keep lifted up.
My Christmas HOLIDAY was GREAT! I got basically everything I wanted plus some... Damn, I got 5 old navy gifts cards, other gift cards,shirts, underware, and other stuff. I have not done much but chill. Yesterday I went out of town to bury my cousin and then I realized then my Grandma just needs someone to talk to. We talked all the way there and back, I never realized what good friends we are. Its funny how your here one day and gone the next. I have lost 2 loved ones in the short 2 weeks ive been gone off 360. I lost one cousin and we buried him Saturday before last and then the next Saturday his son died and the following we buried him. Its sad!
Now I must go and finish scrubbing this house cause my Granny always taught me to never bring the NEW Year in with a Dirty house. Besides alll my friends are coming over for this party I didnt know I was having. Before the new year begins, I must purge myself of all the things that held me back. All of the people who are no good in my life. I must now leave those things in 2006 and incorporate and new and positive people in my life.
In 2007 my goals include :
a. Getting a 4.0 in school
b. Getting a new car
c. Buying some property
d. Staying more active in the gym and doing what my personal trainer tells me to do
e. Living my life to its fullest since when I die, I cant enjoy it anymore
f. spending as much time with my family and friends as I can.
What are some of things you want to work on for the NEW YEAR

On Another Note!

2006-12-15T10:53:00.000-06:00

Im the one with the problem, I see it. IM CRAZY. Im crazy for loving others and didnt get loved back. Im crazy for treating others like royalty only to be turned around and shitted on. Here I took care of this man. I cooked and I cleaned up after him. I washed his clothes, I woke him up in the morning and helped with schoolwork. I'm crazy for not leaving a long time ago. Surely someone would else have appreciated me more or maybe I would have been fine being myself. LOVE IS REAL and I will never lose the real love I ever had. Love in my own definition is the deep feelings for someone and you connect spiritually. Love is intimacy, love is life, love is focus and attention. LOVE HURTS and it makes you do crazy things. Like I said im crazy for loving someone that didnt love and respect me back.

The question keeps surfacing why did yall break up? Well i was accused of being addicted to sex and cheating with my best friend. WTF? I will tell everyone I am not addicted to sex nor did I cheat with my best friend and I will not go into detail cause I am not out here to make him seem like a bad person.

On another note, I was accepted into Graduate school and will begin classes on Next semester for my MHA(Masters in Health Administration). I should have been done with it but I didnt go to school directly after completing undergrad. Also, my PT job is giving me clients again so I will be quite busy and wont have time to think about what aint going right in my life. Ill be pretty busy this weekend with Me having to go shopping, getting my hair retwisted, a funeral, Dalilbbrown Birthday Lunch and then my jobs christmas party where I will more than likely be sloppy drunk off my ass.. LOL... Pray for me.

whats been up in my world

2006-12-13T10:40:00.000-06:00

Nothing much has changed im still pretty much depressed and now im sulking. To further agitate my depression my BF kicked my ass to the fucking curb! WOW! I aint gone lie I was upset and angry at the same time but me being who I am would not let anyone know that I was hurt. Deep down inside. I wanted to fall out and scream because I love him. I LOVE HIM DEARLY. I never meant to hurt him in whatever way I did but I wanted him to appreciate me for being who I was to him. I wanted to feel loved and wanted and he couldnt do it. I considered myself to be a good man, but he saw differently. I never once cheated on him because my love for him wouldnt let and I learned to cope with our problems. But maybe its what I truly wanted because at times I felt crowded and other times I felt used. I ran him away with my attitudes and the chatting with various people on adam4adam which was nothing but pure entertainment for me. I never once met anyone off there nor have I done anything with anyone. Most of my attitudes was because I wanted love, affection, intimacy, and attention from him. Now I sit here and sulk in my own self pity. It has put me into a state of withdrawal and bitterness. I keep my phone powered off 85% of the time now. Hell I havent talked to my best friends "The Royal Family." Cash and Dalilbbrown came to kick down my down cause I wouldnt let them in. You would think that by me hiding my car and not answering the door they would go away and let me drink my bacardi in peace. No, they beat on the windows, rang the doorbell, knocked on the door and talked outside my door, "open the door, we know you in there." Finally I opened it and they finished decorating my tree and took me to get something to eat.
Ive been going through separation anxiety from him not being there. Life has been different with him not laying in bed with me at night kicking me and leaving the tv on at night waking me up. I dont get up in the morning and when I get out the shower saying "babe get up, its time for work or come on before we're late for work. No one is helping me to bring in my groceries or bring in the laundry after I did it. No one is helping me to decide whats for dinner. Its all different for me since I had became acclamated to him being there quite often. LIFE GOES ON I know but it hurts now. As of today we have not spoken in 5 days. I can say I have grown up cause the old me would have jumped on the opportunity to FUCK all the boys down in Chicago but suprisingly I havent and I have not touched adam4adam since he has been gone. Next time im online at home I might as well delete it since all people want to do is have me to come and FUCK their brains out anyway.
Thanks for the hugs and words of encouragement during this tough time. I'm better and im alive. I just been planning and trying to negotiate rental car prices between the companies. They are fuckin crazy thinking some wants to pay $5o0 dollar for a fucking weekend. Hell I can get a flight, room, and rental for that much. And All of them are stunts. Ill keep looking until its time for us to leave. Me and Cash are leaving Chicago on the 11th to get to Tooroyal and Datsexynig and we should arrive early Friday morning.

Persecution

2006-12-01T10:03:00.000-06:00

Today is world AIDS Day, and I would like to commemorate part of my blog to those who have lost their lives to the disease and to people who battle with it today. Personally I lost a cousin to it about 5 years ago and she was not GAY so it goes to show you that AIDS does not see a Sex, An Orientation, Race, or person when it strikes it strikes simple as that. I know a few people living with the disease now and it doesnt change the way I feel about them as a person in fact I love them more. I guess it to much more to say than TO PROTECT YOURSELF, WRAP IT UP, and have regular screenings.

I have been accused of Persecution and once again I am hear to stand trial and the bloggers are the jury. Your Honor, what are the charges? Persecution! Your honor persecution is defined as the constant mistreatment of a person by another person. I have not done such a thing. I have only defended myself(rolls to several blog comments). As I present my evidence to you and the jury I want you to hear me out and show you that I did everything in my power to be left alone. What is a man to do when he is feeling threatened? Just as you trap anything living and moving organism in a corner, they will strike and attack. Your honor The Plantiff have persecuted have many times have attempted to persecute me, destroy me, slander, alienate and tare me down to nothing. I have been scorned, harrassed, and is they could probably beat me. I dont suffer from low self esteem thats why I have been able withstand without breaking. Yet in still Your honor this person portrays themselve to be the victim when in all actuallity they are the Victor who comes like a Corporate theif or the Grinch to still others joy with his negative comments and ways. Your honor, being that I am human and I have my short comings.. Overall I am a nice and wonderful person and anyone that has ever taking the time to get to know me can attest to it.

There are many causes of why people feel they are persecuted. Many of which were provoked by them. Why should a person be able to do what they want to someone? Why should a person be able to say what they want. (This part of the blog is OMMITTED, but if you want to know what it says hit me up)I am not here to slander anyone, press charges for false accusations, or file a motion for a restraining order against the said individual but to plead my case and prove to the courts that I am an innocent man. Bloggers you are the Jury how do I plead?

Do not feed Stray animals

2006-11-30T09:47:00.002-06:00

Quick thoughts out of the head of Maurice.............

"Never ask someone to make time for you, if you arent willing and trying to make time for them"

"He that desires friendship should present himself friendly"

"I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself" -Michel Montaigne

First off I really am not in the best of moods and its because of many different factors.. people, the weather, and my HORRIBLE sleeping patterns. Every night I have been waking up at like 3 or 4 either from someone waking me or I just get up. This is bad on my body when I go back to sleep and get up at 5:50 -6 o'clock. I am not an angry BLACK GAY MAN I spent my evening filling out my tree, LORD, I totally forgot what it was to put that tree together since the last time I put it up I was a freshman in College. Then I spent the remainder of the evening chatting and reading blogs. Then the thought came to my head as I was relaxing in my floor last night preparing for bed, why do we as people make time for others when they have no intention of making time for you. We as black GAY men have went through this many times. We give our all to have our feelings stomped on and trampled with like a Lion chasing its prey through the grasslands of Africa. I dont get it, so from now on I am not feeding into anyones else SHIT, I am going to worry about me cause I know I always have my own best interest at heart.

You ever heard that saying that if you feed a stray animal then they will always continue to come back to be fed. I found it to be true. When I was younger and if I had some fruit that was going bad or some bad that was becoming hard and moldy I would throw it out in the back yard for the birds and squirrels to come and get it. Once they realized that it stopped, they left because it wasnt there and they realized maybe that if they continued to sit there that maybe they would be eaten alive by the stray Cats.

Stop Feeding the FIELD Monkeys in your life people. I vowed earlier this week that closure from a lot of people in life was going BE Lived by before 2006 was over. Field monkeys are similiar to that of a porch monkey. Porch monkeys are the people who i call Black Trash, the ones who sit on porches and drink, and do nothing with their lives. Field moneys are people who are educated, but thrive on being bitches and assholes to society.
So Listed are the Monkeys in my life that I stopped feeding on Sunday.

1. The Captain(a.k.a Satan and Starbucks), after our short lived love affair, I noticed that any chance of us being friends was not going to happen. Foolishly I retaliated everytime he said something to me. Thats what he wanted because he knew I would give it to him. Even if he continues to be a thriving, desperate for attention human being I will not be feeding into his idiocracies any longer. I am grateful to have met him because he showed me that an educated fag is no better or saner than an uneducated Fag.

2. My Parents- who have never done anything for me but put undue stress on my life like THE CAPTAIN. I love them but the chances of us having a relationship aint gone work.

3. Stupid Fags- Once again The Captain falls into this catergory, I have no room for them in my life because Im better than that and on top of that... They really hold no real place in anyones life, probably not even in their own families life.

4. Its more to my list but those are the three main.
So with this said.. Its all erased!~

Friends or Fuck Buddies

2006-11-29T10:14:00.000-06:00

For the last week or so People have been telling me that I am very very flirtatious. AM I? I dont mind telling someone that I think that they are attractive or sending a smile on 360. I believe in giving people compliments. I look at people, but never do I go up and be trying to holla at people.
What does Im looking for friendship mean in this day and age? I guess not a darn thing and I got 2 scenarios to prove it means nothing. First instance, it is this guy at my church who is always I guess calling himself flirting with me. Non the less I aint even remotely interested in him and I called myself being nice by picking him for church cause he needed rides. Later I found out he is capable of catching the bus and he probably using the rides to get to see me or whatever. Over the last 3 weeks or so his behavior has gotten out of control. Talking about not caring that I got a man. He has met him on several occassions and he still dont care. I get text messages from him talking about what are you wearing? 0r when can I come over to you house? All texts usually end or start with the word SEXY? WTF, AM I sexy or is he trying to suduece me. And what are you going to do with me sexually? NOTHING AT ALL! I have learned to ignore his texts and stop picking him up for church, its just that simple. Or I'll start shooting daggers at him.
Then for friends purposes only, I created an a4a acct to find a friend I lost contact with and I found him finally. But in my search for him, people hit me up asking me how big am I? What do I look like? When were going to have sex? I find it very inappropriate to continuously try and push yourself on someone when they have made it clear that they are not interested in sex but friendship. Not only did I mention several times that I got a man. It dont matter. Is it either because they are Fucking stupid or they dont care. The profile is blank with nothing on it about setting up on something. I have no picture or no sexual position and still I get hit up by people all the time. Then what really blows me is the ones who say they top when they hit me up and then I be like not looking for anything but I am a top. Then they magically term into a verse or bottom. WTF? I have since learned how to click the ignore/block button for the stupid cunts that dont know how to read Big BOLD Black Lettering.

Randomness

2006-11-28T15:20:00.000-06:00

Well Sunday before church was over my Pastor called a meeting with all the men in the church after church. Im sittin there thinking what the hell could this be about.. I was hungry and sleepy and was ready to go. First order of business was the building we're moving into, which might I add im not to thrilled about. Then the MEAT, "We ARE MEN" Ok, I know that. Apparently a couple of the church fags were going on in there calling one another girl and what not and Pastor Snapped. I cant blame him. All I could do was sit there and smile cause it was hilarious. He said he was tired of the men switching, twirling, and acting like girls. LOL.."If you struggling with something Man up and be a man so you can get deliverance." LOL
I hate ungrateful people with a passion. They should just crust over and die or bust out in spontaneous combustion. I realized yesterday that I have an extreme dislike for one of my co-workers with a passion and he would be the one I would have pulled out in the grab bag. GOD this makes it difficult! What I dont like about him... He is a classless, good for nothing, low budget nigga. LOL.. YES I SAID LOW BUDGET. He walks on his TOES(pillow biter) around here in his colored contacts like his sh*t dont stank. I have never talked to him or anything like that. One day he called me a faggot or something like that because he asked me to go play basketball with him and I TOLD HIM HELL NO. So since then I have had nothing to do with the arrogant prick. Well yesterday he asked me for some of the VSOP or the Jack Daniels at my house. I just looked at him and told him NO. Why not? Cause I said so, and I dont want to share it with you. You on that bullshit! Naw you are. dont ask me for anything. You will never get as much as a drop of anything thats in my house so stopped asking. Man you selfish. NO YOUR STUPID dont talk to me, jackass. So today I just been shooting daggers at him with my eyes like I wish it was Satan and I was shooting crosses saturated in blessed oil.I woke up this morning in an already bad mood to be further pissed off which has affected my day. I hated almost everyone in the world and been snapping off all day. It took one message to cheer me up. "You are one of the people that I am truly thankful for coming into my life. You have been kind with your words and time. Words cannot express what your friendship and people like you have done to psyche. You have completed me when I thought I was lost and ready to give up on life. And I MUST THANK YOU FOR THAT!!!" and the fact that Ms. Kornbread is a nut I feel a better now.
My Christmas Wish List
Gifts Cards (Amoco, Wilsons, Walmart,Best Buy, Circuit City, Old Navy, Burlington Coat Factory,Sprint)
Messenger Bags (Kenneth Cole, Louis Vuitton, Wilsons Leather)
Stereo (gifts cards can help me buy this)
Clothes:Casual to hip hop (Pants 40-44 x 32, Shirts 2XL)
Boots and Shoes (Shoes 13,Timberlands 13, Dress Boots 13-14,Dress Shoes 13-14)
Cologne (Isi Miaki or Clinique)
Electronics(Tivo or DVRecorder)
Entertainment (Various DVDs, Kirk Franklin Cd, Various Gospel)
Misc (Wallet and Precise V5 pens)
LOLOL.. hey as long as I get something off the list Ill be happy.

I still got to say thank you

2006-11-27T10:12:00.000-06:00

Tho its another week and Thanksgiving have left I still got to say what I got to say. I had a long blog to write way before MY Grateful blog! But the events of the last 2 weeks have been enough to question your faith in GOD. I am thankful for them But as I would say during my trials and tribulations, LORD I THANK YOU for these and whatever else is to come. In these 2 weeks I met LONGSHOT, a wonderful guy. He suprised me by popping in Chicago so we had an evening on the town and had fun. Yall he is a GIANT.. he towered over me like Le Effiel Tower over the Sears Tower. LOL. Monday I dropped the car off at the shop, to be picked up by Enterprise. Well they tell me I need a credit card and my debit card would work but I had to have a check stub and 2 utility bills. WTF? I thought.. Just to rent a car. I dont have a Credit card for purposes of me not abusing my credit.. LOL.. I remember I was in college and I had a bill fold of any kind of credit card you could imagine.. ranging from Platinum Discover to GOLD VISA. Well guess what? Im still paying for them and the credit cards no longer exist. LOL... Then I had to ride the bus to my house, I was devasted.. I have not rode public trans in years and It was about to kill me. All the jiggaboos and low class, low budgets Negros on the bus. We cant people just get on the bus and act civilized, without all that low grade cursing and loud talking. So my sister was staying with me while she on the break and I was going to take the bus to work the next morning but she told me to take her car. FINE, I got to it and as Im walking down the street I see that it looks funny. INDEED, her window had been kicked out and the radio and dashboard I just had installed was gone. I heard the alarm going off all night long but I didnt have a clue that it was hers. Needless to say I was back on the bus. I dont see how 100 people can crowd on a bus everyday.. Not my thing. I called enterprise and told them I'd be to get a car after work and I had my Payroll Department, ATT, and My bank to fax me some info. I got the car.. I dont like American Cars at all.. I was devasted and Could not wait to get my car back.
For Thanksgiving, I was responsible for making some pies and the Mac & Cheese. I guess my Granny knows I am good at baking cakes, pies, and cookies.. LOL ! I spent it with my Maternal Grandparents, My Mom and her husband, my siblings, and the family Puppy. Hell the dog loved all of the food as much as we did. I got so much to be thankful for. I got my health and strength, as well a roof over my head, food, clothes, car, My Family and Friends.
My Mom- For Bringing me in this world, and leaving me to grow up on my own, it made me a better person. My Granny- For taking me in and raising me to be a man to the best of her ability. Her spoiling me may have been the only downfall, but overall I think she molded me into a good GOD fearing man. My Sibling- I hold them so dear to my heart.For allowing me to be a positive role model to them. I am GLAD to say they look up to me for everything and if they make any big decisions my imput is always wanted. Extended Family- For being there for us when we needed them most. Tho I am not to fond of many of them, I was always able to count on them when I needed them. MY GUY- for being the best BF ive ever had. HE gets on my last nerve, to the point where I want to strangle him but I couldnt imagine my life without him. I thank him for allowing me to be positive person in his life since he is the same age as my lil brother. LOL!
Friends
TooRoyal- ONLY the LORD knows how me and this man are good friends to this day. BUT I AM SO THANKFUL for him. We have been choir mates, roommates, enemies, Best Friends, Traveling Buddies, Best friends, you name we have been it. LOL... If I never knew what a Best friend was, I knew it after I met him. Mother D, helped me to come to terms with myself and Thats why I hate him.. LOL, Just kidding. He was young when I met him, but Wise and Immature for someone his age. LOL.. We used to do everything together and I think the worst heartache I experienced was when I graduated and I left him there. Even tho he was here like once a month, It was a loss I experienced. I am so glad to have him apart of my life.
Dalilbbrown- My son, I am thankful for him too. I first met him in the choir as well and more through TooRoyal. We have some good laughs and good times together. I have to give him a lil guidedance every once in a while but he is a cool guy.
Cash- Ive known him for years but it was not until 05 that we became good friends. He is a gemini like me and our personalities Conflict, but he is good peeps. He is my brother, my confidant, my club brother, and I love him to death.
Debbie- MY LOVE! My one and only true FAG HAG, she is crazy as hell but I dont think I would want her any other way. We used to do everything together. We shop til we drop, we sit and get drunk and talk about everyone. Initially when I met her GOD, placed her here for a reason.
Kimora- He is the newest to my circle of friends. But I love him as much I love the 3 of them. I remember I would see him on A4A and say to myself there is no way Im speaking to him. He is way to far Harsh and My feelings are fragile. Then one cold morning we were racing downtown and I was giving his Lexus hell since I had a smaller car and could jump in and out of traffic. Since then we have been the best of friends. We club and we talk, we im in my worst moods, he seems to be the only one to make me laugh and smile. ***GOLD PUMPS***
*********************** WHY ARE 3 of the 5 Cancers? ***************************
Then its my other blogger friends that I dont see all or talk to other times but we share times through our blogs: Riqqi(who dont deal with me any more ),PJ, Brooklyn Diva,Longshot, The Captain(even tho I dont understand his logic or him for the matter), Marz, Daryl, Identity Warfare,Will, Sweet Music Maka, Adonis(Ive known him for 10 years),Charlie and the REST of the BLOGOSPHERE. Hell I aint got enough time to remember all those.

