Unforgiven Heart continued

Ok, I woke up and went the bathroom to take care of myself. Then I came back and poured me another glass of Zinfindel. Damn... Am I becoming an alcoholic or am I going through something. But I was way to fucked up to even think, to finish this earlier this morning. But now my thoughts are clear. I have a very unforgiven heart. Things have happened to me and I just cant seem to shake them off. No matter how hard I try to forget some of these things I cant let them go. It is a too a point now where I dont even want to associate with people anymore. I cant take anymore heart ache. And Im not going to let someone stomp on my heart again. The bible says we should forgive and forget... I can forgive when someone has apologized.. I can apologize when I am wrong.. But I cant forget what someone has done to me. And it affects my relationship with that person for fear that they may do it to me again. Right now I know I aint going no where for New Years eve but to church and back home cause I dont want to possibly run into some people while I am or even see them for that matter. I called my co-worker this morning and I talked to her for a long time to express my feelings. Simply I am unhappy in my dealings with others. I dont think I make a great friend since everyone seems to have a complaint about my friendship. Then I am not happy with my"friends" for why should have a " "ship if their is always a problem. I'm tired and I am not taking it into the new year with me. Im almost sure I will be ending whats left of a few friendships before the new year hits. I think Im done venting now as I pour myself another glass of Zinfindel. Damn.. Im running out! Ok back.. Im thinking that running from your problems aint gone solve them and they will resurface. Might as well get them solved!