I Tried to reach beyond the Break...

REACH...BEYOND THE BREAK AND HOLD ON...AND HOLD ON. Thats exactly what ive been trying to do. To start off I woke up at tired as hell, which was going to be an indication that this day was going to be a FOOL. I promise for every up in my life there is a down. I woke up with a message from EIU, asking me when I was going to go to STL and a text from Subway @ 5:14a saying "Good morning my friend. I want to thank U 4 UR concern. it made me cry. I like the fact that your a true friend." Thats exactly how I felt last night with Twin, so i forwarded it to him. I went to sleep knowing that if nothing else I was certain about...Twin LOVES ME.... I didnt return any calls yet. I made a bowl of cereal, I ate two bites and poured it out. Naperville sent me a text saying "good morning I was waiting on you to call me back, I see you forgot about me, no one cares for me, I am going to cry." At this point the game doesnt work on me. So I called him on the way to work and then he tries run another game on me..."I stayed up until Midnight waiting on you" Spare me...he doesnt stay up past 10. So I cut him short and told him to save it for someone else and not me. We talked and laughed all the work and I actually enjoyed our conversation. It has to be one of the best ones we've ever had. I wanted to go and tell his boyfriend..to back off...he's mine again. NAPERVILLE...if we keep up the good convo..we actually could be great friends with benefits. LOL... I had some extra time so I stopped at McDonalds and got me a sausgae mcmuffin. I got to work and got a text from EIU...I didnt have time to text back and forth with him cause I had some work to be finished so I told him to call me. First mistake of the day, that turned into a little heated argument. But that revealed some things to me. Well I began to get upset slightly, so I got off the phone. And I let him know VIA text message that I thought he is bogus and I wont forget it. He got on yahoo messenger, and it got a little escalated from there.. Question to self...Why try to amend those broken pieces anyway.
Maurice: I dont know.....This friendship.......
DK: what about it
DK: you treat it like a joke
Maurice: No I dont.....Im trying to make ammends to things and make things better for us and YOU BLOCK ME...So whats the point in even trying.....,
DK: how am i blocking you... this has nothing to do with our friendship
DK: you making amends by calling me so you can ride with me to stl how is that making amends Maurice: Yeah.....
Maurice: No Ive been trying to call more.....and text message you...but I guess it doesnt count for nothing
He thought I had been calling him cause I wanted to ride to STL with him. Totally not the case.
Maurice: STL is not a problem because remember I have a Honda or Taurus I can drive...so thats presents not one problem for me
DK: because i'm just not going to put myself in that situation
Maurice: I dont know what situation your talking of, but I dont want to know either so....
DK: well i'm gone tell you anyway... the situation is you not liking royce
DK: and it hasn't came up yet, but I dont think he likes you that much either
Maurice: WONDERFUL!!!!!
DK: but i'm gone tell you like i told him... I'm not one to choose so that means you just gone have to get along
Maurice: You dont have to choose....If its me or you being happy...I will step down and let yall have at it.....
Maurice: And since it presents a problem on both ends...it may be whats best.....
First..Honestly I want him and his man to be together. I dont want to or attempt to be a burden in their relationship. Truth be told I am glad he doesnt like me, cause he most def is not even a number in my book.
Maurice: Disclaimer: you can feel a way and not act like it. LOVE is the main driving force in my life. and you know When I am mad...I dont deal
DK: well do you constantly stay mad at me? where is the love in that?
DK: and i just think you always trying to drop me lil hints
DK: everything we use to do you have to take it and throw it in my face that you and Twin doing it.... and everytime i talk to you its oh Twin this and oh my Twin that as if you wanting me to get the picture....
DK: i honestly feel i've been replaced
DK: especially after you told me i can only talk to Twin... he is the only one that can understand me and i saw in your blog that you wrote you didn't want to talk to me...
Why do I always stay mad at him? Simply cause he is always doing something to make me mad. Then their is no need to be mad/jealous of Twin...He lives here in the city with me so of course we are able to do more. Twin understands me and I can talk to him without my words being repeated or thrown back in my face. Immediately my mood changed from ok to bad. First Markham hit me up saying good morning..I erased him and blocked him...Dont speak to me Niggah with your phony acting, shady butt. I dont know who the hell these niggahs think they are. So hopefully, I wont be hearing from him. My Mood, "Im out playing on a window ledge deciding to jump...Hey I've made even more stupid decisions before, so this one wont make a difference." Gemini horoscope.. Your actually pretty charming without doing anything to make yourself better. Relations with others are a bit strained today. Therefore, dont expect to much from people. Matteson asked me when were going on a date tonight. YES!! I am overjoyed. 87th asked me was I going to the haunted house with them, I dont know. Doubt it cause I dont deal with the devil, or anything dealing with him. Lord, I know you will make my day better. Imma get off and wash my dirty car. My co-worker rode home with me and wanted to know what was wrong with me. So I began to talk to her and tell her about my life and my friends. Effective counseling...She gets it all out and I vent to her. She told me I only have one real friend and it is Twin and all others are just regular friends. It has some truth...but to not allow others into my life for if something happens to twin....I'll be lonely. So Im looking for new friends. LOL.....and its obvious the others aint making me happy...But I know its up to me to be happy. I went on my date...you'll hear more about it later.