Getting to know you!

2006-11-17T13:35:00.000-06:00

I consider myself pretty outgoing person and for the most part easily to get along with. I usually go out of my way to make conversation with people to make friends. Overall I think I think I make a lot of friends because of my outgoing, non shy, comical character. I crack jokes and laugh at others jokes... In the social setting I am quite the sociallite. I try to get to know people by all various means. Ive met some of my best friends from the net, from others, or out in the street. I dont have a problem making conversations with people.. including the wait staff at the restaurants I attend. I make sure I know them by them so I can address them as such. Hell I even met this one waiter cause I talked to him. SO.......
This morning I recieved a plethora of emailing "telling me about myself and what I dont do." I was accused of not trying to get know people and playing with peoples emotions. Also an email dissecting my blog yesterday which I could be facetious and post for the reading audience but I aint. HOW DO I PLEAD: NOT GUILTY! I can not be guilty as charged. This person as you all can guess.. Its the IGNORANT DIM WITTED JACK ASS from yesterday who is mad at the world and ME. I sent a few emails back and then I thought about it.. Im sinking down to be a dim witted jack ass myself which I know I aint. I deserve better than this and I have it. But since I am accused I must justify to get the NOT GUILTY verdict. We met around this last year and I would say it was the best 2 weeks of my life cause I was off work and I had a shawty, I thought they were feeling me.. CLEARLY NOT! Well after those weeks we had a series of discussions that lead to truths about us. A. they really didnt like me B. they didnt like my Hair and wanted to cut it off C. they had some secret to hide D. they are BIPOLAR as hell. All of this within 2 weeks and yet in still I was interested because I thought I was being pushed away because they didnt want to develop feelings. Around this time this is when the blog wars started and the constant back and forth started. Numerous times Ive tried to be friends because they said they wanted that from me. I would say lets go eat.. "NO unless your paying for me" Come over to my house..."NO I will not come where im not welcomed".. DIDNT I Just invite you. OR, me saying i'm/were going to be at this place and time care to join us. He wants to know who all is going to be there and then he sends a pathetic text saying I guess you really dont want me there. SIGH! I gave up yesterday so I responded to one of his emails saying, "SINCE I DECIDED I would not argue with you anymore yesterday... I will say this.. SAY what you want! SAY what you need! I know the truth and so do you. Shedding light on the situation... Ill stay in Chicago and you stay in (his hometown)... That way we dont have to cross paths at all. Since I was NEVER ALLOWED to see you in another light.. ILL KEEP IT LIKE THAT. AT AGE 25, people change and its usually for the better... I chose the Road to better and since im better than arguing with you Ill leave you be. All I ask in return is that you leave me be... We cant "BLAME" one another for anything if we dont exist... ACT as if I dont exist! PLEASE.. make it seem like you were told I went on home to GLORY! I am not going there with you anymore. I mean it, hell if he speaks death upon his life ill let him. I am better than this! He will forever be lonely he will forever because of his own behavior. I want to live and enjoy my life while Im still here. TOMMOROW aint promised to any of us. Since I dont plan on dying anytime soon.. I would like him to forget about me. Ive spent my last 12 months trying to get to know him and Be his FRIEND, all of which he dont deserve from me. So instead of putting 100 proof Vodka in my mouth and spitting it on him with fire blowing out of my Captains Morgan lighter. Ill leave him be like TOOROYAL said because I dont wish death upon anyone especially not me. And while I am finished writing this... I know I am and I deserve better than that! So like I emailed him "when you get it together as I said before.. Ill be here for you.... But if not Avoir!" Im done venting NOW!

What I oppose!

2006-11-16T16:00:00.000-06:00

Well this blog was originally going to be about Liars and I how HATE THEM! Then I wanted to discuss cheaters, and what is it that make people cheat. Then before I could get into my third hour of work... It became how I hate people who are so stupid and Imbeciles.. LOL.... So I decided to include all 3 in a short little blog.

LIARS- I dont understand FOLKS think that its ok to lie to try and decieve others. Im one of these people who remember details and I will basically say look... You didnt say this before you said that. I just hate the people who lie for nothing, Especially those who lie with no purpose. Its like this... I didnt ask you nothing so why are you volunteering to tell me something and I didnt ask you sh*t! Tell the truth cause everything thats in the DARK will Come to the Light!

Cheating- What are the real causes of why people cheat? Personally I am not a cheater and I have never cheated on anyone. I will not sit here and lie and say im not HUMAN and the thought has never crossed my mind. Do people cheat because they feel lonely? They are not getting sex at home? they are Nymphomaniacs and cant get enough? As Fantasia says, are they made to feel second best? What is it.. Please share your thoughts! I am not speaking on my own life so please dont think Im talking about me!

Imbeciles- Have you ever met someone who was too smart for they're own good. Well I know a person and this person just has gloom on his/her life and I believe that they are some close kind with the DEVIL.. LOL... I remember when I used to be mean and Would have said to this person "I wish you die" since then i have grown up. This person makes me want to say it cause in my eyes they're presence is doing the world more harm than its doing. I have never met anyone who never has anything Positive or nice to say. Everything that comes out their mouth is something mean, hateful and destructive. NEVER speaks life but Death! If I say how are you? "I dont know"! PEOPLE these are not the kind of people you want in your circle. So clearly as my blog states.. my car was parked and hit... The dim witted Jack ASS sends me a text telling me that its seems someone needs to learn how to drive. My response yeah.. whoever hit the car sure does! Then Jack Ass goes on to tell me how it was probably on purpose, or that it was fate. FATE- I was in the car at all, but hey I could be wrong! Well Im a funny person and talk mess all day long.. Well I texted the person just playing and asked them about how did they like the oral sex we had? OH LORD why did I do that. I got a text saying something like WHY do you care or what do you care for? Something that made me mad. My response was GROW UP NIGGAH! and I was losing it Then came, why you got to act like a Bit*ch all the time? Then me being the witty, smart mouthed person started convulsing inside! I wanted to get them but I self contained! I got one phone call and 2 more I am not answering them. I GAVE UP! I refuse to talk to someone who is not a FRIEND or that has my best interest at heart! I remember when I was in College Mother TooRoyal always looked out for me even tho he was 3.5 years younger than I. LOL.. HE gone kill me!

I BET YOU THINK THIS BLOG IS ABOUT YOU! DONT YOU!? DONT YOU!?

2006-11-15T12:23:00.000-06:00

So the above photo is of my car.. which really show the damage... But The grill and the protective covering under the hood is gone. Its damage to both fenders and the bumper is scratched. Im just sick and tired of being sick and tired. It seems like when it rains it pours.. I am trying not to let this send me into a state of depression but this accident is totally out of my budget. I am the one to hold everything together for everyone... They call on me whenever something goes wrong. I feel like I am responsible for the world. Now the car. First the $500 deductible... then the rental car(I forgot to add rental car reimbursement when I turned 21)...... over all stress of dealing with Claims adjusters and what not. All I can say is since I got to pay all this money its gone be well worth it when I get it back.. Cause Im going to have it pimped. I was typing all that I was having done to it... Then I thought I would wait until it is finished and show you guys the finished product.
How would you feel if you went to someones house and it was nasty. Like dirty clothes all over the floor. Underware packaging on the floor and bed. Just the house in total chaos. Personally I would be looking around like.. UGH! well I went to a persons house and thats how I felt. Im a person who tries to keep his house spotless if possible. I invest a lot of time into cleaning my house. Its not big and it takes me about 4-5 hours a week to clean cause Im such a neat freak and perfectionist. Maybe its because im a gemini and we have to have everything in perfect order. I know I can be a bit obsessive compulsive when I take time from cleaning to ensure something is symmetrically lined up parallel to the lines in my couch and love seat or when I pull out the tape measurer and make sure the arrangement in the center is exactly centered in the middle of the table. or that the couch and love seat are exactly 32 inches from the wall.. or the T-Square to make sure my bed is made up corner to corner. LOL.. Ok.. a lil compulsive..

Defeating the ODDS!

2006-11-13T10:56:00.000-06:00

I am not going to say how pissed I am right now.. After I sat there and typed a long blog and the Crap erased! ARG! Well I hope it doesnt happen again. Friday night I went to my grannies house to pick up some money but then I ended up sitting there with her and watching Grey's Anatomy a show which I had never seen. It was really a neat show! Saturday, involved furniture shopping with the DR. I shop with her, pick out things, and fix her car. What a good friend I am. That evening me, Cash, and Dalilbbrown went to eat. , Cash was gone... We had a pitcher of Strawberry Margarita. Then we went to the Generator.. a club which I really hate ... to meet my guy Atlantas friend Dallas. Dallas a short, thick, dredded, big booty brother. It was apparent that he was shy as hell but soon opened up and was ready to shake his "MONEY MAKER" on the dance floor. We danced for like 2 hours. He was the perfect dance partner cause he not to tall or too short.. JUST RIGHT! I started too... Then my ex, THE A, was there... being his normal self which consists of being LATE, TIRED, and HIGH to top it off. What a Jack A*S calling me during the club as if U could hear him. Sunday was my regular, church and eating afterward at Papadeax in Arlington Heights.
All my life I had struggles about getting ahead in life cause our own people(YES BLACKS) dont like to see young black man make it in life.
Everything Someone said I wouldnt do I have done it...
1. They said I wouldnt live to be 18... Im 25 now
2. I would never amout to anything since my parents were not anything.. Im a college Grad(symbolism of the pic) with a Career
3. Well on yesterday I was told I was fat and to accept it as that. "Your never going to be a 32 wst so you might as well accept yourself as that.......... Not true... I lost a lot of weight this year I just gained it back. But I got something for this person.. I have a gym membership and I will monitor what I eat..... I know how to defeat any obstacle placed in front of me. Thanks for giving me something to strive for. Tho I dont want to be a size 32 but I want to be a 36-38 and I want to be healthy... I do not want to succumb to Diabetes, heart disease, or Morbid obesity.

Nasty Disposition

2006-11-09T13:33:00.000-06:00

First off I got to give mad props to Keisha Kornbread… He didn’t want to see me in a bad mood and did something daily to make me smile. Especially this morning when he made cry tears while laughing.. LOL… Now on to the meat.. Sorry this is going to be a long one.

Well for the last week or so.. I’ve had an attitude out of this world. I have not wanted to be bothered and everything and mostly everybody was getting on my nerves. I didn’t want to smile or talk and just wanted to plain out just be left alone. It was so bad that sex and head couldn’t cure it. But my attitude probably made some good orgasms. LOL..

For Halloween the kids came to my door. I sat still when I knew they knew I was in the house. Especially with my car sitting there and my lights on and they could probably see the computer screen. I didn’t care, get the fuck away from my door. besides I don’t celebrate that shit anyway.

Then 2 people whom I deemed as important people in my life(ill leave them nameless) got on my nerve. One whom I had been attempting to make contact with wouldn’t call me or even text me for that matter. Boy was I pissed. This person ran me low. Then the second ran me even lower… I don’t know what’s wrong with this person. But they have me fucked up. I don’t know if they think I’m a mind reader or some kind of psychic. I’m not either.. I’m a social worker and part time counselor and ALL I have right now is a B.S. They would text me saying “You don’t get,” I’m thinking WTF. What is there to get? “You will never understand” LOL.. Hell in order to get 2 I thought you at least had to have 1 to start with. Well after trying not to play games with them. I rebutted… You’re right I will never get it for the simple fact I don’t have a clue as to what’s going on in the first place. Secondly im a grown man.. I didn’t play games as a child and Im not going to start as an adult. I do not want to want to pass go and collect $200 nor do I want take Chances(is that even a game) or play guess who. Silly RABBIT games/tricks are for kids. Needless to say they are fine and not talking to me which is fine. People are like a bag of mixed NUTS.. you never know which one is coming out next. LOL. That was not nice but original.

Then I got 2 severe infections and got to be off work for a couple days.. Most people would have been overjoyed.. I would have rather been at work. Then Friday night me, Dalilbbrown, and the DR ventured down to EIU our alma mater for the annual Black Alumni Reunion (TOOROYAL WOULDN’T COME). It was cool. I got to see all those who left before me and after me. I felt old cause the freshman are almost 10 years younger than me. Hell they are nuts and I believe they are prostituting on the campus. LOL. I got to see my ex and some other people. LORD I’m glad I’ve graduated and have moved on because if I were still there I would be in trouble.

Saturday another friend pissed me off royally. I was like GOD… Is it going to get any better. Later that night, I went to a restaurant and came back in. I hit the keypad and the alarm sounded. I thought I hit the panic button. Then I stuck the key in and the alarm went off. I thought WTF, someone fucking with my car. Well just in case they were lurking around I locked the doors and turned it off. Further pissing me off more! I can say now that today I am in a better mood. And not hating the world.

My out of town guests

2006-10-30T17:29:00.000-06:00

This is to summarize the wonderful weekend I just had. I was angry at the fact that I couldnt go to Nashville and the fact that Kimora and his crew didnt take me with them. Nonetheless this weekend was a sucess and it in fact made up for me not going to Nashville. Hell I probably had a better time here with all of my friends than with a few of us going and the rest left behind. Friday, I ventured down to Champaign Urbana to see my lil sister and take her car to her. .
Then I was picked up by TOOROYAL and we journeyed back to Chicago in this lil ass HONDA. Tho it is a nice car with 1,000,000 miles on it, it just dont look right with 3 big niggas in it that are all over 6ft and and over 240 lbs. Im sure we looked like circus clowns getting out of that car. Then 5 big ass people piled up in my car... at least my honda is a lil bigger to go to Houseshoe casino to have dinner.. At this point everyone was in SHOCK! We were in shock about that $32 per person we were told and they were in shock looking at 6 (ME, CASH,TOOROYAL,KING LOUIS, BARTENDER, and Dalilbbrown) big boys coming in there.
It would have been more but everyone else bailed out on me. Im sure they got on the phone and called in for back up cause they thought were going to give that buffet hell. We left and got Carbondale and then headed downtown to see a movie that was sold out! A lil angry I was after I learned that we were attempting to see a movie that just came out! Of course it was going to be sold out! Then after that we went back to my place to have drinks and just to chill.
The night was going good of course with everyone seeming to be a lil sexually aggressive. What the hell did he put in them drinks?! Then we all went to bed, cash went home, and Bartender went in the bathroom after I pushed his ass off my carpet after he said he was not feeling well.

We all went to bed only to wake up to Bartender laying in the floor with only pants on and a towel tied around his head. WTF? then to get up and see all this fucking red throw up in my bathroom. I was hoping that he did not throw up on my crisp white shower curtain. I went to get my axe to cut his ass up! I woke him up out of his drunken stuper to be lied to. He knew very damn well that he did it and got up denying it.. What remains a mystery is how he managed to get from the bathroom to the front room naked cause his pants were in the front room. Later we went to eat and then Michigan city and then to South Bend to meet the infamous South bend. A stunt! Then we ventured over to Niles Michigan to this good ass Haunted House that got all of our asses right together. I aint gone put all them big niggahs on blast by putting the 2 smallest in front of everyone(me and dalilbbrown), but we held our own. Then we went to eat.

On Sunday we went to church and then down town to eat and they all piled back in my house last night. Today I get to work to find out my ex is hired and started today. Ive been acting like I dont know him.

