Why does it hurt

The Lord has been getting me ready for some things that were going to hit my life and in the last couple of days I think they have found me. For the last couple days I've felt a little lonely cause this is around the time last year that I broke up with my lover of two years. It was a constant struggle to get him to commit or even act right for that matter, some of the same problems I have with Starbucks so I guess I am doomed.. I shall be alone with my cat(when I get one). Yesterday I did alot of praying and thinking about what I want to do and what I should be doing with my life. Also, that I dont want to be single, dont want to spend Valentines day alone, and the fact that stroking my dick aint gone relieve my horniness. LOL.. but I can overcome that! My post yesterday was going to be posted "a sincered apology" cause the other day I let my anger consume me and I was totally irrate about the whole situation. I was not going to take my blog down but I was going to recant some of things I said. Something kept me all day from getting around to write it. I talked to Cash about some issues that I was having and he was doing his best to try and pursuade me to change my mind. He was unsucessful so I guess thats why he majored in Business and im the social worker. Well the person I was angry with came up with this "Solemn apology" that was gone in less than 24 hours. Uhm, dang you recant your statement or was it not true to begin with. So I told cash it was a joke like I said. Not that I have a problem with public confession the person easily could have emailed me the apology or told me face to face but I cant complain I got something from him that I didnt expect in the first place. But as the old saying is, a tiger never loses his stripes and they will be apart of him until he dies. Well he is back at it after writing this "Solemn apology" to me(its gone and has no trace to be found) I thought O.k. we have a shot at reconcilation maybe thats why he wrote it. NAW not the case! Well after I read the apology I called so we could talk, no answer so I left a message, Ending result no returned phone call! I even left my phone on so when he called we could talk no matter when. Not a problem cause I told Cash it was all a ploy to shut me up for a while(we all know im a gemini and I aint gone shut up until im done). He calls while I was in a meeting and I could not talk! I sent a text saying I'd call back when I got out my meeting. Well I called him and we talked for a total of 90 secs if that. I was not worrying about it cause I had work to do. I went to my new job to get my caseload for I would be starting my new gig next week! PRAISE HIM! Then I met Atlanta and Cash downtown so I could drop ATL off at the airport then Cash and I would go and eat, a text appears from Starbucks: So whats the deal at this point? While waiting in the restaurant, I replied "the deal with what? What are you asking me? No answer to the text, tell me why in the hell would you text someone and then dont reply to their answer(a game I tell you). I tried to blame it on Sprint PCS, but that was not the case cause everyone I know got the text I sent before. While we were eating 3 guys from my church walked in. 1 of whom I think is so fly and so good looking. He is nicer than I expected him to be> After I took Cash to his car I called him and he said "I'll call you when I get to my car." Hell at 8:19am this morning I guess he never made it to his car. I sent a text saying "did you make it to your car yet?" Of course I got no reply which is all good cause he further confirmed to me that it was time for me to move on. We shall forever remain friends cause I didnt play games as a child and I aint gone start at 24. Well I guess also I will begin to look for another place because they dont want me to have it cause I dont make enough money. I make enough to pay my rent!