Holding on to your dreams

Listening to Byron Cage BLESS THE LORD

Why does everyone in the world think that I am the one to take on they're problems. Well yesterday I worked both jobs and low and behold as soon as I got off my damn phone started ringing. I was trying to go to Co-workers (New name: Momma D) house to do my laundry. First it was my god sister calling me telling me that her check engine light came on. Well that wasnt so bad because at the most I would have to go and pick her up to take her back home. So I started doing an assessment over the phone and then I told her to rush it out to Toyota ASAP. Well Ill say its exactly what I said it was. I got some mechanic skills in me. Then my lil sister calls me and tells me her car stopped. Damnit I jus bought the car 2 weeks ago and this is the 2nd time it has stopped. I have spent like a grand trying to get it running for her. Well this time I diagnosed it as being the timing chain. Damn, so I was on the phone for what seemed like hours getting the towing service to have the car towed back to Chicago she was all the way out in Bollingbrook. All I knew was that I was not going to be pushing it with my car back from there and basically there was nothing I could do anyway but call a tow truck. Then I had to have a big brother talk with her. I began by saying " I know that it seems like everything in the world seems to be going against you but dont be discouraged. For all you know GOD is sparing your life cause you could have been killed. She was ok with that and we went on to my house. My Guy Dekalb truly pissed me off last night. I wanted to beat the shit out of him. Here he had a final to do for his class and the professor told him what he could not do. Well somewhere somehow he thought he could do what the hell he wanted.. Sure.. But it didnt work. So I ended up having to do the final for him like it was my shit. Then I began to think about how I let got off my dream. I have always wanted to go to college... So I went and got my bachelors and then I wanted to get my masters. I remember my last semester in college and I applied for grad school and got accepted. YAY! I thought... In about a years time Ill have a bachelors and a masters. I was dating this guy I call The A that I had been seeing for about 2 years. He had graduated exactly one year earlier and had moved back home. So I sat down enrolled in classes and was due back to school that January to begin working on my masters. I graduated Saturday and Monday I had an interview and got the job and is still here almost 2 years later. I was like damn I got a job and this nigga is in the chicagoland area. I can make this work. So I withdrew from all my classes so I could stay home and be closer to him because I loved him. Do you know I ended up breaking up with him the next month exactly 4 days before Valentines day because I couldnt take it no more. I was tired of being used for sex, feeling unappreciated, and basically treated like shit. It sent me into a deep depression cause here I deferred my dream to be with some nigga who didnt want me. I lost the person I thought I truly loved. I lost my freedom cause I ended up having to sublet my apartment because I was working back in Chicago. I lost it all... Materialistic things never can make up for something like this. Listen everyone never put off a dream for anyone.... Today is Co-worker/Momma D's last day. Im kinda sad because I have gotten used to her being her everyday and us talking shit back and forth to one another everyday. But as she embarks upon her new journey to Loyola for a Masters...I think Maurice will be embarking upon a journey of his to get a MS behind this name.