So Simple

2006-10-30T17:11:00.000-06:00

After the events of the last 24 hrs.. the only thing that plays in my head is the Song "It all could be so simple but you'd rather make it Hard" by Lauren Hill. Why is that we as human beings dont believe "Fat meat is greasy," " A hard head makes an even softer Ass," "that things wont happen?" I have said this before we are the authors and finishers of our own destiny. Well I have a friend whom I have talked to over and over again just to try and make a valid point. Like the 0ld saying goes "it went in one ear and out the other" It really bothers me that my words of wisdom never permeated the skull and were not heeded too. Why is that we dont learn until we hit brick walls head first when in fact we could have just done right the first time. We are awarded so many chances to be forgiven and improve but when is enough, E-FUCKING-nough? I am a person that learns from others mistakes.... I learn from my own mistakes.... I listen to what older wiser people tell me and sometimes I get advice from my peers. Its time for us to get control over our lives, step up to the plate, and be adults. We cant go on much longer making excuses for our actions.. we cant on not recieving knowledge... We need to do something before we hit that brick wall... often not being able recover... Not often do the passengers in cars that hit brick walls survive. (Except Kimora & Jamal.. LOL..) So to save yourself the tears and heartache... do better before the END Comes..... Remember KNOWLEDGE IS THE POWER AND KEY TO EVERYTHING~
~Maurice a.k.a GOD's Chosen ONE~~

Whats your Attraction?

2006-10-25T15:53:00.000-05:00

For the last couple of weeks I have been having crazy dreams. Dreams ranging from me having sex with my friends to me talking to people in my church that I dont necessarily care for. Only the LORD knows what these dreams are about and they're exact meaning. The first dream is about my childhood friend and Ive known him all his life of 24 yrs. Imagine this he is a TOP like me. But he came over to the house and we hugged(we never do that) and then we sat and cuddled on the couch to watch tv. He told me he likes to be cuddled when he sleeps(fact) so we went to the bedroom and went to bed with me spooning him. Damn, I thought he has a big ass and the nicest hips to match it(fact). I slowly began to grab, massage, and rub on them without any resistance from him. WOW, I thought. Some way some how we ended up getting down. This top nigga let me fuck him. It was hott. I was so seet and gentle. I woke up! in the second dream we were doing it again. He was telling me that he never knew that someone could enjoy something as pleasurable as this. The next day he told me if I get rid of DK1 that he was all mine. Oh, wow! I thought, how are 2 tops gone be together? He sugguested we both be verse! I dont know if I could but he was surely sprung on the dick. I woke up. Damn, i keep thinking what the hell are these dreams about? Could it be that he is exactly what I like.. Dark and thick with a FAT ASS. Of course their is the brothers/sisters with the good personalities and can hold any type of intellectual conversation. Oh to see a person with all those qualities makes my dick stand at Full MASS of ??+(wouldnt you like to know). Or could it be that I am horny and I am lacking sex in my life? What could it be? But to be real I like the thick boyz I am a big boy lover. Starting with a 36w and up to about a 48w if the person carries they're weight real. To all my 360 bloggers, what attracts you to the people? What is the first quality that you admire about a person? Non-physical characteristics?

Do you ever get enough?

2006-10-23T13:10:00.000-05:00

This had to be one of the worst weekends I have had in a very long time. If it was not one thing then it was another. Friday night I had prearranged to meet up with one of my friends for a night over to my house. His plans changed so Co-worker ended up coming over and I had fun with her and then Westside came over. I almost had my crew there with me but Cash and Dalilbbrown didnt come. Saturday, I went to this store on the Westside with Co-worker and then we ended up in Schaumburg shopping at Woodfield and Ikea. I love that store. I am actually getting an early start on Christmas this year so I was buying stuff so I wont wait until December and have to blow a whole check on shopping. Cash,Tooroyal, Kimora, Dalilbbrown, Timmy are we exchanging gifts? Let me know! Saturday was not the best day for me. I had a slight chip on my shoulder to begin with and then for some reasons known and unknown I kept getting more and more mad. I tend to get/have a very nasty disposition at times. I really didnt want to be bothered by anyone. So I ended up going to over to Co-workers house and talking to her for a very long time. Then I went to my house and got fucked up just so I could express myself thoroughly without anger and being mean at the same time. I had a very long talk with my S.O. and now things seem to be better already. Sunday was a regular Sunday for me except for when I was on my way home from Church these Bulldagging police woman chased me down and pulled me over. I was not speeding nor did I violate laws. I raised the down windows for them to come to my car with they're guns drawn telling me to put my hands out the window. No problem HOES. It was a blk and Mexican one. I swear they dont like to see Blk people with nothing nice. I work hard as hell everyday not to be harrassed. The Chili Pepper(no offense to my hispanic readers) says what you got? GOT! I dont have anything and what are you looking for cause whatever it is I dont have it. Then she asked me what was I doing out there and where was I coming from. I said I am coming from church dont you see my clothes and my bible. Then she started asking me all these questions regarding me and my car. Then finally after 10 mins she asked me for my license. It was cold and I didnt have any gas. So rolled up the windows while one stood on the side of the car and the other went to check our records. CLEAN, so I was not even remotely concerned. The hoe tells me to keep my windows down. It was c0ld so I rolled the drivers window half way down. So I began to write down her name and badge number because Im reporting this as harrassment. She went and wrote me a PARKING TICKET? Can you believe it. Made up some kind of reason to write a ticket. Harrassing me when they are criminals to catch.

Blown Away!

2006-10-19T15:45:00.000-05:00

Whaddup to Longshot, my new friend. Ive been talking to him for such a short while and already It seems like I have know him my whole life. He is a really cool guy.
Next Shout out too all my friends NIU_fynest, TOOROYAL, CASH, Kimora LEE, Dalilbbrown,Timmy,Riqqi and the rest of my 360 friends.
Have some things just ever blew you away before? Well the event of the last 7 days have been mind blowing experiences. First friday I night I invited Dekalb2 over to my house, not on anything. He got mad at me and told me not to worry about speaking to him ever again. Oh well I dont care.
Then there is Westside Queen. He is such a fucking cockblocking ass niggah that he called around to find out who was coming to my house and lucked up. So he thought he had the right person, so he called and snapped on the person about coming to my house where I pay rent. He was partially right, it was the wrong person but the person he snapped on did have some association with the person that was coming over. So being the messy person he is he says Maurice I know who was at y0ur house. "No one was there!" Well it was Dekalb1 who was supposed to come over there. "The name doesnt ring a bell" Then he was like his friend told him that it was him that came over. WTF ??? I thought you checkin up on me and shit like your my muthafucking nigga All I wanted to know was how in the hell did my name come up in anyone shit? Needless to say.. It was confirmed by Winthrop, who called me to ask me if he had come over. Then to find out that im being discussed. I was flattered as well as angered for the simple fact Mofo's need to mind their business. I couldnt believe it.
Then their is Restaurant is messy ass hell. He was online talking to me and asked me to view his webcam just so my ex could walk past the camera. WTF I thought?
Then my landlord blew the shit out of me... He asked me did I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Im thinking how is that any business of yours, and since it was not a question on the credit application I didnt see the importance of him knowing that.
Im so glad this week is almost over.

The Reading of a LIFETIME

2006-10-11T12:10:00.000-05:00

Yesterday so many things happened. One I was talking to someone I used to talk too. It was actually a great conversation and I enjoyed it. He invited me over to his place but I was unable to attend due to prior engagements. So I arrived at the Dentist office early for my appointment. I got called in and went in the back. There was the BIG ASS needle I was oh lord. Well she normally uses some cream on my gums before she sticks me. Well she used it and it still didnt work.. DAMNIT.. She stuck that BIG ASS needle in my gums and it hurt like hell.. All the while she is telling me to relax.. I uttered a groan and another groan and uttered the words how the hell can I relax with a BIG ASS needle in my jaw and it hurts. So then she starts drilling and LORD did it hurt. I was stop now. So she stopped and waiting and went back to it. IT hurt! When she was finished she said you never acted like this before... See you came here with a "preconcieved thought." LOL.. well I dont want to be another Diamond Brownridge(RIP) and possibly thats why I was tense. I went to the Car dealer to get my headlight replaced(yes again) and then they started trying to sell me another car. Ok.. I hate being bored and I hate waiting.. So I started driving
the 07's and so I decided to lease one since I am not to like keeping cars long. While I was waiting I began to think about the "EX" and us rekindling. I thought about what it was like to try and date him 11 months ago. Then I Thought about the comment /Scripture he left on my blog and decided that it was best if we didnt rekindle any kind of relationship but more so work on a friendship. "If he didnt like you then he is not going to like you now" is what kept playing in my head. Back then he didnt like my hair(me), didnt like the way I thought(me), thought I was a hoe, might I add Im not(me). So it seemed that everything about me disgusted him so now why the change of heart. He is a person that I really like and grew to care for.. only to not be accepted and have my heart handed to me in a basket after it was stepped on and abused. After thinking all this.. I told them to keep the truck and if I want it, Ill come back tand get it tommorow(which is today). So today, is NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY! To bad I aint got no one to come out too and no one asked me either so.. Im still on the DL or whatever. LOL.. Well as I have mentioned before its this 51 yr old man that is employed here. He is a hot mess. Last summer (05) he tried to get with me but I was not interested. So I told him I was not going to date him because 1. he was 51 2. which he could be my daddy 3. he was uncircumsized and people who know me know that I am not fond of them unless I love the person. 4. Im not anyone's fuck buddy and if I have one its gone be someone I picked 5. He is a top and what the hell 2 tops gone do. So he kept on thinking he could whoo me.. Then he did what I never expected an old man to do.. He bad mouthed me to company's gay clique and made it seem like I was tryin to get him and mess with him while we were at work. Well it got back to me so I been ignoring him since I heard about it. So he had me trapped in the breakroom by my self. He said are you still mad at me? "MAD aint it.. I fucking hate you MUTHAFUCKER. How in the hell you gone do me like that? Here im young and you got muthafuckers thinking im easy. I dont appreciate the bullshit and I aint gone stand for it. And dont tell me you didnt talk about it... Cause no one cause tell me this shit if you didnt!" Ok Im sorry for talking about you and discussing you. I was wrong! "DAMN RIGHT! " Can we be at least cordial? "MUTHA FUCK YOU! How the hell can I be cordial with you and you have fucking slandered my got damned name and think the shit is cute. Keep on laughing muthafucker.. keep on and I got you next time I see you at Jackson Park.. You better fucking hope I dont catch you in the woods or coming out with your pants down and a pictute mysteriously appears all over the fucking agency you fucking old ass CUNT! I dont like shit and I dont want to be a part of any so keep my fucking name out your mouth. NOW WE CAN BE CORDIAL." Can you believe this?

Bullcrap

2006-10-10T11:06:00.000-05:00

God is doing some serious working in my life. I was sitting back thinking yesterday how my life is going relatively well right now and I am not stressed, I am happy and stacking my paper. There still comes a point where life issues can throw blows at you. But I can thank GOD I can swing my Steel LouisVille Slugger and return them to sender. Over the weekend I had a lot of time to myself and I began to think. I began to think about where are we going as a race and as a "Community?" We lie and make up shit to make ourselves like the leading man or the victim when in fact were not. I aint gone lie a lot of us on are PURE Bullshit. And why is it that the people that treat us nice we treat them so bad and those that treat us horrible we love. Someone needs to do some research on the subject. So I called up some of my old "Friends" just to see what are they talking about and to prove my theory of bullshit. Friday night I asked one "friend" to accompany me too dinner. Well instead of just saying NO.. They had to go through the statistical analysis of why they couldnt attend but wanted to know where I had in mind. HOW HARD is it? Just say No Maurice I dont want to attend(Incidence of Bullshit). I was not mad at this person cause I expected it. I then called Walmart2. I said hello Walmart! Who is This? ITs Maurice. Oh hey. Went through the whole greeting and finding out how we are. Then the BULLSHIT began to flow so freely like a fountain throwing out water. "Maurice, I have a boyfriend now but im caught up because he says he loves me and we only been together 2 weeks and of course I miss you. I never said I didnt want to talk to you my phone was stolen and I was not able to get in contact with you. But I really miss you!" I felt my glasses slide to the end of my nose and the fierce read flow freely and let him have it. These YOUNG FAGS! Who the hell does he think he is playing with.. I was 19 before. But after I let him know that people who miss one another make contact with one another. And no matter what if you want to keep in contact with a person then you will when you have they're email address, facebook information(might I add, has all my contact info available to my friends), and my telephone #. All he could do was get off the phone. Then we go to Dekalb2 who is another stunt queen who thinks it all about "her." It was our plan to hang out at SPIN on Saturday and of course he came up with some excuse as to why he couldnt come. But in the next 15m I got a text telling me if I didnt go to the club he could come over. As bad as I didnt want to go to club I went. He claims he doesnt like GAY clubs but he is gay. Why is that all the people you have liked treats you so bad. Then something similiar happened to my friend TOOROYAL this weekend... I felt like Lynn Whitfield in "Thin Line Between Love and Hate."
Lets Go and them Royal cause they running us LOW. If no one else takes heed to nothing else I said, take heed to this.............. TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED AND IF YOU DONT WANT TO DO SOMETHING SIMPLY JUST SAY NO. DONT GO THROUGH ALL THE MELADRAMATICS AND PSYCHODRAMATICS OF LYING AND MAKING UP EXCUSES.

2006-10-09T09:33:00.000-05:00

This weekend was not at all spectacular but it wasnt too bad. Friday I did the working 2 jobs thing and then went home. I was listening to one of my clients talk and he was going on and on about how he does like GAY people. So I let him go and then I interrupted him and asked him why doesnt he like gay people? His answer was because they are GAY. I then asked him is that a reason not to like someone? NO.. I had to explain to him that GAY people are no different than anyone. They are normal people Like "Me" and him. I then asked him how would he feel if people didnt like him because he was black? He wouldnt like it of course so then when came to a happy medium that if a gay person didnt do something directly to him then he needs not dislike them. WHEW!~ Saturday, I got up and went to the Laundry Mat and washed clothes. Then I came back and went to a Book signing with Cash and met up with some other bl0ggers there. The book is called Tops and Bottoms By Micheal Carpernter. This was truly a new experience for me because I had never been to one of these before and I actually enjoyed it. It had an open forum to ask the author questions about the book and his views on certain things. After that I went back to my house and got Dekalb and took him to his parents house. YES, we separated! Its ok and we are both fine with it. Later that night I went out with Cash and Atlanta. Spin was not hitting like we thought it should so we left there and went to the generator. Now I hate the generator with a passion so I was angry. Ive only been there one another time and all I did was sleep then So Guess WHAT?? I slept once again. Ill never go to that place ever again. Sunday, I went to church. What a great experience. I dont know if I mentioned it before but CASH goes to church with me now and this makes week 4 or 5. So he must enjoy it if he keeps coming back. Elder, preached a good word about Change is coming for most of us by the end of the year. I am claiming it because ITS MY TIME TO BE BLESSED! I woke up at 4 this morning and when I didnt drift back to sleep I knew it was GOD telling me something. I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me Proverbs 8:17. This is the way GOD communicates with me. If he has something that he wants me to know.. He always tells me at about 3 or 4 in the morning meaning to seek him early. With my soul have I desired thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early: for when thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness Isiah 29:6.This morning I awoke at 6 and almost made the decision to turn over and go back to sleep. I knew then that it was time for me to change careers. I have not mentioned it but I have been sending out resumes and applying online for other positions. Every place in Chicago is closed today and I am sitting here at work with no chance of leaving early. ALL I can ask NOW is that the Saints of GOD.. PRAY for my Change.... a much needed change and my growth in the LORD.

All About Me

2006-10-03T08:57:00.000-05:00

Its been a long time since I touched down in blog land. But alots been going on with me working, searching for a new employment, exercising,decorating my apt, kicking it with my friends(old and new), and going back and forth through depression. Now that I am back I will do my best to try and do one blog a week. Every weekend for the last month or so I have been kicking it with Cash, Atlanta, and Blknazn. We have been going to eat and then clubbing it up. People are starting to act brand new again like they have never seen a group of gay boys together. For instance a couple weeks ago it was about 5 of us big boys at Red Lobster.. People were looking at us and shit. So finally I was like WTF are you looking at? Then at Bin 36 on Saturday the server kept asking us what were we there for? Why did it matter? So finally I told him please stop digging. I have to say that Spin has now become my hang out spot and finding a spot dont even mean nothing to me anymore. But today my heart is heavy and I got some things to discuss with the blog world and I hope I get some positive feedback. Well me and my guy have been having a few troubles and its getting out of hand. Is it possible to love someone and not be in love? Yes I know it possible. Can 2 people who are totally different make it? Can sex ruin a relationship? My situation is that I want it and he doesnt feel like it all the time.. I want the blog world to tell me what can a person do to make a relationship work? See the problem is now I love him but we are loosing our connection for many different reasons. He says I want him to be the perfect man.. but I didnt know that those existed. I have a high sex drive and I LOVE to have sex and we dont do it enough for me. I love this man so much that Im willing to compromise myself slightly to make it work and still its not good enough for him. I am not trying to string him along! I have no problem being alone. Maybe my problem is that I require to much attention and he aint giving it to me. Maybe I am a perfectionist. Maybe Im bored! Maybe he is not doing it for me anymore. I dont know what it could be but i am not in the business for hurting people or for people being able to hurt me. But in all relationships everyone have to conform and compromise else relationships wont work. But I would like some feedback.

