In complete Disorray?Ressurrection

It feels good to be home! Been gone for a few days....aint much new happened. Its official me and Dekalb are no more....we aint talked in a couple weeks. This is the GOD honest truth..he is the first person since my ex that I had feelings for. I miss him and still have feelings for him but I am moving on. I got a few different people that I hope to get to know better and be able to chose someone to spend the holidays and the new year with. I met my boy Country Club Hills this weekend, he is high yellow and Thick and has the most pretty hazel eyes. Almost made me jizz my pants. I could not sleep last night......For more than one reason.... Not to state the obvious reason that I am horny as hell.....Tommorow makes one month of no sexual contact. I remember waking up at 5am...with a hard on coming through my Pj's......I dreamt of nothing but Sex last night.....I thought if I went to pee it would go down...no such luck....Removing the Pj's No suck luck....so I laid in bed for about an hour and a half w/a hard dick. Ok....Now more importantly.....My mind is in a state of disorray...I cant figure it out but why does the Devil keep attacking my friendship with Twin. For the last month or so every week there is something that keeps coming in between us...and I dont like it..... He is really like the only firm friend I have in my life right now and I am scared that soon if we continue in the direction that were in that soon he will be gone too. Yesterday our disagreement was over someone whom we both find attractive and have messed around with. Twin thinks I am stepping on his toes to prevent him from dating this person. Actually I am not.....He tells me I got all these people chasing after me in Chicago why cant I let him have someone....Im like what the hell? He was enraged, I told him I was not going to talk about it anymore, but he kept on going talking about dont tell it back around on him and etc. IT was obvious to me that Devil was trying to make me mad....I let him know he was defeated .....All this came after I left church...while I was in High Spirits... So I prayed a lil quick prayer for strength, peace and Wisdom. I got a peace of mind.....and I left the situation along all together. Then after that I lost my phone for a few hours.... MY HEART I was so lost....But I guess that was my time to get order over my life and over my actions..... I didnt discuss the issue with anyone yesterday simply I just wanted to pray over the situation....By the end of the night....I saw my anger Harboring inside of me...and I started to pray against that...... PRAYER works..... Im cool...just still a little disturbed. I talked to Simon Says today and had to give him some mad props for talking to me today and helping me to find a topic to Ressurrect this blog out of hiatus. I told him I was bothered about Twin....
Simon: but many times God puts situations and scenarios in our lives for a reason, be it a lesson, be it a way to learn something about the people around us, be it a way to realize w Simon: maybe you are not meant to be friends with this person anymore
Simon: maybe you are not meant to feel the way you feel for this guy
Maurice: lol....true.....
Simon: but it can possibly still be a way for God to do something more in your life
Maurice: yeah that’s the way I looked at it.....
Maurice: I think it was a test for me to pass....and I think I passed it with flying colors....
Maurice: Normally I would have cursed and screamed and yelled.....but this time I simply said I ain’t gone talk about it.....
Thats it........for now....Im going over to Hair Dressers house...