Really Just Tired of the BS

Ok, I continued to recieve hate mail today from Starbucks. He is so full of shit. I've talked to Cash about the situation and basically Cash thinks he wants me to be real with what I do( which I did,when we were talking). Also, that he wants me to focus on him, which I did. Its his way or no way and im simply tired of the games MR. STARBUCKS! Here it is he is sending me text messages and then I go to call him and he couldnt answer the phone and I left a message. But many consecutive text messages came after that. Whats up with that? And why is everything always about me? Its always what I did and never what he did? Also what I need to do. Now he thinks I have pride issues, aint shit wrong with my pride. So basically im more than of his bullshit, his selfish ways, and his lack of reverence to anyone but himself. I made this day to be the last time to ever mention him in my blog and I told him tonight "Don't worry you will never appear in my blog again. So erase my number and dont ever contact me again. Cant say it was nice knowing you but I will, Ill Holla Dawg! Now thats what I want from you, to never hear from you again." I have never in my life told someone that.. Im more likely to just say dont contact me again, but this time I mean it. Now he wont worry about me hating him now. With saying that, I'm going back to bed! I had to get up to type this.

A descent weekend

I spent my whole entire weekend in Columbus Ohio with my friends and my cousin. Nice little town but boring in the same breath for it to be a college town. Well on Friday evening I chilled and then we went to his friends house(Lil Hype) to have a drink(i learned how to whisk my drink) then to the club or if thats what you want to call it. OMG, this club was absolutely horrible. They didnt play dance music(not house), it was packed full of fags(girly men), and just not a good setting at all. No one was dancing, it seemed that everyone was walking around drinking and the others were smoking hellafied weed. Im sure I had a contact high when I left there. My cousin stood me up and never showed, I cursed him out. I was amased at my friends dorm, its a 2 bedroom apartment(dorm room)that has a full bathroom in each and both are shared with a living room, bar, and a nice sized kitchen. I was like im going back to school for real now if stuff looks like this. I was whopped so I took a shower and went to sleep. I woke up and talked to Dekalb who was asking 21 questions by the minute. OH wow! I got up took a shower and went back to sleep. We went down the market place to get some food and was stared at the entire time. Damn all eyes on us. I basically slept all day with the exception the couple times I got up to eat or when my friend (we'll call him OSU) would wake me up for the hell of it. Then I had to make me a Walmart Supercenter run, cant miss an opportunity to go there(thinking about how crappy the stores here are). Then back to the dorm to sleep more. I dont know what they were doing but I was surely sleeping down. Then we got up and went to another club they call "After Hours" this one was worst than the one last night. My cousin was totally queening out the whole time calling everyone girls in the club. All they did was smoke weed I was high as hell this time. Then the overly fem guys were dancing with one another, bumpin cookies and some in a literal sense. I was like "get me out of here!" I sat in a chair next to my cousin and went to sleep until they were ready to go.I went back to the dorm, sat in the bed, and ate sherbert and OSU ate Ice Cream. I guess we had the munchies from all that weed inhalation. I went to sleep and woke up at about 3pm. Took a shower and left to come back here. I made it back in about 4 hours. I came in went to sleep only to be awoken by a text at 1:30 in the morning. I was so incoherent that i didnt know what the hell it said until this morning. Then I was trying to figure out who it was then it doned who it was. I considered the text hate mail and properly disposed of it like I would any other kind of hate mail. If it would have been in paper form i might have took on my patio and burned it. LOL.. ok ill stop being wicked like the way this person feels about me. The other day he wanted my heart to stop suddenly so i would fade away, then he told me I dont fit into the description of a good man, now he wants to know why I hate on him..Well his evil ass should know why. I have not hated on him nor do i hate him. All he has to do is be a man about it and tell me what it is that he wants to hear. I'll listen to whatever he has to say. Stop sending me hate mail Muthafucker! You will make me grow into a HATER of you! Cash says, "Go get yo man" and I will when I find him. Now back to me! Im off today so imma go do something around here.