It's Just that simple----GOD BLESS YOU

2006-09-14T12:41:00.000-05:00

Listening to: In the MIDST of it all by: Yolanda Adams
Before I left for ATL i made a promise to myself that I would lose weight because I was not pleased with the amount of weight I gained. I have gained a significant amount. So since I been back in the last week or so I have been on what I call a "Behavior Modification." I simply stopped eating after 8p and I have reserved Sugar for Saturday. In just 10 days I can see some small changes too. I am a member of Bally's total fitness and I am now a member of a team Called "Active for life." Every wednesday I will meet with a personal trainer and start going back to Bally's. I was working out like 2 hours a day and pretty much still eating as I wanted. Its all good tho.. even tho I dont have any support from Dekalb. Not much has went on since Monday. I finally got the fucking TREO fixed.. For it to be a new phone it has clowned again. So I was without from Sunday until Tuesday. Tuesday was the day for everything. First for starters, I walked into the bathroom and there one of my old dips stood. He was interviewing for a postition here. WTF I thought? I couldnt believe it and he couldnt either. But we played it off really well when we were "Introduced" to one another. Has anyone from the Chicagoland area noticed that the police are harrassing people. Well I was headed northbound and they were going southbound. I look in my mirror and I see them turn around in a parking lot and literally chased me for about 4 blocks to pull me over. Then gets out and says whose car is this. I say mine, who is it registered too? ME dumb ass. Then he wanted my license and ins card. Then he looked at my shit as if it was fake! Now anyone that has Statefarm knows that the cards are in a plastic covering.. He was turning it over and shit. Im like... you asked for proof not anything else. So then he told me to sit there while flashing lights in my car like I was a fugitive. I sat and then they came back to tell me that my headlight was out and to get it fixed and to have a nice day. WTF? all that? To me it seems that some people are not happy unless there is some turmoil in they're lives. When the enemy comes in like a flood, Simply look him in the face, text him, IM him, or whatever communication is necessary and tell him "GOD BLESS YOU!" Thats what Ive been doing to combat my enemies. I have this person I know and no matter how much I try to befriend him he opts not to take my friendship instead he would much rather be difficult and evil for no reason. Everyone has issues, but before anyone can correct anyone elses issues they have to have "Sweep around their own front before they can sweep around yours." No matter what or how this person may feel about me I still LOVE them and it aint nothing they can do about it. On another note. Who saw Noah's Arc last night? This show is running me low. How in the hell Alex just gone take Tre back like that? Aint no way in hell. I woulda broke up with him for not believing me. And Alex and the Crew should have beat the shit out of Guy for being a messy queen. The whole letter stunt was not as suspense filled as it should have. Besides them ending it with them pricks beating up my NOAH I enjoyed the show.

Im Memoriam

2006-09-11T15:46:00.000-05:00

Now that Im back and finally recouped from going to Atlanta I thought I could sit down and jot a few words down on the page. Atlanta afforded me many different opportunities to meet people, get away, and possibly think of my future home. When I was there I met Pj Brazile, NO4REAL, Prodigal sun,my Louisiana friends, and Ken I think is his name. Then of course I saw some of the other people I've met before. Needless to say I had fun. We would wake up at about 12 and by 1 we was drinking. Then we would go out and then come back to the Hotel and Re-Up.. LOL... We kicked it so hard.... The next Event we will be hitting up is probably going to be Dallas and Nashville. I am looking forward to kicking it with everyone that will be there. Last week I was hella tired and did not do much. Hell I only worked twice last week. I had a small lil Noah's ARC get together at my house on Friday night but I was a party pooper cause I got in the bed and went to sleep.. LOL... Saturday I went shopping for a new comforter set to go with my new bedroom furniture. Im such a picky person that everything that I bought I have taken back to the store and the one I bought last night is going back today. LOL... 5 years ago I awoke up at 9:30a in my dorm room and turned on the TV to see a Plane flying into a building. Hell I was still dilusional and I was like damn what kind of crazy ass movie is this. I changed the channel and there that shit went again. SO I sat up and got my celly off the charger to see several missed calls and a voicemail notification. This is real I thought and later to find it out that the U.S. had been hit by terrorists. Immediately I went into shock and fear. I thought damn they coming to get us next and I was like shit and my room is on the top floor. LOL.. finally I got ahold of myself and stopped being melodramatic.. There was no way they would pick this little hick town in the middle of cornfields to come and bomb us. I continued to lay in my bed and made the decision not to go to any of my classes because I was so intrigued as to what was going down but grieving deeply and sobbing for those people who lost they're loved one and praying my cousin who lives in New York had decided to stay home that day. I talked to my grandma all day about what was going on and I wanted to make sure my whole family was safe. What were you doing on 9/11/01? Today, I am at peace because GOD knew the whole time how those people were going to go. I just think about that following thursday when I went to Anthropology and my professor said that he didnt give a fuck about the people or anything else that happened. He said people die everyday from cancer, aids, old age, etc so what makes them any different. I remember so many people cursed him out and walked out the class(YES, I was one of them). GOD, bless the souls of the deceased and be with those who still grieve the loss of they're loved ones.

My First night in the ATL

2006-09-02T09:41:00.000-05:00

After getting off work and being delayed for more than an hour me and Dekalb made it toSTL about 9:30. Then of course we didnt go to sleep until about 1:30am and then got back at 5:14am when the alarm clock didnt go off. Well I made it to ATL yesterday about 3 o'clock pm. It was so fun in the truck cause me, tooroyal,dekalb, and EIU Lesbian was laughing the whole way down here. I immediately came to my room and tried to go to sleep but my insecure other part kept calling to make sure I was not doing anything. Hell i was looking out the door and it was plenty of niggahs on my floor but none that I would want... They were all skinny and kinda fem which aint a problem but skinny and fem dont work for me. Then we made it to the Liquor store and then to the underground which was closed. But we met up with some of our chicago friends. I aint gone call no one out, but you know who you are. I saw you looking at other people up and down like they were filth. NOT the case.. they are a true definition of GRAND.... and it aint a fasod nor a dilusion of it. CATCH IT!! After that I couldnt take to more of that phoninest so I left cause I was in no mood for arguments. I left there and was finna have to fight this fag. I am fucking 900miles, 12 hr away from my home and he wants to start. BITCH Im tired and I aint the one. I met up with Chiblknasian and his crew and went out to eat where the waitress ran me low. Hell after that experience my crew didnt even want to go out. We can back to the Hotel where we ran into the porn star Ty Lattimore... Hell Dekalb went crazy and that kicked off our fight. He stopped talking to me so we all know... I didnt talk either. But I will enjoy the rest of my trip regardless if her talks to me or not. Right now Im finna go and read him.

Leaving on that Midnight Train to Georgia

2006-08-31T14:36:00.000-05:00

Im so glad that this has come. In approximately 28 Mins I will begin my route to Atlanta Georgia the home of the GAYS.. LOL.. Just kiddin but it is alot down there. I got a long day ahead of me, with me driving to Sprint to pick up my replacement phone. Oh yeah since I didnt blog I did have a chance to tell talk about SPRINT PIECE OF CELLULAR SHIT. But my new $600 phone quit working.. Ill get to that later. But Im on my way to STL and then Ill leave in the middle of the night to arrive in ATL sometime tommorow morning or early afternoon. To all my bloggers there hit me up so we can network.

The T.V. and the people who watch it

2006-08-22T09:31:00.000-05:00

Now anyone that is familiar with me knows that I am not a big Television viewer. Usually at the moment the t.v. is powered on my journey to sleep starts. Sunday while Cash and Atlanta were over, while we were sipping on our Martini's and long Islands, we watched t.v. We viewed a few different shows such as girlfriends which I had never seen. Two episodes and I know those 4 women are full of nothing but drama. I value my friends opinion alot, but they will not dictate my life to me as if they are reading me off a script. Then I was scrolling through my ON DEMAND channels to see whats available(those of you who have comcast know what this is) I ran across Madea's family reunion so I purchased it. Then The Fantasia Barrino Story came on so I paused that and watched that. Is anyone else with me but was that show a piece of SH*T? She is a horrible actress! It seems to me that they had a budget of $50 and at the end they still had $25 left over. No one was talking about or anything else, hell it wasnt until after she became famous that anyone knew any of her personal business. Who hasnt the church shunned out.. hell unwed teen parents, homosexuals, and anyone different so she didnt have to include that. Hell this is a new day and age.. its just as many unwed teen mothers as their are teen homosexuals.. But hell you know many functioning developmentally disabled person's there are? MILLIONS.. many of our celebrities suffer from some form of mental illness and illiteracy. I am an avid fan of Tyler Perry and have watched everything he has produced 100's of times. It was not until Sunday that I grasped the whole concept of family aside from the comedy. FAMILIES did not just start when I was born but centuries and generations ago. If our ancestors were to see the way we act, think, etc they would not be pleased with us. Its like everything they faught for is gone down the drain. Right now im trying to instill FAMILY into one of my clients. The next thing that pissed me on Sunday was a friend of mine we'll call Detroit called me and asked me why havent I called him? My first instinct was going to read him for 25 counts of his stupidity then I thought you're better than that so I politely told him I would talk to him later. It burns me up that person who do nothing all day but sit on the net, watch TV, and sleep expect you to work and call them everyday. Your not doing anything so why dont you call me sometimes. Better yet "EDUCATED BLACK MAN" get off your ASS and do something. I wake up every morning at 6am and sometimes I dont get home from work until 10pm. Hell im tired and I dont want to talk.. If he was working then he wouldnt have so much IDLE time. I know this is a long one and im bringing it to a close. On the WGN news this morning I heard 3 stories of which just wanted to make me stick my fist through the screen and toss the TV out the window. The 1st being this man who is in jail because "HE KILLED JON BENET," He aint killed anyone. If he killed her then they would have got him in the 10 yrs she has been dead. He is promoting his book.. Then the story of Osama being in love with Whitney Houston and killing Bobby Brown off and making her one of his mistresses, which might not be a bad idea. Then the stupid APE we have as a president.. with his quote "The troops wont leave IRAQ as long as im in office." If he come on TV and make a statement like that then it is time that we get him out of office. IMPEACH the MONKEY.

A great week

2006-08-21T14:57:00.000-05:00

Last week was a good relatively good one. What does anyone think about this new season of Noah’s Arc? I am not really feeling it. The story line isn’t good and it is not as good as last season. I hope it gets better later in the season. Does anyone think that Juanito is fine as hell. He is too, and I guess is it because I strong attraction to Puerto Ricans. I used to have one and I loved him so much, he never knew it. I was listening to the radio and they were talking about the new generation of homosexuals. The people are younger as the days go by. Its true I am starting to see at an alarming rate of young children displaying more homosexual tendencies. Its strange what do think about it? I know I’m rambling but Ill get to the meat soon. In exactly 10 days I will be leaving Chicago to head to the ATL when I get off work…. ALL THE ATL BLOGGERS MAKE SURE YOU HIT ME UP SO I CAN MEET YOU WHILE I AM THERE. Cash is not going although we have been trying to get him to since we planned the trip. I even thought out a solution for him; fly down and ride back with us. He kept playing and now the plane tickets have went up by $100 since last week, so I’m sure he won’t be going now. Saturday was a great day. I had a little SOIRE at my new house. It was supposed to be a Housewarming/Liberation party that was Put together by Chiblknasn. It was so much fun none the less. My house was packed full of people who said they were not coming. The people who said they were coming didn’t show and the ones who said maybe or just flat out no showed up. It was like a nice bloggers meet and Greet. If I can remember everyone that was there ill put a link to they’re blogs.. CHIBLKNASN and his friend J the Burb boy, CASH, E,NIU_FYNEST, NAPERVILLE, WINTHROP, IESHA, INFINITI,DALILBBROWN, and can you believe the infamous CAPT AIN and his crew. This is what shocked me the most that night. I am not going to mention the countless arguments me and this has and his direct quote “I refuse to attend.” But non the less I am happy he came. It gave me a moment to see him and touch basis with him since we have not got along in a long time. So maybe this is the start of a NEW FRIENDSHIP. Truly it was a great event with lots of people, food, gifts, and drinks. Hell I was thinking that I must hang out with a lot of alcoholics, because the alcohol was coming in boxes and big bags. When I woke up Sunday morning, I thought my Island was part of the local tavern. The event ended late and completely ended when we left the club at 3am. Special thanks To Chiblknasn for being a good coordinator, Cash for the drinks, Donte and Winthrop for the Gifts and whoever else did something. Today, is the first day of school for Illinois State Colleges and reality is setting in that I am getting old. This is the 2nd year that I didn’t go back to EIU. Its kind of sad not including that I cant pass the vision part of the drivers test without my glasses and I could before. Stay tuned for pics.

What are some of the freakiest things you have done?

2006-08-15T13:07:00.000-05:00

I know this is my 2nd posting for the day but I wanted to get it out...

* I had sex in a park one night in clear view on a picnic table behind someone's house
*I was stuck in the middle of traffic and I started getting it on right there where anyone could look in my car and see.. (before the tints).
* I had sex in my mom's driveway with my guy where all they had to do was look at the window at me
*I had sex in my mom's basement with my little brother in the next room
*In my new place, I have nig picture windows and I had the blinds open, I had my guy to suck me off while I was recording and I didnt care who was watching and then I tapped that.
*On my trip to Miss in March.. My guy and I played all the way there even while we were next to other cars.... I was so hot and bothered when we arrived that we took a shower together and got it going in there.
*When I worked in one of my old jobs, me and this girl would get it on at the front door knowing anyone could in at anytime...
Ok im going to stop, im getting bothered.. LOL Im sitting at work with a BIG 9 inch hard on(LORD it grows when your horny) and one of my clients walked in and looked down..

****Disclaimer: All of these are factual events********

Smoking Cigarettes at Night!

2006-08-15T09:57:00.000-05:00

Since last Wednesday I been hella busy. First I had to go and get my furniture. My furniture would not fit through the door of my apt. I could just cry. Here I was all sweaty and about to cry cause it was so difficult. Something clicked in my head and said see if you could get in through the window. I got the love seat through the window but the couch was not going to make it. I totally had to remove the windows to get it in there.. I didnt care cause I was so happy to have it in there. Ive been working my 2 jobs and then coming home doing some deep cleaning and unpacking that I had not done. Dang, A person never know how much junk they have until they move. Ive been doing myself a favor for when I do move next year into my house.. IVE BEEN THROWING IT AWAY. Word to everyone... If you have not used something in 5 years then chances are you are never going to use it. Saturday I stayed in and chilled and then went to my Friends going away party. Im so jealous she is going to Howard to get her masters and Im sitting here in Chicago working like a Hebrew slave. Sunday I went to church and I took a couple of my friends with me.. GOD was really moving the service.. and my pastor was hitting things on the head. I had not felt so convicted in a long time. He was getting me about my attitude, my mouth, and my unpure thoughts. Sunday me and Dekalb made a deal that we would give up something that we loved the most. He has been working on giving up smoking for the last week. I was so mad at him cause he kept talking about this my last cigarette and kept coming up with more. I was just like dont expect to kiss me or lay next to me. I hate the smell of that stuff. I agreed to give up sugar until he can get over his urges and I immediately starting having withdrawals. I can make it. Yesterday, Me and Dolton went to Olive Garden. It had been so long since I seen her, so of course we had to play hit and squabble. LOL.. We have been playing it for 4 years come August 22. I got my Taurus out of the shop.. Its all fixed and repainted. I parked my new car and now im back to driving it although its only 3 years old. I come home to Dekalb who had a chip on his shoulder from the moment I walked in. Our night went without us speaking 2 words to one another. I grabbed the house phone and got on the phone while he continued to play on the computer. I dont know what the problem was but I aint gone worry about it. He didnt even sleep in the bed, he slept in the front room on the floor. This morning was the same routine.. We didnt say nothing. Uhm, are we breaking up? Or is it withdrawals from cigarettes?

Hell I dont act this bad when I have withdrawals from sex. I aint gone worry about the issues this week I got to get ready for the get together on Saturday.. I hope to see yall there!~

Cant we all just get alone

2006-08-11T08:40:00.000-05:00

Well its been about a week since I touched basis with the blog world. Not much has been going on. I have just been on the countdown to the days when I will make it to ATL. 22 more days and Ill be there. Im so looking forward to meeting alot of my internet friends from there and the other ones that will be down there for the Annual ATL Blk Family Reunion. LOL. Friday me, Dekalb, and Cash went up North to Winthrop's house to do our annual get together when his parents are out of town. No hanky panky went down like last year. Saturday night and went and paid off my tables so I could get them by the time my furniture came. Saturday evening I went to a birthday celebration for my Uncle's 80th birthday party. We rented a hall that my cousin owned that was connected to his coffee shop. For some reason him and his wife had a nasty attitude from the time we walked in. Then supposedly one of their kids went to them and said we were talking about them. Next thing I know it turned into a big argurment soon to be FIGHT. I left cause I didnt want to fight and I didnt have my piece with me. As I was standing outside shit began to really get out of control. My cousin walked up on my mom's talking shit. He knows and I know she could hold her own. She has been a thug all her life and it aint gone stop now. But before I could get back in there to help her my little brother stepped to him "Muthafucker dont be talking my momma like that." I felt proud.. My baby learned well... Money and Family dont mix. Here we are helping them to get they're business up and running and they have no people skills. And just because the majority of the people there were not from his side of the family that doesnt give him a right to act a fucking FOOL. He dont know the majority of the Caples men all got wrap sheets and wont mind beating the fuck out of him. We just left way before it was time to leave and took the party to her house where it was fun and we had all the drinks that we wanted. Sunday I attempted to go to the Laundry Mat but the ATM's were down so I went back home and got ready for church. It had been a long time since I was on time for church, let alone before the Praise team started. I went back home and took a nap and then got up and Rocked Dekalb's ass to sleep. See he was trying to get me started before I went to church. See how the enemy will come in and try and stop you from going to church. I then went out and purchased my new phone.. Its a Palm Treo and I named him TreShawn after my godson. Ill admit its a bit much for me... Im high grade but not that high grade.. Im going to keep him tho... At least for 18months like Sprint makes you keep it until you can upgrade again. Yesterday I was talking to a fellow blogger and he was quite upset because he feels like he is hated on by other bloggers and that they are upset because his blog is better. I aint tryin to be funny. Maurice (8/8/2006 10:10:04 AM): "Im just saying... Its a blog and we all share ideas.. Its not a competition to see whose blogs do better. Thats so childish. " Truly Im not on here to compete and see how many people I can get to read my blog and comment, to get people to come to my page, or raise my page views. NOT AT ALL! It comes with a maturity level and as this person ages they will see life is too short to be getting upset about nonsense and that its just a blog... It holds no real significance other than to express your thoughts. Well you know last week I lost one of my clients. This clients had many different responsibilities throughout the agency and one of those was to make sure the vending machines stayed were stocked weekly. Well since all the big bosses are gone and I am in charge of operations right now(Of course no adjustment in my pay) I had to stock the machine. It seemed like he was not pleased with the way I was doing it so his spirit jumped into mine and made me do it right. Yes it seems crazy but it happened and the funny part is the other person that was doing it with me, says he got hit when he didnt do something right. Its funny how spirits come back to visit us. But I know this one is long but have a good day.

