The Start of the NEW ME

This song has been on my heart, "Though the storms keep on raging in my life and sometimes its hard to tell the night from day still that hope thats lies within is reassured...But if the storms dont cease and if the winds keep on blowing in my life....I CAN SAY MY SOUL HAS BEEN ANCHORED IN THE LORD...... last night I went to sleep thanking GOD for the things that he has done in my life....And how wonderful it is....and for the people in my circle of support he has connected me with. And I thanked him for yesterday...What a wonderful day it was...but just for the trials and tribulations I encountered on yesterday. As we all know things happen for a reason...and we may never know why we went through it. But I do know We all reap what we sow so simply I could have done something similiar to someone and I reaped what I sowed into it. ONCE Again I thank you LORD!!! LORD AS YOUR HUMBLED CHILD, MAKE ME A NEW PERSON ON TODAY AND DAYS TO COME. I woke up this morning tired cause I couldnt sleep for being in pain. Finally, I overdosed on the pills and was able to go to sleep. I laid in bed until 6:35, totally not like me. Well I was getting ready for work....Many thoughts raced through my mind....One being why is it that US gay folks have so many issues? Why do we go through so much? Is their a such thing as a true friend? Is their really any love in the Lifestyle? And that their are some more people whom I need to rid myself of....LORD, please remove them without anymore drama.. Uhm, all this thinking caused me to leave 7 minutes late. I must admit I got some issues but who doesnt? Last time I checked there were no perfect people on Earth.... So why is it that whenever someone has a issue it causes a big uproar. A MESS!! I know PRAYER changes things.... and thats why I decided to put everything into GOD's hand for I know he knows whats best for me and the road ahead is always better. Its funny but I am being checked out at work by my boss and co-workers. My boss tell me yesterday that I look nice in my pants and they fit just right...I say what you say she says...I wish I were tall so my pants would fit like that. Ok, she is bird and cake watching. LOL..Then today my co-worker say to me your losing weight..I said thanks..She spanks me on the butt. Uhm...at least someone pays attention. LOL... Twin, I thank you for you Genuine friendship, I mean without you, I would have been a ship lost without a Sail. You are like my guardian angel, God connected us together to keep one another from harm and out of trouble. Ok, its time to go home...Stayed for this evening. Dolton is coming over...... My pudding...I love her alot...Someone answer this for me...Will I be able to leave the life so I can commit to her and be the man she wants me to be? I really dont see a future in the LIFE with all the drama it presents but who knows the right may come along soon...After work I wen to my old neighborhood...The people who bought our house, let me go through there house and look at the improvements that had been done. Then I went to visit my old neighbors.. it was nice being back in the Hood.. Then this niggah that Ill call Maxima drove past me and waved...HE is a married down brother who wanted to hook up with me..I dont know why we never did...I guess he was scared. Well I thought to myself uhm, let me give this another try. So I ripped a page out of my journal and jotted my name and number on a piece of paper and put it in his mailbox. I grew some balls today. Ok, so Im sitting here modifying my entry as she sits over here on the phone with a niggah. Aint that some S**T. Ill be alright Im sure. Song touching my heart right now is The Battle is the LORD's... This battle that I am trying to fight...I cant fight a battle I am not going to win so I'll give up and let him do what he has to do.....No matter what you happen to go through right now..It will only be a memory,...... no matter what comes, no matter what goes, GOD LOVES YOU.............and this battle is not yours and he needs a chance to prove to your enemies that he is GOD....Hold On dont give up..... This was all I needed to hear cause I kept listening to that portion of the song over and over again. IIght Ill holla tommorow and remember GOD LOVES YOU And so do I.