Chilling

On Wednesday my mom was still in the hospital dealing with a lot. The way she has been talking has really scared me. In many ways she was talking like she was going to die or something. I had no other choice but to pray for the devil was trying to attack me. She has been in the hospital for almost a week now and I want her to come home.On Thursday of course I went to work and chilled. I had to rush one of my co-workers to the emergency room. Then I stayed at the hospital with her until she was admitted. I went back to work trying to finish my work but was really unable to. SO many different emotions was running through my body cause I was already. I got really upset at one point cause two people I care deeply about and that I talk to are in the hospital. PRAY FOR BOTH OF THEM! By the end of my shift my mom had been discharged and was home. Now we have some other issues, she is afraid to self medicate. I got off work and went straight to the hospital to see my co-worker. I love her alot and she is like the best fag hag a young boy can have. I then I went to my mom's house, chills ran through my body for a couple different reasons. I stayed out there for a while but had to hurry and get home so I can start packing for my trip that I have planned for this weekend. Friday, I went to work and had to sit in this boring inservice, which caused me to get horny! OH WOW! I then started recieving unknown and private calls.. I dont answer those! Finally cause I was tired of them coming in I decided to take a chance and answer it. Why did I do that? It was a stupid cunt playing on my phone. I got off work and went straight to OHIO! So now Im here and im happy to see my friend and my cousin. Ill holla back cause we finna hit the club.

Not so bad after all

This day started out at about 5am. I got up and got dressed and took care of what I needed to around here. I even had enough time to read my word. The bible is right on point and knew what I was going through and needed to hear. Thank you LORD for opening my ears to hear you. Finally I left the house and went to my job to park my car. Today I had a court date which was at 9:30. I arrived early to learn that GOD had given me favor and paved the way long before I got there. Since I already had the day off I went back and got my car and went on about my day. I then got a text from Starbucks punk ass asking me why I put him on blast? Well first I had to figure out who it was cause I deleted him then I had to realize when did I put him on blast. I didnt! So he must be wiggin out over something else. My mom is in the hospital so I went and sat with her. Starbucks and I went back and forth all day about stupid stuff because he is an asshole and purposely likes to fuck with people. Its all good cause Karma gone come back and bite the shit out that ass. Who ever heard of being called promiscuous because you gave someone your phone number? Hell he didnt want me, so I cant have others as friends.. sounds like a selfish muthafucker to me. Ill say this much if I was not sure about not talking to him again today he confirmed it. I told him in a few different texts to just fuck off cause I aint got time for his shit anymore and with saying that. I shant be responding to his texts or going back and forth with him via blog. Dolton was my Valentine and we had a great day. We went to Red Lobster to eat, then to the auto show, and just her mere presence made me happy. This would have made 2 years in a row that I would have spent it alone. Its funny the blows that life throws at you and how you fall down and bounce back!.. I thank Dolton for being there and making a bad day turn into a very special day. Cash for being my support when I needed to talk to someone. And Starbucks for showing your true self so that I could get rid of you!