Tommorow is not Promised to any of us

2006-08-02T16:00:00.000-05:00

Listening To: Bless your Holy Name

Apostle Donald Alfred

This has been a trying a week one I would say to test my faith and once again make me realize who GOD IS in my life. For starters the heat has been unbearable and almost hard to deal with. The temperatures have reached into the mid hundreds... and with the heat indexes it has reached as high 119. Damn that’s to much. I’m a big boy for one so that really didn’t work for me which caused me to sweat even more. Everyday this week has presented me with something as a test and a trial and I think I have passed them but not with flying colors. Honda is an expensive company. My brake pads went on my car and they wanted $539.33 to repair them. WTF I thought? My pads were so completely gone that they didn’t even want me to take the car from the service port. Can you believe it they made me sign a waiver stating that the car was unsafe to drive and that if anything happened to it they would not be liable. Ok.. I tipped it to my mom's house so her husband could fix it and now imp stuck driving my old car that my brother tore up. LOL. Its not funny but I got bungee cords holding up the bumper and front end assembly. I felt like I was knocked off my high horse having to drive it like that. None the less its mine and it beats the bus in this sweltering heat. I knew this was going to be one of those days when I came out the house and couldn’t get the passenger door open because of the accident and then got to work and realized that I left my lunch at home. Still then I didn’t notice that something was wrong. It wasn’t until 8:45am and my boss came into my office crying that I noticed that something was wrong. Then i heard the bad news.. 1 of our best clients had died last night from some type of myocardial infraction but I think he had a heat stroke which he probably did. Its been said around the office day. I have been doing grief counseling all day and having 200 clients and about 10 staff there was no way we could accommodate all these individuals so we had to call one of other agencies to come in and help us. I wanted to cry myself but I remained strong. This really makes me think about how we should appreciate people while they are here on this earth. I used to be one of those people who would shut people out but if something would have happened to one of them while I was being an asshole and not talking to them I would have cried and been upset. As people we can be mean as hell sometimes and can say some mean things that we really don’t mean. I remember back in the winter I was going through something’s. I admit I kind of have Intermittent Explosive Disorder and the smallest thing can tick me off. Well I said some bad things to him because he made me mad and instead of him leaving me alone how I usually am when I’m mad, he kept calling and texting me which caused me to act kind of ugly. We went for 8 months without any real conversation. Our mouths can get us in a lot of trouble. Mine does! I never realized it until I lost my best friend. He didn’t want to be my friend anymore and I kind of deserved it. It took just about 8 months for us to be cool again. We are getting better! So its better to keep contact with someone and let the person know that you care about them and love them because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. I know someone else that does this whenever something is going wrong in they're life. SHUTTING the world out ain’t gone make it better and its always better to have the ones who love you around.

Girl lets go to Red Lobster and Eat

2006-08-01T08:36:00.000-05:00

Dekalb told me that he does not live here. I beg to differ, he has not been to his parents home but one time since I have lived here. People who dont live places dont be there everyday, dont buy groceries, pay utilities, or have keys to places they dont live.Reality has not set in just yet but I know when I go to work Tommorow Momma D wont be there. Friday was cool i got off work and went to my other job. A much better week than I had last time with him because exactly one week prior I spent it with the police and him. Subway came over and chilled with me and Dekalb until I went to sleep on after midnight. Saturday I went to work again and went to order the tables so they would be there by the time the furniture got here. Then me and Dekalb went out to chill with Cash and ride in his new car. It a nice car and her name is BOSSY! We went to Red Lobster to eat and I swear it must have been FAG DAY..... It was the employees, the customers, and the customers coming in. It also must have been pick up your FAG HAG and lets go to Red Lobster. Everytime I looked up It was be a Fem Guy and 3 or 4 women coming in. FAMILY was represented all throughout the restaurant. We left there and then went up to Jackson Park to meet up with Sauk Village. My first was up there, and some other people I know. The park was tired and Late so we came back to my apt to chill. We sat in the house until they left shortly after midnight. Today i stayed in the house and chilled because it was to HOTT!

Holding on to your dreams

2006-07-29T22:13:00.000-05:00

Listening to Byron Cage BLESS THE LORD

Why does everyone in the world think that I am the one to take on they're problems. Well yesterday I worked both jobs and low and behold as soon as I got off my damn phone started ringing. I was trying to go to Co-workers (New name: Momma D) house to do my laundry. First it was my god sister calling me telling me that her check engine light came on. Well that wasnt so bad because at the most I would have to go and pick her up to take her back home. So I started doing an assessment over the phone and then I told her to rush it out to Toyota ASAP. Well Ill say its exactly what I said it was. I got some mechanic skills in me. Then my lil sister calls me and tells me her car stopped. Damnit I jus bought the car 2 weeks ago and this is the 2nd time it has stopped. I have spent like a grand trying to get it running for her. Well this time I diagnosed it as being the timing chain. Damn, so I was on the phone for what seemed like hours getting the towing service to have the car towed back to Chicago she was all the way out in Bollingbrook. All I knew was that I was not going to be pushing it with my car back from there and basically there was nothing I could do anyway but call a tow truck. Then I had to have a big brother talk with her. I began by saying " I know that it seems like everything in the world seems to be going against you but dont be discouraged. For all you know GOD is sparing your life cause you could have been killed. She was ok with that and we went on to my house. My Guy Dekalb truly pissed me off last night. I wanted to beat the shit out of him. Here he had a final to do for his class and the professor told him what he could not do. Well somewhere somehow he thought he could do what the hell he wanted.. Sure.. But it didnt work. So I ended up having to do the final for him like it was my shit. Then I began to think about how I let got off my dream. I have always wanted to go to college... So I went and got my bachelors and then I wanted to get my masters. I remember my last semester in college and I applied for grad school and got accepted. YAY! I thought... In about a years time Ill have a bachelors and a masters. I was dating this guy I call The A that I had been seeing for about 2 years. He had graduated exactly one year earlier and had moved back home. So I sat down enrolled in classes and was due back to school that January to begin working on my masters. I graduated Saturday and Monday I had an interview and got the job and is still here almost 2 years later. I was like damn I got a job and this nigga is in the chicagoland area. I can make this work. So I withdrew from all my classes so I could stay home and be closer to him because I loved him. Do you know I ended up breaking up with him the next month exactly 4 days before Valentines day because I couldnt take it no more. I was tired of being used for sex, feeling unappreciated, and basically treated like shit. It sent me into a deep depression cause here I deferred my dream to be with some nigga who didnt want me. I lost the person I thought I truly loved. I lost my freedom cause I ended up having to sublet my apartment because I was working back in Chicago. I lost it all... Materialistic things never can make up for something like this. Listen everyone never put off a dream for anyone.... Today is Co-worker/Momma D's last day. Im kinda sad because I have gotten used to her being her everyday and us talking shit back and forth to one another everyday. But as she embarks upon her new journey to Loyola for a Masters...I think Maurice will be embarking upon a journey of his to get a MS behind this name.

INTERN

2006-07-27T22:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the intern was on me like white on rice, shit on stank, you get the picture. Its like now she is coming to areas of the office where I sit to see what im doing. She calls to see what im doing. LOL.. So finally I asked her why she didnt call me... She claimed she didnt feel well. So I told her Im seeing someone. She was looked at me and instantaneously got mad with me for being with someone else. What else was I suppose to do but be honest. Damn people get mad at you for being honest or when they catch you up in your lie. Im not a good liar so i just dont do it. She was pretty mad at me but everytime we crossed paths she was telling me that I still like you. I said ok cool. What about do you like about me? Your cute, smart, witty, funny, lovable, and from what I see a person to be around. As black as I am it made me blush. LORD knows that I cant do it. Then she started telling one of my co-workers that I was mean but in the next breath saying that I still like you. At one point she was trying to back it up on the pipe. Im saying to myself Dekalb is gone kick that ass girl. I cant do anything for her, IM practically Married(something to be discussed later). After I got off work I went back furniture shopping and finally I got couches and a loveseat. I will get end table for another store cause there was no way I was going to spend another 500 in the store on some tables when I can get them cheaper. Then there is Dekalb2 who is freshly graduated from NIU and knows that it is time for my boo Dekalb1 to go back to NIU. So he is trying to get close to me again. He calls me yesterday and the first thing he said was hey baby. LOL.. I said hey Dekalb! Im not your baby. Then he went into his spill about me acting funnu since I got a BF now and that there is no time in my schedule for him.. LOL.. Well he had his chance. Then this morning the texts I got from him telling me that my dick was great and that I was a good man and he misses me. Well he once again I told him he had his chance and that he show have appreciated me while he had me. He summed it up by saying he was stupid and regret the fact that he made those bad choices. Touch Titty! Me and Chiblknasn have finally come up with the date and time for the housewarming. Im sorry guys bout the invitations not being sent out but Go to Chiblknasn for them cause I forwarded all the necessary info to him. Can someone help me out with the menu! I am not sure what I want have served.... This morning I was just in an uproar because of my hormones raging. I know some of you are thinking DAMN his guy aint putting out, but he is.. I dont want to wear his body out. I think it needs a rest and mine does too to replenish itself. I been thinking that is me and my guy a match made in heaven?

Changes in my life

2006-07-26T10:57:00.000-05:00

Listening too: Your next in Line for a Miracle Shirley Ceaser
Today I want to talk about the changes in my life some good and some not so good. First I am so unhappy with the changes I have made in the last 60 days. Damn I was doing so good losing weight and had lost alot but now im back to being a fat ass. I had lost like 40lbs and got down to a 38 waist. Now I have gained about 20 of the 40 back and im back into a 40-42.. I got my ass back but that aint important I would rather be slim. Its all because im in love with a chocolate man that so much can be done with. I really love when he comes out the oven and is the right golden color. Other is the late night food that my guy likes to eat. I mean we usually get home about 10pm or later and then he wants to eat. I say no and then he persists that you eat with him.. so then im up eating and shit. Then other changes I am happy with: They include me being comfortable being me.. accepting who I truly am. I never realized how horrible I used to act until I lost this one guy whom I liked alot and of course when people reflect on the past. I remember I went to springfield one weekend and we were on our way out and I made a comment about us being gay in public and after he was done fucking with me. He doesnt even want to be my friend just because of that. I guess I was one of those "grown men around who lick they're dicks sucked but then shady in public(Springfield)." I was horrible and there is no getting around it. I remember when me and Winthrop would fight because I would be bi one moment and the next straight and holier than most. Boy was I a trip. Im comfortable as hell now.. to the point where I even show affection to my guy in public.. I dont act like that anymore... Hell im 25 yrs old now.. I would hope that I improved since March of 2005 and especially the years before. Im comfortable being me now..Im sitting here thinking about the old blog I wrote about in my other blog. Feel free to read it im attaching a link.

What do I do?

2006-07-25T20:31:00.000-05:00

Listening too: Jesus Will by The Barrett Sisters
Well a short little update on the relationship issue. Mr. Maurice is not on the market after all. We reconciled some of our differences and made up. I want to thank all for the words of encouragement. I have to give it to him it took a big man to admit he was wrong and that he wants to improve his behavior. My mom wants me to go with her to the funeral homes and start pricing and picking out the funeral home that were going to use for my grandfather who is slowly dying from cancer which is near the end of its course. I dont like death and this is possibly going to be a hard year for me dealing with death. So far 2 people i know are dead one being my grandma. Damn how can you go from having all 4 of your grandparents alive to possibly 2 within months. But none of us no the time nor place in which we will expire on this earth. I just hope that when I do make my transition to be with my father I am surrounded my family. Whats bothering me is the fact that people read my blog and cant comment on the blog but they send me texts, call me, or hit me up on messenger to tell me they're comment. I find that really strange. Then to already had to my already thinking weird the Intern at my job tells me to come here and then she plants a big one on me. " I think I like you" im like wow! This is deep. I dont know what to do because I dont want to hurt her. She is a really pretty lady and is getting her masters in counseling. GOD BLESS HER! She is from INDIA and has a long ass name. Hey if I married her.. she has to take my full name. A M MC... That may be cute. But Mr. Dekalb aint gone kick my ass for messing with someone and especially no girl. Then my boss is on to us.. she calls me in the office and said "leave that girl alone" I aint messing with her. Well stay away from that office. LOL.. Whatever! Well im going to end it here and go look for furniture cause im hoping to have my place laid by the housewarming and if not most def by the time I come back from ATL.

Feelings

2006-07-24T20:55:00.000-05:00

Listening to: GOD BLOCKED IT!

Dang its been about 3 weeks since I been in the blog expressing my thoughts. During these 3 weeks so much has went on. For the most part I would say GOD has been giving me FAVOUR and so many things have been going on where I was blessed on every hand. My little brother wrecked my car and now the person he had the accident with is claiming that he hit him. But my fucking car is tore up from the side. So now Im fighting back with Statefarm because I aint paying for shit. I went to Indianapolis this past weekend to visit my family and then can you believe that it was a sniper on the road shooting at people for no reason. I was rolling on the way back sometimes up to 100mph hey its harder to hit a moving target. Then the perfect relationship I thought I had seems to be on the rocks! Well it seems to me that I come second best to everything when its concerning him. He does not pay attention to me anymore and it seems that if i want attention I have to start a fight or say something off the wall. Who ever thought that Food, a TV, an Ipod,and the computer could take priority over your guy. Im at the point where now im like lets just be friends but he doesnt want that. This would come after yesterday being our one year anniversary of meeting one another. In alot of ways I see the gemini and the Pschology major coming out. I did things just to see if he even paid attention to me. NOPE, i was just as stationary/ not important as my Papa San chair he likes to sit in. All he said to me was whats wrong with you and can you fix me some rice. So I continued on the net looking at emails and cropping pictures. I have not said much to him lately and was hoping that maybe he would say I was being mean and want to go home but he didnt. Last night we slept in the same bed and didnt touch. Damn, if I cant have sex then can I get some kind of attention from you. On the way to work this morning he was asking me once again what was wrong with me. Once again I said nothing why do you say so? "Cause you have not talked in the last couple of days. I didnt say nothing but then I decided to get it off my chest. I' m tired of being second best to everything in the world. Which lead to a short discussion and a phone call when I got to work. A lot has to be discussed and I will keep ya updated. Is Mr. Maurice back on the market... Stay Tuned....

The New Boys Town

2006-07-06T15:11:00.000-05:00

Can you believe I have left my cell phone home? Yes and I know i got hella missed calls and texts. Well Im finally settled in my place and boy am I still tired from the move. Friday was the first night I spent the night in the house with my boo. Saturday, I could not find a Fucking truck to move my shit. I reserved it earlier and by saturday they still had not found me a truck. When I woke up first then I did was call Uhaul and they told me that they would get someone to call me back in 2 hours. Well 2 hours rolled around and still no truck. So I ended up having to move in my 2 cars and my aunts Jeep which took all fucking day and 3 loads later I was in there. Then I had to go back to my aunts house to clean up. My other aunt was there and she thought I was going to move something . Not a chance in hell. I cleaned up my room and went out the door. Of course later back at the apartment I had to start getting shit organized. I never thought people could be so lazy. Well Im talking about my guy and my sister. They pissed me off. Well I set the bed up and my sister went and got in it like she was not going to do shit and she meant she wasnt. My guy sat in the middle of the floor with the laptop and the IPOD looking at me move shit around. Im looking like WTF if you are not going to help then please have the descency to move out of my path so I can get things straightened out. NOPE.. so I walked over him and a few times he got hit and kicked but it was his own fault for not moving. Sunday, we had my mom a suprise birthday party because she is always doing something for someone. Monday was back to work and more work. Tuesday, we were off for Independence day. I was mad because it didnt make sense to be off one day in the middle of the week like that and have to go back. How many of you had to work like that? Finally I have made some progress with the apartment. Well the kitchen is 85% complete, the Front room is 85% Complete, Bathroom needs 100% more work, the dining room area needs about 85%more work, and the bed room needs about another 50%. My mom made me curse her out because she wants to call me and tell me about what I need to do for my father. He needs, he wants, you should! How about I dont give a fuck. This man has done nothing for me in 25+ years and here she wants me to act like he has been the perfect father and that I should be able to turn the other cheek. I dont desire to have a relationship with him, I dont desire to know him and I believe that if he died today I wouldnt go to his funeral. Im sick and tired of her thinking I should be his son. If she keeps it up then we will have the same type of relationship. Today is my grandmothers birthday the one that passed in May. So Im kinda sad because I have been thinking about her alot and I still can not believe that she is dead! I just wish that could have extended her life because she left this lunatic here on this earth for people to deal with. Lastly, "The New Boy's Town" well thats what I will call my block and the few adjacent blocks. All of the people in the neighborhood are gay. When I drive up and down the streets all I see is Dykes and Fags in such enormous numbers. Hell I even met one guy whom we will call east side of the street. LOL.. he was cool. LORD, the gay parade might be held on my block next year!