Happy Valentines Day -----NOT

Friday evening when I got off work my co-worker and I decided to go finalize the deal with the car. On the way out to the car dealer I got a phone call from my mom,grandma, and my mom's husband. My cousin stole my little brothers car and hit someone. He doesnt have a drivers license. And of course I had to be the one they called to get the car out of the pound. I paid the money and got the car back and wanted to kill a couple of people. So then I went to Sam's and then to Walmart where I would run into Walmart again. Oh LORD, immediately we did the stare down again and he lit up at my presence. Oh wow, I was with my co-worker so I was giving him the look like dont do this to me. So he spoke and I spoke back! He then proceeded to ring me out while staring at me in the face the whole time. So I guess he got enough balls to proceed and got some paper and boldly asked me for my number in front on my co-worker. I was like "dawg I dont get down" and walked off! I am single so I should have gave it to him. I then remembered that he didnt give me my change so I ended up going back and getting my money and then dropping my number. "I get off at 10," I was like ok hit me up. My co-worker walked out the door laughing as if I was caught. Nigga! I went home and argued with Starbucks for like 2 1/2 hours. This is really getting old! Saturday I was a bum so I didnt do much but go and get my car washed and stroke my " " all day. I talked to Walmart and coming to find out he is scared! He has not been exposed to the life and for right now he is cool! Cool, we can be friends especially since he outed me. I erased about 10 or 15 numbers out my phone. Later that evening I went to my old Friend "2 years " house and chilled. Horny as I was I shoulda hit that! I came back home ate my chinese food and talked to Mr. Justice until I went to sleep. Sunday, my condition actually worsened and i wanted to skip church and go be a bad boy! But I did like any other horny i beat my dick a couple times before church. LORD, Forgive me! I went to church and came home to go at it full force with Starbucks again! He likes to argue with me and blame stuff on me. What is wrong with people who never do anything! Its always what someone else did and I know like hell I aint did half the stuff he keeps accusing me of. Well I began to fire back at him and let him know something about himself and that all he keeps blaming on me are the things that the mirror is telling him he is guilty of. Of course he did what any peorson would do caught up in they're mess he opted to take flight and stop talking to me. Cool, since i knew he was not going to call me back I went to sleep. Monday, I went to work after work I went to co-workers house whom I love so much! We talked about redecorating her house, to the guy flirting with me in Walmart to who is my special friend. So thanks Walmart wherever you are for outing me. But she is cool with it and loves me for who I am. But I will say Happy Valentines day to those of you who have someone.

Why does it hurt

The Lord has been getting me ready for some things that were going to hit my life and in the last couple of days I think they have found me. For the last couple days I've felt a little lonely cause this is around the time last year that I broke up with my lover of two years. It was a constant struggle to get him to commit or even act right for that matter, some of the same problems I have with Starbucks so I guess I am doomed.. I shall be alone with my cat(when I get one). Yesterday I did alot of praying and thinking about what I want to do and what I should be doing with my life. Also, that I dont want to be single, dont want to spend Valentines day alone, and the fact that stroking my dick aint gone relieve my horniness. LOL.. but I can overcome that! My post yesterday was going to be posted "a sincered apology" cause the other day I let my anger consume me and I was totally irrate about the whole situation. I was not going to take my blog down but I was going to recant some of things I said. Something kept me all day from getting around to write it. I talked to Cash about some issues that I was having and he was doing his best to try and pursuade me to change my mind. He was unsucessful so I guess thats why he majored in Business and im the social worker. Well the person I was angry with came up with this "Solemn apology" that was gone in less than 24 hours. Uhm, dang you recant your statement or was it not true to begin with. So I told cash it was a joke like I said. Not that I have a problem with public confession the person easily could have emailed me the apology or told me face to face but I cant complain I got something from him that I didnt expect in the first place. But as the old saying is, a tiger never loses his stripes and they will be apart of him until he dies. Well he is back at it after writing this "Solemn apology" to me(its gone and has no trace to be found) I thought O.k. we have a shot at reconcilation maybe thats why he wrote it. NAW not the case! Well after I read the apology I called so we could talk, no answer so I left a message, Ending result no returned phone call! I even left my phone on so when he called we could talk no matter when. Not a problem cause I told Cash it was all a ploy to shut me up for a while(we all know im a gemini and I aint gone shut up until im done). He calls while I was in a meeting and I could not talk! I sent a text saying I'd call back when I got out my meeting. Well I called him and we talked for a total of 90 secs if that. I was not worrying about it cause I had work to do. I went to my new job to get my caseload for I would be starting my new gig next week! PRAISE HIM! Then I met Atlanta and Cash downtown so I could drop ATL off at the airport then Cash and I would go and eat, a text appears from Starbucks: So whats the deal at this point? While waiting in the restaurant, I replied "the deal with what? What are you asking me? No answer to the text, tell me why in the hell would you text someone and then dont reply to their answer(a game I tell you). I tried to blame it on Sprint PCS, but that was not the case cause everyone I know got the text I sent before. While we were eating 3 guys from my church walked in. 1 of whom I think is so fly and so good looking. He is nicer than I expected him to be> After I took Cash to his car I called him and he said "I'll call you when I get to my car." Hell at 8:19am this morning I guess he never made it to his car. I sent a text saying "did you make it to your car yet?" Of course I got no reply which is all good cause he further confirmed to me that it was time for me to move on. We shall forever remain friends cause I didnt play games as a child and I aint gone start at 24. Well I guess also I will begin to look for another place because they dont want me to have it cause I dont make enough money. I make enough to pay my rent!