Moving is for the birds

2006-06-30T09:06:00.000-05:00

First I want to thank GOD for my my apartment and tho im very grateful i'll have to say that moving aint for me. Next I would like to thank all my readers who sent your congrats! Well I have not been paying attention to blogs this week due to my packing my things and moving which is not an easy task. Im so tired! Cash and My boo have been helping to move some things over in my car but hell it only fits so much. The official move in is tommorow and im looking forward to it. The only thing I dont like about my apt is the bathroom but I have now devised a plan to fix it to my likings! Now that im leaving for good my aunt seems to be a little sad because im leaving but hey she pushed me out. Everyone can look forward to the housewarmings being in August sometime. Im going to have one for Blood Family and another for FAMILY. My mom will probably coordinate the one for the blood family and ChiBlknAsian is going to coordinate the other one. Remember to get gift reciepts. He wants me to register at Target, Walmart, and Pier One which I'll do so by the middle of the month. This brings me to some things I have noticed about my neighbors. They are all family or at least Family friendly. The neighbors across the parking lot have a medium sized Pride flag in the window and the neighbors across the street have a big ass RAINBOW across they're front windows. All I could do was laugh and damn this is going to be a great summer. Im almost sure my next door neighbors are lesbians or switchhitters. LOL... Anytime you like, feel free to stop by the cable is already working and I got couches and chairs for you to sit on.. I have no food yet so bring your own. LOL... Right now Im at work wishing I was at home in my bed cause im whopped!

Update

2006-06-28T03:01:00.000-05:00

Startin with Friday being a good day for me I got paid so I knew I would be moving out soon. The one place in Hyde Park I really liked was playing games with me. Here it has been two weeks and no one had called me back telling me if I had the place or not. I have been calling them everyday and still they are giving me No answers. So I said FUCK THEM ill find me a new place and they will refund me my deposit. Saturday I worked and then went out for the evening with Cash and Dekalb. We went up North to kick it and see what the Crowd was up too. I ran into some associates, former pieces, and Chi Blk N Asian. From what I could tell in the car he is a nice guy. Sunday was Pride and I actually had a real good time up there. I didnt see many of my past sexual pieces like I saw last year. It was a great event. The highlight of my day was when I saw these two fags fighting on the CTA. It was hilarious! They beat the shit out of one another and beat the shirts off each other. One of them had his stomach taped up with duct tape. LOL.. OMG... Can you believe that? I was like oh my GOD! If you fat then you fat aint no trying to hide it? Im fat and aint no way im taping shit up. I've been on vacation all week and finally I got a place. Ive been moving my stuff in there slowly and I will fully be in there this weekend. I am so HAPPY! Im happy to be away from my nagging, full of shit ass family. I have never met people who for the hell of it bothers people. How about getting a fucking life and stop bothering me!?

SO HE IS HAVING MY BABY!

2006-06-19T15:50:00.000-05:00

My bad peeps I know I have not been keeping the blog updated but Maurice has been hella busy. I've been working three jobs....1 Ft job as a Counselor/Casemanager/social worker...1 pt job as a home based Counselor... and another doing Interior Decorating. I have been very tired and Ill be glad when I go on Vacation next week to chill the fuck 0ut. This was a great weekend. I spent 75% of it with my baby. It is my motto that "If you go looking for something then you will find it." Well thats exactly what my baby did. He decided he wanted to go through my texts to see what I have been saying to people and what they had been saying to me. Walmart2 decided he wanted to text me and tell me I was not going to use him for sex and that he was not my rebound. Im like dawg I dont like you and I aint on that. Luckily im not the cheating type if I would have given him something to see. Friday I went on to my co-worker house to finish prepping her house for painting and getting the last of the furniture out and the carpet up. I so wanted to mess around in her house but we didnt out of respect for her. My baby was like I dont want you to talk to such and such and anymore. I was like fine. So he erased like 30 numbers out my phone. LOL.. Ok since he wanted to play like that I did the same to him. On Saturday I got up and worked from 8 until 5 and then me and Lilbdbrown went out with Cash for his birthday. We met up with one of our Fellow Chicago Bloggers by the name of E at Papadeux. It was a nice restaurant and I could see myself going there again. E was cool and too quiet for me. I was NO WAY will you meet me after almost a year and not say anything. So me being the socialite and the outgoing person I got him to talk. Thanks for the compliment at Dinner! LOL.. Then I went and picked up my baby and the four of us went to Jackson Park. We went to my mom's after I dropped everyone off. All im going to say is between Saturday night and Sunday Morning was a DAMN great time for the both of us. Iwill not get into specifics but it was Mind blowing and back breaking! He almost got me to compromise myself, but I didnt. Sunday was church as usual. I was totally not feeling the guest pastor we had. He str8 blew me. My family really annoys the fuck out of me. From my momma with her psychosis and granny and her boat addiction. They got all these problems and the nerve to want to tell me about my addiction to SEX and MEN. LOL! Then today my mom blows me again by telling me that me and my guy arent going to last a lifetime. I say WHY NOT? Because your not fucking being with a man for the rest of your life. Your going to get married and have some kids. "No Im not" "Yes you are." Whatever LADY! So finally when she was done arguing she said well I guess "THOSE KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS" can have children too. LOL, I replied Im workin on getting him pregnant now! She got mad and got off the phone. SHE KNOWS I AM HER CHILD so I dont know why she goes there with me. I can't wait til he gives BIRTH!

Creator of our own Insecurities

2006-06-08T10:26:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a day of questions and free lanced thoughts from me. On yesterday morning my day started out with me cursing one of my acqaintances out. He has to be the stupidess fags in Chicago. I cursed his ass out for like 30 minutes because he acts as if he is slow or just dont want to understand what the fuck your saying to him. Then all he did was sit and hold the phone which made me even madder. He is one of those people that call and ask you for advice and then don’t want to hear what you have to say. Why even ask me? Then he told me that they broke up and now they back together. He constantly jumps back and forth with this guy. I asked why do you keep doing this? "I love him," I told him he was stupid and he didnt love him nor did the boy love him... then told him he is nice looking, slim, and can do a whole lot better than that. He can have most of the people he wants..I said stupid muthafucker how in the hell can you say you love someone and you dont know what love is. With that I hung up the phone cause I was tired of wasting my breath. He has worn all his friends out talking about this guy. The moral of the story is "if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, swims like a duck, then it is a duck! With that he is mad at me and I don’t care. Now on to more important issues.. I looked at 2 apartments yesterday. I liked both of them. One was a bit small and the other was kind of hood. But I could do either of them. Got appointments to look at 5 more this week and then im going to make a decision on Monday. Last night I asked my aunt could my guy come over. Surprisingly she said yeah. I felt stupid being a grown ass man and having to ask can I have company. The only stipulation is that he could not sleep in the bed with me and guess what she did? She got up in the middle of the night like a fucking no life having stalker and made sure we were not sleeping in the same bed. I’m like "will you take your ass to bed and stop walking around waking me up." It is my belief that we are the creators of our own insecurities. I have found myself thinking things in my head that probably don’t happen and are not happening. But once I believe it, it’s not changing my mind. An acquaintance of mine was telling me he had a dream that his guy was cheating and that he did not care about him. It turned to the point where he had it in his mind and began to feel insecure about his guy. He began to ask him if there was someone else and question after question. But nothing was going on. Often I think that is the reason why people cheat is because they think in their heads that their significant others are messing with someone else so they have to match that so they run right out and get them someone else. Other things that play into it is if they are not satisfying you. Two people need to be sexually compatible and both need to want to have sex if the other wants to do it. No sense in a very sexual person dating a person who doesnt care to have sex often because it will lead to people running out to meet someone else to make up the difference. If you have ever cheated what made you do it? I have never cheated but the thought has crossed my mind.

Im back in Business

2006-06-06T12:07:00.000-05:00

Well its been a long two weeks since I wrote in here and so much that I will leave out simply because I aint gone remember what all went down since then. Im feeling a lot better than I was feeling. I did not take the death of my grandma well(not that I should). My baby was very supportive to me the whole time. From the day I went on beureavement leave he was right there by my side every day and every night. Thats the longest time we have ever spent with one another at a time. I got to know him more personally and intimately. Check this out.. he wants me to become a Versetop! I have not let anyone hit in years. It will probably kill me.. what should I do? It all ended on one sunday morning when my faggot ass cousin saw him leaving my house and called my aunt talking shit about him being there. So now he is not allowed to come back to my house. FINE! I hope that she did not think that would stop me from seeing him. I go see about everyday or ill go and get him and we will go out or go to my moms house. I dont know what my families whole issue is about me doing what I want to do. I did not offend anyone. I dont ask anyone for anything. I dont impose my lifestyle on them. Being a Bi/homosexual whatever I am,LOL, I have done a lot more than all of the "straight" men in my family. I have never been to jail, been in any kind of trouble, and I dont live off of no one. Better yet I went to college and got a degree, a ft and pt job, a new car, take care of me, and live so that I am happy. Whats the harm in that? Some people will never get it. Its because of shit like this that families grow apart. They surely are making me not like them and cant wait to get away from them. My apartment search has been sucessful and I have found some places but my family does not want me to live there and the S.O. has a problem with it. Im looking are we going to be living together or what. As far as I was concerned he would come and visit not be a live in; I guess he has a different agenda. Question: Do you think lovers should co-habitat? Yesterday, I was mowing the lawn at the house and my faggot ass cousin comes over and tries to annoy me by sitting and watching me. Of course I dont say a word to him cause I dont like him. Dolton was over so he walks over to her and says to her, "You need to hurry up and marry him to "straighten" him out." Im like what the fuck nigga?! What type of hating, cockblocking, tea spilling shit is that? I told her she should have said to him when he stops being a fag. He think no one knows his tea but I do. All my friends think he is gay. He is just hating on me cause he cant be himself. He thinks just because he lives with a girl and has children he is not gay. Its plenty of gay me that has children and a girl. He hides it when he beats them and tries to hide it. What you think about this shit? I expect some feedback!

Adult Film Star

2006-06-06T12:05:00.000-05:00

You're an ideal match for being an adult film star!

Right, lights, camera, action! We get the impression that you're a confident person who likes to make the most of the assets in your life. This makes you an obvious match for some home film making. We're not suggesting that you need a cast of thousands, the obligatory moustache, or creative topiary for the nether regions. But we do think you'd see yourself in an entirely new light. Obviously this can be a daunting prospect. After all, there are some angles that nature just did not intend us to see, but there's no need to see it as a potential Blair Witch Project. If sex with your partner is fun, then it might be almost as much fun to watch yourselves afterwards. It may even tempt you into having seconds. Just be wary of your partner selling the footage to Internet sites – you could end up with a career in reality TV shows!

HAPPY 25TH Birthday to me

2006-05-23T08:45:00.000-05:00

HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY TO ME! Today is like any other day, but today has a special meaning to me. Its my 25th birthday, this is special monumental birthday. I have lived ironically 1/4 of my life, if I live by the bible I only have 45 more years promised to me, and I crossed over into a new age range. I just thank GOD for allowing me to see another year because I should have been dead when..... and ...... and but of course ............. LORD I truly thank you for what you have done. Im waiting on Statefarm to do a reduction in my insurance premium by 30%.

Transition from LIFE TO LIFE

2006-05-22T12:42:00.000-05:00

**Listening too** BLESS YOUR NAME BY: Apostle Donald Alfred

Saturday turned out to be a day of many events. First I went to the hospital with and chilled with my grandma who at that time was alert and letting us know she was trying to recover. I left there and went to get the car washed, get My boo, and pick up Cash. We all then rolled out to a picnic that we had been invited too. We stayed there for a while and then went to my moms house to set up for this birthday party that they were having for me and my sister on Sunday. We left there, I dropped Cash off, and me and baby went home after picking up some Harold's and Bacardi. We eat our food and got drunk and then........... We woke up and I took him home while I ran to the hospital to check on my grandma. Today was not as good as the the previous 48 hours. I then realized that GOD was ready for her to come home with him. Nothing to seemed to be right and it boiled down to it that her body was preparing to die and her soul to exit her body. Her body temperature was 34 and the Blood pressure was 60/40 and she was not responding to me. I stayed a little longer and accepted it as what it was. I then went to my mom's house for the best 25th birthday party(Although it was 2 days early cause its May 23rd) I could imagine having. All my close friends were there and my man. Thanks Cash for the Gift, oh believe me it will be used. I had to thank my mom, grandma, and my moms husband because it was really great. The food was good to me at least and the 26 bottles of alcohol that we drank before we left. Ill admit the whole party was fucked up including Cash and I. I dont know how I made it home but Im glad I made it there safely. About 3am this morning the phone rang and I knew then that GOD called her home.. I refused to answer the phone because I was scared to hear what they would say on the other end. I listened to the message and it confirmed exactly what I thought.. She was GONE! I screamed with grief on the inside. It really bothered me so bad that I could not sleep for the rest of the night. I was so sluggish trying to get out the house this morning. I was late for work and everything. I didnt care cause I should have stayed home.. So now im sitting here feeling like throwing up and crying on the inside.. PRAY FOR ME.. Ill come to work tommorow but then Ill take the rest of the week off and spend some time with my dad..

**Rest In Peace** Odessie Brown Smith 7/6/1928 to 5/22/2006

REST IN PEACE

2006-05-18T22:19:00.000-05:00

Today totally not being one of the best days of my life. My started at about 6am when I got up and took my shower and got ready for work.. I knew when I got up something was not right because I had that " " In my stomach.. I cant even explain it. I made it about half the way to work and my phone rang.. It was my Aunt Kathy...telling me the my grandma is really sick. Im like whats going on? " Well basically to some it up your grandma had some kind of heart ailment and was not expected to live.. I needed to come to the hospital and say my goodbyes while she was still living." So I continued on to work. As soon as I walked through the door... I began to break down.. All i could do was sign in and run to my office because I was not able to do anything else. All of a sudden I could hear swarms of people in my office talking to me and handing me tissue.. but I didnt know what was going on because I was out of it... Finally I calmed down and went to the Hospital.. I walked in the room to find my grandma in a coma..on a respirator and not responding to stimuli of any kind. I talked to the Nurses and doctors... and they told me she was breathing only because of the respirator and that it was nothing else that they could do for her. I knew already that she had made her transition on Tuesday night when it happened. Im really hurt...and sad. I have never experienced death this close to me. I been a mess all day and trying to deal with it. Ive been crying all day and Im trying to make it. As of today our family has not given the authorization to remove the respirator but we plan to do it in the next couple days. Pray with me and for me while I am going through all of this because it is a really trying time for me.

Im his child

2006-05-15T11:27:00.000-05:00

What a long weekend and I am glad that is it over. After I got off work I talked to one of my"I dont know what to call him" and we had a long talk about somethings that have been going on. I ended the conversation by saying we can be friends and we need to sit down and talk. Friday night Cash and I attended one of our friends Graduation party which was cool. His friend whose supposedly " straight" showe d his ass and the fact that he is family indeed. LOL.. He had never been to boystown so we took him up there. I looked up and realized that niggah was switching, snatching, and poppin up and down N. Halsted Street. At one point he crossed the street and did a spin for us. LOL.. We then we went in Roscoe's and got some watered down ass drinks.. WTF, its 2 something in the morning and I could care less. These boys walked past us and said "They're boys" LOL... he says HONEY COME and GET IT.. WTF... all of us who are "Family" aint say shit and here this "STraight" man talking shit.. WHAT AN EVENING! My baby was drunk and called me talking shit.. Damn I was tired and i was like ok baby. Saturday I went to my Sisters graduation, picked up my client, and then went to eat with my family. After that I picked up My baby and came home and I hit the bed immediately. Boy was I tired! I got up in the middle of the night to find a disturbing IM from Co-worker.. telling me she doesnt approve of my lifestyle. She went on to tell me" ... what ever you do with your personal life is your business. It is not up to me to dictate what your preferences are. I dont like what you do this is true cause its offensive to our Lord and its putting your life and your health in jeapordy....." I didnt know what to do.. I was in a state of shock! Here this is someone I tell all my inner most secrets too and now to find out she dont want to hear that shit really tore me up inside. Sunday being Mothers day.. I went out to my moms/grandmas after I dropped my baby off. I even went to see my dads mom who I had not seen in a while. She did not seem to be doing to well. And finally after 24yr 356 days I finally had the approval of my father. He finally claimed as his.. This made me happy and overjoyed...

I have really Fucked it up now.

2006-05-11T10:43:00.000-05:00

Its Over and its all my fault! I was determined to make it work but turns out when the pressure is on me I fold and give in to temptation. I have really fucked it up! I have an addiction I cant control and someone needs to help me get control over it. Im so addicted that I cant stop and one just doesnt do it for me. I started with trying one, then another, and so on. Damn! I feel so bad right now. All the time vested and its all going down the drain. I like em milk chocolate to dark chocolate with an occasional white chocolate thrown in there . I like the ones that are thick, there is nothing better than a thick, chocolate......... UHMmmmm.. All I got to say is that Im sorry for wasting time and money. Look at everyone reading this thinking like Damn Maurice done lost it and is a hoe cheating on his guy like that. GET YOUR MINDS out the gutter! Never will I mess around on him. But what I fucked up is my weight loss plan. I have an addiction to sugar! I love cookies, cakes, and pies.. especially cookies. Chocolate chip and Oatmeal raisin. I've been stressed and that was always my comfort food during stressful situations so I folded under pressure and started eating the shit again now I cant stop. I have not been to Bally's in about a week wasting my damn money. Im going to have to get my ass in gear. I was going to try and stay away from it until my birthday but there are too many birthdays and holidays in between. Hell the majority of my family is bunched into two months. My Dad, Uncle, Grandma, grandfather, Godmother, co-workers, sister, and then mine Fall from April 15th until May 23rd. I will have to stop eating it before I gain all of it back.. I am noticing it already cause my ass is getting FAT AGAIN, which I dont mind cause it was the first to go away when I first started losing weight. But now stomach is getting bigger and I aint liking that one bit... I need to increase my cardio, sexercise, and divorce them damn cookies,cakes, and pies! I need some motivation does anyone want to help me?

Baby Dont Worry BOUT THEM

2006-05-08T23:27:00.000-05:00

Its been a while since I hit the blog. So many thing have happened that I aint gone discuss but I am glad to be in the land of the living. Right now my financial situation is horrible and I wish it was so much better.. Pretty soon it will all get better, I will be moved by June 1, and Ill have more money. I know my current living situation will change cause I cant live with my aunt any longer. Friday night I went out to dinner with my boo and we had a chance to discuss some more issues that we were. Im really loving this communication thing that I am able to express myself with such clarity instead of holding it back. I took my client to Hollywood Park and he damn near killed me. My body is really showing me that I am getting older. Early saturday morning I got up at 5:30 and made my way down to my Alma Mata to see my children graduate. I felt old as hell when they said all EASTERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY ALUMNI please stand! I was like DAMN im old as FUCK! Also, my old roommate, ex best friend, and lil/big brother graduated. It actually hurt me so much to see him.. I had not seen him in months and were not on the best of terms right now.. But it was finally closure on my life for I knew that Saturday was going to be the last time I'd ever see or talk to him again. Enough about that! So Saturday my aunt calls me and I didnt answer cause I was at the graduation. Then she calls my granny and tell her that I came in the house at 330 and left at 530. She need to get her times right cause I was at home at 12 something and I didnt leave until a quarter til 6. I was extremely tired the whole way back that I came in and jumped right in the bed. My aunts grandson was over and he was running back and forth ove r my head.. Im like dammit so I got up and took a shower. She then asked me did I know that I had not slept in the last couple of days. Im like yeah I know but whats it to you. So this makes it the third time this week that she has overstepped her boundaries. First it was earlier this week at 645am she was asking me why did I park MY CAR across the street. Does she have a life? Then she wanted me to do something as she sees that im walking out the door. Finally I made to the Pizza parlor to have dinner with Cash. Sunday I went to a graduation party for my daughter and thats when all the hell broke lose. Turns out one of the guys there is friends with my ex.. So the whole time he was checking out my GUY and then went back to my ex and made up this bullshit ass lie talking about he is ugly and basically he is a hott mess... WTF! I actually think my man is quite GOOD LOOKING and sexy. I wouldnt have it any other way. Today we took our clients to U.S. Cellular Field today on a job tour.

Very nice! On my way to work... I get a text from my ex The A telling me about what his busted ass friend said about my guy. Im like all you fags are entitled to your opinions but I know he looks good. In all actuality he looks better than him and his punk ass friend. I LOVE him and IT dont matter what anyone says or how he looks.. I'll love him anyway because I am an UNCONDITIONAL lover. Whatever way you are when I get you is how I accept you and even if you deviate from it, my mind wont be changed. SO BABY CHEER UP! Chill out and hurry home so I can make it all better. I was saddened to find out that a member of my choir when I was in college passed away.. She was young and then to top it off my grandfather has Prostrate cancer and there is nothing they can do. ITs gone be a long night.

MY SPECIALTY

2006-05-05T20:45:00.000-05:00

I can be such a bitch at times! The new me is a lethal bitch.. I just tell you how I feel and fuck you after that. I specialize in letting my words come at your ass like a double edged sword that go through and cut your ass up and leave you to die and before you die I spit my venom on your lifeless ass body signifying that you dont mean shit to me. I specialize in letting you know your the scum of the earth, its my duty to keep the world clean. I specialize in ridding the world of such pestilence! Damn, I finally got rid of this bitch. -M.Maurice Caples

Today has been one of those days....I know Ill make it through. Holla at yall later.

I dont want you!

2006-05-03T12:34:00.000-05:00

Well the weekend has come and gone. I did not spend any time with my boo. At first I was a little angry but then I got over it cause he had things to do. I joined Balley's on this past weekend and has been working out at least one hour a day. It is my plan to be down some more by my 25th birthday. Saturday I spent my day in Indiana with my family. My grandmothers birthday was Sunday so i was running around Indiana trying to find gifts, cards, and cakes for her. Im so glad that she is not hard to please cause i was trying to hurry and get from that part of Indiana. Sunday I did my regular routine of church and then Sunday evening I had to have a long talk with my boo. I believe now we have an understanding. I know that communication is the key to a sucessful relationship, but when I get angry I tend to withdraw and communication is the last thing on my mind. But after coaching I believe I open up and begin to talk. Monday morning, I get up for work and started sneezing.. OH WHAT THE HELL?? So this went on all day. I get off work and I have the hardest time trying to leave my job for the abundance of Immigrants walking up and down the street. I am not trying to offend anyone who is hispanic... but they cant drive nor can they cross the streets right. DAMN it end your damn protest when people are not getting off work. Bad enough traffic already sucks ass in Chicago now to add to the traffic, thousands of *******,*******, and ***** all in the damn way delaying us even further. I worked both jobs sneezing and snotting all day. After I got off I went up to Dekalb to take my boo back to school. I ended up staying the night since it was so late. We didnt want to disrespect his STR8 roommate so I slept in the bed and he slept on the floor. The white cunt or his dizzy ass girlfriend didnt say shit to me as if I wasnt sitting there.. finally he spoke.. She went back to her room and I guess they were talking shit about via IM. I left at 6:30 Tuesday mornning thinking I would make it to work by 8, not even, I made it around 9. LATE! whatever! Finally he sends me a text message telling me he was going to beat his roommates ass. Of course we all know why. He was talking shit about me spending the night up there. "He felt weird sleeping in the room with a gay man" WTF thats the same GAY man you have been sleeping in the room with since August. Furthermore, your white, skinny, scrawny, and dirty which has never been my type you blond haired blue eyed Devil. I should have slept on the floor with my boo and really made him mad. I was like next time I go up there Imma str8 check shawty and him to keep my name out his mouth for he catch a black fist in his mouth. I got HAY FEVER so now im really irritated by the constant itching of my throat, eyes, and ears. Im tired of blowing my nose and I want it to hurry and past. Damn, has anyone noticed that gas is high as fuck. I remember when I could fill up my car on $25 and it took me $41 dollars to fill up(SCREAMING). Quick Question: If I were your friend and I went out with someone that you have you want nothing to do with and could care less about this person, do you think it is wrong of me to tell you that I just went out with Subject A? Well it happened to me.. I didnt get angry or upset but I couldnt fathom the idea of why would someone tell me that information when they know how I feel about the other person. But maybe its just me overreacting. Happy Birthday to my boy from the ATL, PJ, he turned 19 today. Today Im taking it easy, I didnt go to work this morning. I simply basked under the influence of allergy medicine. Im on my way to the other office to submit my consultant notes and mileage for the month. Also to pick up any new cases that Ill be assigned for MAY.

Commitment

2006-04-29T18:42:00.000-05:00

The rest of my work week was hell. I know I lost some weight because it was very hard work. Last weekend when my baby was here I asked him if he would wear a commitment ring if I bought one for him, his answer was yes. So now im thinking of getting us rings to signify our commitment to one another and to a monogamous relationship..We both agreed that we dont believe in gay marriage and if we did exchange rings NO CEREMONY would take place. What do you out there in the blogging world think about commitment rings? Personally if you love a person I think you can take the step forward and make the commitment. The last few days I have been strange, It seems like it was the week of the EXES. They all were calling trying to get back with me or whatever it was that they were doing. First there was Dekalb2, who told me FUCK yo Nigga. If I want some you gone give it to. Oh so certain, huh? Well he called me at 12:30 this morning talking about come and see him. LOL, I was like let me call you back and turned over and went to sleep. No one is going to set me to cheat. Besides I would not put myself in the position to be tempted. Then there was my ex THE A who texted me and told me he loved me more now than he did when we were together. I simply told him well I love who I am with now and no one is going to make me mess that up. Last night I took him out to his parents house. I was sitting there minding my business and out comes his parents. LORD! They shook my hand and then his mom kneeled downside my car and said "Do yall go to school together?" No, mam, I graduated already. LOL.. "Oh well how old are you?" LAUGHTER was her answer. She asked me again and then told me it is ok, we dont have a problem with the old dating the young. Look at his daddy and I. Im thinking like what is she trying to say. Was she clocking tea? His dad went in the house and she was like "BABE" is this your boyfriend? LOL.. He was like huh? She asked him again and I was bursting up in laughter. Finally he said yes thats my boyfriend. She told me dont hurt her baby and all this other stuff. I met my IN-LAWS. LOL! Now Ive shut the world down, my baby is home this weekend and I hope I will get to spend time with him this weekend.

Traffic

2006-04-26T21:10:00.000-05:00

This has been a long week already and it is only wednesday.. They have been working us like Hebrew slaves. I can honestly say that for the last couple of weeks I have worked for my salary. My baby was home this past weekend and we spent alot of time together. Friday I almost had to snap on Walmart2. He texted me telling me he wanted to see me that night so we could get together. I politely told him no and that right now we had to be friends because I was seeing someone. He became very angry with me because it was not what he wanted to hear. He accused me of making him feel like a hoe and that I really didnt get how I did so.. but hey its whatever. Saturday I decided to go out up North with a co-worker and met my old girlfriend and her friend at Club Spin. I really had a great time there. The people there really had my ROTFL. You had this white boy who knew he was black. So he kept dancing with me. Then you had this black guy that was dancing with all these white guys. He was basically fucking with clothes on. Then there was this blk guy who was all weird and shit. He would dance with you and then feel all over your entire body like he was sizing you up and what not. LOL.. So I thought he was only doing it to me and I saw him doing it to other people.. I was saying to myself FUCKING WEIRDO! I went home and spent a very passionate morning with my baby. This traffic has been the worst everyday this week so far. I have never been late to work ever until they started this Dan Ryan Bullshit. It is literally driving me crazy. It doesnt even matter if I leave out earlier or not.. I seem to still run late. Then the stupid ass drivers out there... I changed my route and believe it or not others found my route now its crazy. PRAY FOR ME!

Conviction

2006-04-19T15:37:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got off work and went to my other job and as I was sitting there I began to feel convicted about my behavior on yesterday. I am not much of a curser anymore and beginning to grow more into a man. I then wrote Starbucks an email calling it off because we're too old to be going back and forth like little children or even worse, FAGS! I will make a public confession in saying sorry for snapping on him. Sometimes he just doesnt know when to keep his mouth closed about things he knows nothing about. I spent over an hour yesterday asking for GOD to forgive for sinning against him. Ill say it again, LORD I REPENT OF MY SINS and ask for your forgiveness for my thoughts, actions, and the words I spoke, AMEN! Last night my baby had to go to the Hospital and I was very concerned but he is fine. I had some work to get done at work so I didnt do much chatting or blog reading on today. Im striving to be nice to everyone of today and not go Gemini on today. Then this doned on me, WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE ALWAYS WANT YOU TO READ THEIR BLOGS AND LEAVE COMMENTS? BUT THEY NEVER RETURN THE FAVOR? I dont get that concept, its always been my motto to never ask someone to do something that your not willing to do yourself. I been sitting here also thinking about my 25th birthday which is to come in 28 days. Dang, Im getting old and need to be accomplishing some more things by the time Im 25, like moving out. Thats more important than anything else to me. Being 25 will lower my car insurance by $50 dollars which can go towards my rent. The money im paying on bills around the house can go towards my rent. Well, thats it Im moving by the end of next month and if not then Especially June 1. It never amazes me to sit around with a bunch of Social Workers. Im the only guy in my department and the woman really amaze me. Todays topic was sex as usual. The main point was how many times a week should a person have sex? My answer was at least 4 times for it to be a healthy sexual relationship. A woman in her 50's said everyday and I could agree with her but at least 4x's a week is healthy. Another co-worker who is 26 said she could do it 3x's a year and she would be happy. I would die! A study I read in the Chgo Sun Times a while back stated, "Those that have sex more frequent live longer." I need to do it everyday then! My Question to you is how many times a week do you think that a person should have sex? And out of those days how many times a day?

People in glass houses should not throw stones!

2006-04-18T13:08:00.000-05:00

Im still tired from my trip this past weekend. Sunday made a week for me and my baby being back together. . Sunday my granny clocked my tea for me and gave me my time. LOL, all I could do was laugh. First when I came in she was like where is Dekalb but of course she fucked up his name. I was like he is gone back to school. My family likes him and im surprised but thats good. They are pretty impressed with him that my mom made him an Easter Basket for men. AWWW... So I was telling my granny that me and Dolton were going to move in together. "It aint gone work" is the first thing she said. I laughed and then asked why? "Well you wont like it when she brings her boyfriends over and she wont like it when you bring your Friends over. LOLOL, I burst out in laughter and began to cry cause she clocked my tea once again. I said what you talking about Granny? "Nothing" Then she told me I aint mean nothing by it. LOL.. I was going to title this blog clocking my tea but some for some reason unknown to me Satan comes back again to get me starting. First he comments on my blog, saying "Is it just me or do you get a kick out of guys approaching you for sexual encounters? You already know what I said about you. Not that it is your fault...just remember what attracts flies to you! And it's not honey...." Immediately I say this fucker is crazy. So I kicked str8 into Gemini mode and spit some hateful venom at his crazy ass. I mean if Im with someone then why should I not spend time with them. But of course he has to be right and have to last say so... NOT here! I replied a 2nd time with this "Actually you have a problem and need to seek form of help for it. It doesnt matter if I talked about Walmart 1-1,000 that doesnt mean I messed with them and merely can be friends with them. Not once did I write that we fucked around so where did you get that from. Or are you some sick person who gets off on trying to aggravate me. Dekalb never left the picture and he is who started you to acting an ass in the first place. In fact you were jealous that he bought clothes for me and was spending time with me. You could have done the same. I didnt mention anything about a Jackson park freak not once. So where you saw that is beneath me. Maybe in your sick and twisted mind thats what your eyes gave you. You never cease to amaze me! When will you grow up and stop blaming others for what you feel inside. If Im promiscuous then like hell you are too. I know your kind especially you. You are the same person who met one day and was in my bed the next and vice versa. So just like you bedded with me there are others that you are doing it too right rather you decide to say it or not. I will remain faithful to him and never allow some nothing ass cunt to come in between me and my baby. Thats exactly what they are CUNTS and hold no real place in life except biting a pillow or laying on their back! Am I hitting close to you yet. So while your laying up out there tonight with some random niggah off Adam4adam or men4now or whereever you met them. I hope my face pops up in your head and you feel like a Cheap CUNT! But now I have got that out and have to go... .HAVE a nice day and I hope we can be friends when this is over. LOVE YA! MAURICE. TALK TO YOU LATER" Then he had to reply by saying this stupid shit. "Lets clear the air of speculation, shall we please.First, I am not jealous. If Dekalb was not out the picture, then that is why I didn't go any further with you. I know that your hand was in more than one cookie jar. Don't be ashamed, many more men do the very same and I am used to it by now. Next, all information is readily accessible on your posts. (The bathroom scene at Wal-mart to the married employee). You are right...you two may have not had sex, but you even admitted he saw a few "goodies" for the hell of it. Third, I do not find pleasure in aggrevating anyone. Oh please. If I found pleasure it that, I would do it more often. Fourth, no one is in my bed but me. I learned to control myself and not fall subject for anyone too quick for a makeshift love relationship.....that could crumble anytime. Hey, if this thirft relationship suits you...do it! I don't know Dekalb, but I know it was a rush thing from what it appears to be. Lastly, I hope it works out for you. I'm sure you are tired of going from guy to guy. Yes, we as men are sexually active and have those one-night stands...even you! I was not alone in your bed, and we didn't do very much either. Hope your bed is clean.....If you know what I mean....Until next time....I'll be watching." Sounds like jealousy to me. Im clearing the air today and letting it all out. I replied back to him and hopefully this ends this meaningless conversation. " Sure your not jealous of him. Sure you will use any ol excuse to make yourself look better. When I met you we were not talking so you cant use that as an excuse as to why we did not go any further so save that sorry ass line too. The only cookie my hands were touching was yours so dont try that shit. The reason why we didnt work out is probably cause I was not as much of a hoe as you thought I would be. So fucking what I showed my dick to the married man, once again he is someone that you wish were you. I dont have to have sex nor am I offended that people find me attractive by the way a look and the wonderful personality that I have. You dont have a nice personality so that adds to my list of why your single. You find pleasure out of fucking with people and talking like you know every fucking thing about me in this world. YOU dont know shit! Especially not about me. You cant aggravate me because i've finally mastered how to deal with Peons like yourself. Sure no one is in your bed. I believe that like my name aint Maurice and yours SATAN. Your known all over the city as the fucking psychopath and others things so dont pull that bullshit with me. Im sure your keeping your mouth and ass real full these days as you were when we talking. Just admit it you have a problem and you look at yourself through it and try to blame me. BLAME YOURSELF!! I dont have to be promiscuous. I dont have to do any of it. And my relationship with Dekalb is not rushed and surely is not a thrift relationship. I've known him for the last 9 months and by now we should know one another. As a matter of fact I should have waited and never met you. Your worst than anyone I have met. But like I said keep the niggas out your bed. Actually I hope my Relationship works out for me too so I never have to enter the dating scene and run into someone like you ever again in life. You are a horrible/evil person. Why you having all those solemn confessions... how about taking heed to what you pray about. I dont portray to be innocent nor do I portray to never do anything like yourseld but Ill admit what i do. And we did plenty in my bed and on your floor but the point is that you were in there the next day. PROMISCUOUS!!! And dont worry I keep my bed clean and you out of it. Im glad to have some things off my chest and hopefully the next time he tries to piss me off he will think about it before doing it.