Men F**king Suck

Men never cease to F**king amase me!Ok today started out rough and I didnt sleep well on last night. So i woke at 6:40 to get ready for work leaving me less than 40 minutes to get up and out the house. It took me at least 10 more minutes to get out of bed. Well needless to say I aint get to work until about 8:45 and didnt care. I yawned all morning but I got my work finished. On to the MEAT! So that Nigga Starbucks I keep talking about is such an asshole. Now he has made me so mad to the point he will have me cursing again. I have never met another person in this world like him. It seems like he always has something to say which makes no sense to me. Then he has tunnel vision and only sees things his way and only his way. Life is about more than Mr. Starbucks. So he has this thing embedded in his head that I am seeing more than just him. To set the record straight I aint seeing anyone not even him because he is afraid to commit. It never amazed me that he would come up with some stuff to have a reason not to want to commit to me. FUCK THAT! He is on some bullshit and he knows it. Everything has to be about him and only about him and Fuck the rest of the world. He called me this afternoon and accused me of shit I know I didnt do or have done when in fact everything he said I was or wasnt doing, He fit the description of the culprit. I love how people tell you what you do as if they live through you. But with me being the Gemini I am, I had to tell him NO NO, it was his evil ass all alone. Then I let him know how I didnt appreciate how he treats me. Not to mention twice he has put me out his house. And then the one time I went to his job to have lunch with him. He walked off on me while I was talking leaving me standing there like some homeless man being ignored while asking for change while he road his ass up the escalator. Word to Maurice: Never try to get close to another Scorpio, they got MAD issues. He is mean as hell as if I did something to him.. its really fucked up that I(a good man) has to pay for whatever some punk did to him. All I kept hearing is the patterns he is recognizing in me that he recgonized in others. Well like I told him earlier he is recognizing the patterns because it is he who has the problem is running these people away like he is trying to do to me. Why cant he just be a man about it? Then he made me so mad he made me think about that good Fantasia Cd. First I aint gone beg him, I have let him slide before but I see he aint gone learn. Then I politely let him know he was more than welcome to gone ahead and free himself. Starbucks if you dont want me then dont talk to me! I swear no matter what I do for him, how I try to prove myself worthy, or the time I spend with him. None of it is good enough for him. He must think I am one of those thirsty people who dont have anyone and I have to play the desperate top in need of a bottom. NAW! Not here! I think I have put up with enough of his shit for three months and its time for me to let that Captain undock his ship and set sail into the sea of forgotten people never to be found again. You dont have to try and run me away no more, Ill leave this time. But through all of this he still wants to get to know me! LOL.. what a fucking Joke!

He Has never failed me!