HAPPY EASTER

2006-04-16T10:37:00.000-05:00

The decision was made and I was going to Mississippi. So I went and got Dekalb after work and took him to his house. But on the way to his house I rode past Jackson Park and noticed that it was full, Damn thats whassup. Before I could make it through the park good, my phone started ringing asking "did you just ride through?" YEAH!, "So why didnt you stop?" Because I didnt want too. "Well you must got yo man with you!" Yeah I do. "Well talk to me later." I dropped him and called Cash and was like meet me at my house we can go eat and run up to the park. When we got up there, my first made his presence noticed first. Damn, a drunk fag is all I thought. He was over there talking to me and I was like back up. He was trying to holla! So I told him Im involved now and when I wasnt thats when you should have been trying to get some. He wasnt trying to hear and keep asking when I was gone give him some dick. Dekalb called so I left and the 3 of us went out to eat. We can back to the house where I went to sleep and Dekalb was doing something, hell he kept waking me. i journied down the rode to MS. It was really nice, I got to spend time with my boo, we talked, formed a better relationship and while doing all that I was trying to get him in touch with his freaky side. He is so bashful but eventually i got him to break. So the ride down there was great! We got my grandfather and went to the HOTEL! So I went and got in the shower and he came and got in with me. ALL SHIT! It was HOTT & memorable because I had never done anything like that before. I got out and went and got in the bed. He got out and got in the bed with me. I was laying there half sleep and then he kicked it off again. I was already horny so now he was in trouble cause I was finna tare his ass up (literally). It was super hott and it was the first time I had tried some new stuff. We both slept real well in our separate beds after. The ride back was rather boring since my Pops was in the back and we couldnt be freaky coming back. A funny story, we were eating and resting in a restaurant called The Waffle house and the waitress Monica was flirting with me. She wanted some black dick. LOL. I had on jogging pants so there is no telling what she saw. We made it back in about 91/2 hours so that wasnt to bad to had been coming back from about a 100 miles from Jackson, MS. We came back here and I was tired/sad. So I got my itch scratched and I took him home. He did the most amazing thing that I never expected. Before I drove off, he Said "I Love you!" I was so caught off guard I dont remember how I responded. Now im going to buff the bugs off my front end and get ready to go to Grannies house. HAPPY EASTER PEOPLE!

Since When did your problem become mine? I am curious

2006-04-12T15:23:00.000-05:00

So this has been the week for my mom to officially piss me off. Parents never understand that children grow older and grown. So she calls me and tells me that you need to tell your boss your not coming to work because your going to get daddy. I said like hell I am! Im not going and im grown so you cant make me. She got mad at me and hung up! I dont care! So then she calls me back and then tells me that I would be accompanying my uncle down there. No I wont! By now she is fuming and cursing at me. I had to read her really good. I told her that he is her father and not mine and that he has 15 kids and I aint one of them. So yall need to pull together and make it happen. Further more if someone called me and told me it was my daddy I'd tell them to get him to the nearest Greyhound station and tell him not to get off until he made it to Chicago. Call me coldhearted and mean but Personally I dont GIVE A FUCK! I had plans this weekend with my man and my cash and I dont think my life should be affected for them. My momma is a fucking drama queen and needs to be read! I finally got my hair done thanks to Dolton and its not bad at all. It felt good cause it has not been done since February. So finally I agreed to go only with the stipulation of my boo being able to go, me being a nice hotel, and that im back by Saturday so I can kick it with cash since out plans keep falling through. Also, she needs to pay me about 400 and ill pay for my own gas out of it. I dont think im being mean simply cause I got things to do with my money and surprisingly enough none of it includes mileage to Mississippi. But Cash were on as soon as I get back even if its late saturday.

Ive been tagged again

2006-04-11T12:27:00.000-05:00

Hello my name is...

Mr. Maurice & Twin, Babydreds(LOL)I was raised in...Chicago, Illinois

The reason you are reading about me is...

Because I am a 360 and blogspot.com blogger and I've been tagged again. This time I guess to let people know about me.Right Now I'm working on...Looking at my desk and seeing what I need to do. Then calling my other clients and setting up appointments.The first thing I do in the morning is...Praise him and check to see if I got any missed calls or incoming texts.

The last thing I do at Night is...

Talk on the phone

My Momma always said...

"FUCK them MUTHAFUCKERS" and still does, LOL

I love it when people...

Show me attention

I hate it when people...

LIE! Especially those that come up with such elaborate lies when no one asked them anything

If you ever see me walking down the street ask me about...

When we gone kick it!

My notable run-in with the law...

Speeding! Doing 120 in a 70.

This one time at band camp I...

I went out and got head on the picnic table and then Banged them. LOL...

Yo, you see this scar, I got this when I...

Got shot in the leg

The last time I swore I'd never drink was after a Night of...

The weekend before I permanently left my college apartment. Me and this white girl got so drunk that neither of remembered anything. All I know is we woke up in the same bed!

Future Projects and Plans...

Celebrating my 25th, moving out, traveling, Winning some money! Then shopping, getting more tattoos, and maybe a couple more piercings.

And before I leave I'd like to give a shout out to...

All my readers and those that comment. Then to my baby Dekalb, My Guys Cash, P.J.,ProfessorG.Q., & Chiblknasian.......

It's Official

2006-04-10T15:23:00.000-05:00

Another day, minute, and such! Last week was a great week for me because I was being the BEST ASSHOLE I could be to Dekalb. A gemini's moto, if they fuck you, then fuck them back 100x's the way they fucked you. I never knew I could be so evil and vindictive at the same time but finally someone else brought it out of me. He played mind games with me but my mind games were worse and I ended up having to curse him out Thursday,Friday, and Saturday. These were no ordinary curse outs but mere readings that hit you in the stomach. I dont know why but HORNINESS HAS CONSUMED ME! I been horny and hard for what seemed like 7 days straight. Call me a Nympho but jacking my dick surely doesnt help. On saturday i truly felt like being Promiscuous as Starbucks likes to call it. I started to get on A4A and set up me a "Meet and Greet" then I started to go through the phone book and call one of my old dips for a little greeting session but my damn job called a meeting and I was in there for 3 hours and then to my moms and she didnt want me to go. I ran into my ex and he was str8 trying to be on me and get in my draws. So what niggah cause I got a new car! So he been calling saying when can I cum suck that dick? NEVER! Saturday night I finally got to Dekalb to hook up with him and Cash! Cash bailed out on us and left us to fight, argue, and freak! Horny as I was I wasnt going to kick it off so he did by touching me. I played hard to get and got punched in the mouth. LOL.. yeah he hit me in the mouth but that made it hotter especially when I turned the webcam on and let my guy watch us! That was so hott to me! I dont know why I like stuff like that but I guess I am the person who had sex in the park on a picnic table. That didnt last long because he was bashful but Im a freak so It didnt matter to me! I could have done the whole 9! Sunday after church I went and got him and now its OFFICIAL we are back together! YAY! Ive been single since September since we broke up! I woke up at 4am with a massive hard on and couldnt go back to sleep been up since then and battling with my hormones all day. I sent my boss a message saying "I was horny and having trouble concentrating" she sent me one back saying "Me too, my son messed it up!" LOL, well its hot outside and since my bae is gone back to school, I'll go home and wash my car in my boxers like I used to do last year.

Spring Time is in the AIR!

2006-04-07T09:51:00.000-05:00

I know I been M.I.A for about a week, but Im back new and Improved! Finally the Dr.s were able to get rid of those troublesome annoying headaches. That had to be the worst pain i've ever experienced in my life. Its amazing what Morphine can do. But Im prepared I never leave home without my medicine so I can stop an outbreak before it occurs. I've had a lot of time to think while I was off and especially this week. I have been having these crazy ass dreams about people from my past and present. WOW! Every night! I came back to work on Monday, to a mailbox and desk full of work that had to be done. DAMN! Why did I have to be ill. But 90% of it is done so I am happy about that. Monday and Tuesday brought about a day of niggahs playing games. Can someone explain to me why Grown men have to act like children and play games? Walmart 1 is such an immature 28 year old. He is so in the closet that it makes no sense. This stupid cunt waits until his wife is at work and then starts texting people to set up his meet and greet! So I ask him why are you texting me? His asnswer is "you figure it out." What is there to figure out, your married and I am not going to hell for messing with a married man. I told him I am not a child and I am not willing to play these childish ass games. Go home to your wife and children whom takes care of you and leave me alone. His answer was peace until he gets horny again. He dont know how to play his game right. Take your wedding ring off DUMB ASS! Then there is Walmart2 who feels vindicated because he is gay. OK, well I dont know what to tell you. So I told him to live his life for him self because you cant live it for everyone. Then in the next breath his is Horny and needs me to come scratch his itch. I dont have that kind of time either, I dont remember age 18 but I am sure I knew what I want. Then other people have been playing mind games all week. This week I started taking public transportation to avoid the traffic. It has been a rather pleasant experience except when Cheniauqita and her nappy head ass kids are on the train with me. But its all good! I guess the pheremones are running through the spring air cause I sure am HORNY as hell and it seems that everyone I've been talking too is horny too. So whats really going on? Do I need to hit both the Walmarts, Starbucks, Dekalb, Or someone else from my past up for a little greet session? LOL.. I know I am acting up. I guess something else is going on with me.. I aint being so mean anymore.... On yesterday I talked to Winthrop and Starbucks, WOW! Especially to Starbucks (I actually answered the phone) and then I texted EIU whom I had no contact with since December 31, 2005.

I've been tagged! SO here it is

2006-04-06T20:46:00.000-05:00

If you were to be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?

I would go shopping and get the best clothes and pumps money can and walk around downtown and pull all the niggahs

If you had to name the most difficult thing about being a teenager today, what would you say?

Just wondering is my life going to spared!

If you had to name the most embarrassing moment of your life, when was it?

This past summer me, cash, and winthrop went to a hotel party. Me and Winthrop got so drunk that we were both throwing up and Cash had to drive us home. The Fucker threw up all in my car.

If you had to name the most overrated actor in Hollywood, who would it be?

George Clooney

If you had to name the one personality trait that you have tried the hardest to change in yourself, what would you say?

My evil, vindictive, farceuses ass personality.

If you could go back for one minute to the Garden of Eden and give Adam advice, what would you say?

Pussy will make you do some crazy things so don’t listen to it.

If you were to name the best “I told you so” you ever got to deliver, what was it?

When I told a former friend of mine that his man was cheating on him and I was able to prove it.

If you were Madonna, what would you do for your next publicity stunt?

I don’t know! Hell she has done everything so what’s left for me to do.

If you could have a lifetime 50 percent discount in any single store at your local mall, which store would it be in?

Marshall Fields and Company

If you could have one more pet, what kind would you get, and what would you name it?

I want a Cheetah and I would name him Cornflake.

If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would you want it to be?

I would ask for Prosperity over the WORLD, hell we are in a bad time.

If you could spend next New Year’s Eve doing anything, what would you do, and with whom?

I would have a big party and when it was over I would spend the rest of it with my baby(???????)

If you were to set your country’s immigration policy, what would it be?

The visas would expire after 90 days. TAKE YO ASS HOME!

If you were given the power to settle the issue of gays in the military, what policy would you set?

I would allow gays to be themselves but maintain the dignity and respect as an officer.

If you could have one person you have lost touch with call you up tonight and invite you to dinner, who would you want it to be?

It would have to be Springfield! He is such a great lover! Puerto Ricans know how to take care of their men.

If you could change on thing about your love life, what would it be?

I would learn to love harder.

If you could have prevented one book from ever having been written, which book would it be?

On the Down low… He is such an asshole and thinks he knows it all.. He Doesn’t

If you have to name the best music album ever recorded, which would you select?

Fantasia’s CD…. It has so much truth and meaning

If you could have one thing made out of pure gold, what would you choose?

A statue of my lower Half, while ERECT(waist down to ankles)
If God were to whisper one thing in your ear, what would you like Him to say?

Well Done GOOD and Faithful servant, Enter into the GATES

Thought for the day????

2006-03-31T12:32:00.000-06:00

When I got up I called the Dr's office to find out if my CT scan had been scheduled and they told me no. That sometime next week it may be scheduled I snapped on the nurse on the phone and let them know I would be reporting them to the proper people and that they would not have to worry about me coming back there I would go to another Dr who cares about their patients. She then said go to the emergency room! WHATEVER HOE! Well my yesterday was spent sitting in the hospital with Intravenous lines coming out of my arm. I got stuck with the needle several times because my veins kept pushing the needles back out. Finally, this one nurse came in and forced a needle in and she made it stay. Then the CT scan revealed that everything is intact but I got some serious migraines and will have to go see an outpatient doctor for those. They want me to rest for the next 2-3 days, refrain from stressful environments, not to eat red meat, find out what stresses me and stay away from that, etc... Ok.. Kool not a problem. Dolton came up there when she got off work and gave me her spill on things on why I have the migraines. First she told me to many people on my mind at once. A whole bunch of important stuff that I need to take heed too. My mom managed to piss me off again today because she said lets go to MS to check on daddy. I simply told her NO once again because Im not up for a trip. Im supposed to be in bed resting and relaxing. She went on to tell me "thats your grandfather and what if he dies?" Well I am not GOD and can not spare his life so I guess it doesnt matter HUH? With her being such a drama queen that she is I clearly got off the phone cause she was making my head hurt. She is one of the few people that are part of my stress. Thought for the day and every day thereafter? Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt,fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)... whatever it is... You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing... He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you. The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He forgets .. It is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved and always remember: God is at the window.

Its time to stop the rain from pouring

2006-03-29T21:24:00.000-06:00

Last night I went to Osco to pick up the new meds the Doc gave me. I needed them cause my head was killing me. I mean I was losing my sight and going deaf at the same time, thats how intense the pain was. I stopped by co-workers house and sat in a chair with an ice compress on my forhead and a cold towel on the back on my neck. Then I finally get up and go home and my mom calls me crying and all irrate telling me my Grandfather had suffered a stroke and a heart attack. OH WOW! Now something else to add to my list of worries.. But im not gone worry about him or anything else right now cause my health is whats important right now. I woke up this morning and layed in bed because I didnt want to stir my head up and make it start hurting again. I layed there for about an hour and a half and then decided it was time to clean my room and get my life insurance papers out, Car term life insurance papers, and my paper with my wishes out for my family should something happen to me. I didnt touch the HELL-O-PHONE and anyone calling or texting it would hear from me whenever. I saw it flashing a few times but I pressed the stop button and went on about my day. If a person doesnt call the house phone then they wont be talking to me. Around eleven my head started hurting again so my pill popping day started and I couldnt go get my CT Scan because the dumb doctor didnt set it up. Ok so now Imma have a law suit against the Dr's office too. So now I have all that in order I continued to throughly clean my room until I threw it all away. Then I thought out some blogs to write then I decided not too but keep them close to my heart. It time for me to worry about Maurice and not another person on this earth. Its time to let people be, to not let people get to me, stop stressing over things in which I cant change. IT's TIME for a new life! Its time for so much more but I aint gone get into it. The first one person I had to get told was my mother. She called me and said when were we leaving to go see about pops. I told her look lady, I aint going no where I dont feel well and i aint driving anywhere to check on anyone. She told me I was selfish. Then I went in for the read. "I am not selfish, not in the least bit, I have spent my entire life caring for others and making sure everyone was taking care, but not a soul cares that I am ill. He is ok and well taking care of i'm sure since he is in a hospital. Besides there is nothing we can do since either of us has a PHD in medicine." She was speechless! The HELL-O- PHONE continued to ring but I still have not touched it. Well I have more to say but my head has started pounding again from the lights and this screen i'll finish it tommorow. PRAY for me and my POPS!

Agony

2006-03-28T18:37:00.000-06:00

Well this made day 8 of me having my headache. I dont know what to think... Is it a stroke? a broken blood vessel? Stress who knows! But I presssed my way on out to work this morning. I got there extra early my head throbbing. Im thinking why in the hell did I come here I should have went str8 to the E.R. I made it half way and out the door I went to the Dr. he grew very concerned because this headache should be gone. Dekalb being concerned called and was bossing me around,Wait a minute whose the oldest. But he was showing his concern and making sure nothing was happening to me. He began to order tests after test that I will have to go through. He told me to go home and rest and to go to the Hospital in the morning for more test. So i guess Ill be off work for the next few days thank GOD for sick days. Dolton of course showed her concern by telling me that she was going to beat me and etc and that she could not afford to have me die. I dont know maybe being with the heavenly father cause always be better than this pain.Then I called my granny and now she is trying to clock my tea on the side. She starts out telling me what I need to do. Then it went from that to telling me to be myself despite what others may think or say. I say "what you talking about Granny?" nothing in particular but just be you. LOL... Then move out and get your own place so you can be you. LOL... I almost said "Are you trying to clock my tea grantie?" LOL... So that conversation went on for about an hour. Ok, the only thing is that I am comfortable being me. NAW!! I aint ready to leave here and I know he is not done with me just yet! Pray for Jay, he lost his father on today and I was 30 mins late getting in contact with him but I will keep him and his family lifted in prayer. Remember to pray for your enemies, friends, and family. Pray for me as I do for you!