Madame C.J. Walker
I been horny all week and I took this freak test. I scored over 400 and the max for nympho was 300. This weekend was a good weekend for me. On Friday when I got off work I went to one of my co-workers house. I looked at some apartments and then I chilled. Later that evening I stopped by mom's house and then went and picked Dekalb 1 from the bus station. Then I dropped him off and went out to eat with Cash. It was good seeing him and talking to him. To be honest that was the first time in about 2-3 months that we seen or talked to one another. This is the first friday night I have not been with Starbucks. Early Saturday morning I got up and went and looked at apartments. I finally found one I liked in my price range. Then I went and got Dekalb1 and we went shopping all day. And it ended up with dinner and me taking him back to the bus station. This is truly one of the best days I have ever had with him.. Me and Dolton went to the boat. I lost a couple of dollars and was ready to go. I hate gambling for 1, 2 I hate to give someone my money and not get a return 3.Did I say I hate gambling. Sunday I did my routine of churching all day. Later that evening I realized i had not seen Starbucks this whole entire weekend except when we saw one another on..... I wonder what he has to say for himself! It just aint worth it all the games he attempts to put me through. Monday, I went to work and worked hard! I went to dealer to get my car serviced and wound up bringing home a new car! OMG.. I dont need a new car.
Well this is the car and the inside of it.
I cant wait to go and get my windows tinted. All I got to say is GOD IS GOOD!

Never cease to amaze me

On Tuesday I did my normal routine of going to bible study learning a good word. Tuesday was also my annual year at my job. I got my annual review and I scored above average. I was mad cause I didnt get the next spot which was superior. Oh well! I was referred for a management position. The message was about God getting us ready for worship. YES! My favorite lesson in the bible. I came home and went to bed..came home and took a cold shower cause my cousins that are staying here ran all the hot water out. I need to hurry up and move out. a brother was tired.. woke right back up at 3am in prayer.. The bible says seek him early and thats what I did.. GOD IS GOOD! The next morning I woke up and went to work. I did some work but not a whole lot! My hormones were starting to brew up! Get control is what I had to say to myself! I was cleaning out my desk and found one of my exes phone number THE A, I contemplated calling him and seeing could we get together. I put the number up and didnt call him. No need of falling back in that trap to be hurt again by him. Then it made me think about the other people in my life and what they mean to me. They never seem to amaze me! For instance Dekalb 1, who calls me and says he is coming home on this weekend and that he wants to see me and that were going to go out. Then their is Starbucks who is just being a complete a**hole to me. I have not heard from him and he has been acting all depressed and stuff on me. All I want is for him to talk to me.

Black History Month

Today marked the first day of black history month. Black history month has been a month I have celebrated since I was in pre-school. Although there is an international aspect to Black History month, it is mainly an American holiday. Black history month started in 1926 by Carter G. Woodson who had been born to slaves. Both his parents were illiterate so Mr. Woodson had to work to help support his family. He started school later than most children but lived by motto "it is never to late to learn." He then became a high school teacher and was upset to learn that the students were not being taught about the history of Black Americans. He started the association for the Study of Negro Life and History to study the important things Black People accomplished and on February 19, 1926, Mr. Woodson established "Negro History Week." In the 1970s, the celebration of African American history was expanded to include the entire month of February. So as much as I can I will try to honor a person who made a point in Black History. Today I will Honor Carter G. Woodson.
These are the words of Dr. Carter Godwin Woodson, distinguished Black author, editor, publisher, and historian (December 1875 - April 1950). Carter G. Woodson believed that Blacks should know their past in order to participate intelligently in the affairs in our country. He strongly believed that Black history - which others have tried so diligently to erase - is a firm foundation for young Black Americans to build on in order to become productive citizens of our society.
Known as the "Father of Black History," Carter G. Woodson holds an outstanding position in early 20th century American history. Woodson authored numerous scholarly books on the positive contributions of Blacks to the development of America. He also published many magazine articles analyzing the contributions and role of Black Americans. He reached out to schools and the general public through the establishment of several key organizations and founded Negro History Week (precursor to Black History Month). His message was that Blacks should be proud of their heritage and that other Americans should also understand it.
Carter G. Woodson was born in New Canton, Buckingham County, Virginia, to former slaves Anne Eliza (Riddle) and James Henry Woodson. Although his parents could neither read nor write, Carter G. Woodson credits his father for influencing the course of his life. His father, he later wrote, insisted that "learning to accept insult, to compromise on principle, to mislead your fellow man, or to betray your people, is to lose your soul."