Things I want to share

Right now I am celibate. I don’t have any kind of sexual encounters. I don’t masturbate nor tweek my nipples. What a change and I wonder what brought it on.
Once a person has crossed me I don’t trust them anymore and it takes a very long time to build up that trust again.
So as you all know I been going to the gym and thank GOD the wait is finally coming off. I losing an average of 4 lbs a week so I am happy about that. I hate going into the LOCKER room. It seems to be filled with naked men every time I go. Or when I am in their someone comes in and starts taking off their clothes. I don’t have that type of will power not to look. LOL. I know who is wearing under clothes and whose not. I just cant help it, it supercedes my innocence. LOL. Often I find myself looking out the corners of my eyes to what’s going on. One day some is going to catch me and it will be just my luck that their down and Ill go screaming and running out of there for dear life.
Why I am sure now that my personal trainers are GAY. On Monday, he went and was voguing down. LOL.. so yesterday I said you were really voguing wasn’t you, he said “yeah I was voguing down.” So I guess he thought about what he said and then he changed his mind said what are you talking about. CAUGHT UP! So me being the persistent person that I am kept messing with him. So then I asked are yall roommates? He said yeah.. Confirmation.

Get your proorities in Order

On last night I went to the gym and had one of a workout. I guess last night was “family night” cause the children from A4A and 360 were out working on their guts for the summer. I like instant gratification and I feel that the weight ain’t coming off fast enough but in all respects its coming off the way it should. I took a nice long hott steamy shower and washed my hair which I may add, has grown. I was in a good mood last night, went to bed in a good and woke up in a good mood.
So I got up and went to work all in a good cheerful mood. So my agency through my mood for a loop when they called me down to the break room to sample some coffee. I thought that it was a company trying to advertise and get you to buy their product. Well come to find out, my company is going to buy this machine. I immediately got pissed off and I know now its time for me to go. They simply don’t have their priorities in order. They are going to purchase a new coffee machine that will not be profitable to the company. Imagine this “New coffee machine, but no raise, bonuses or quarterly stipend for its overworked employees. TALK ABOUT PRIORITIES, I find it to be stupid as hell.
But to talk about something more important like my original blog post. It was going to be about my blast from the past.
How many of you have gotten your butt beat when you were younger? Well I was one of them I was always getting my tail beat. I wasn’t all that bad but I had one hell of a mouth. I mean if I was going to get a whooping then why not say what you wanted to say. I remember my mom would ask me why I did something, and I would tell her because I felt like it. Mouth Shot! She would tell me to clean up the kitchen, I would ask her does she do anything?, BEAT DOWN. She would tell me to watch my siblings who might I add are 5 years younger than me, I would tell her those are not my kids you watch them yourself. LOL, BEAT DOWN.
Then of course the bad things I used to do. I think I used to be a pyromaniac. Then of course I was nasty, I used to love playing house. Boy those were the days. I have gotten caught with my pants down, in the bed and simply in the act with ex girlfriends. Or being Manish with my momma’s friend son. LOL. LORD I used to literally get the S**T beat of me. I use to get extension cords, belt, switches, brooms, wooden spoons taken to me. I didn’t care!
I say they need to bring the old school mothers back. The ones that made you go to church all the time. I remember I used to go to church all the time. Tuesday night Bible study, Thursday night Choir rehearsal, Friday night, whatever it was, Saturday morning Cleaning the church, and all day Sunday at church. I grew up C.O.G.I.C so you know they always got something going on in the church. But these were the mommas who children didn’t turn out so bad. These kids today are horrible and disrespectful? The world is going to come an end. I seen about 7 of be-be’s kids running down the street last night. I said what the hell have they done now. The other day I was driving and it was probably the same 7 that were throwing sticks and rocks at some lady who appeared to be a HYPE. Where has the black community gone too (Maybe tomorrows blog) Where were their mothers? Shaniquaita was probably in the nail shop or in the shop getting her HAIRE DID! It disturbs me that people are leaving their children out here for the world to make a mockery of. The bible says beat them. I say beat the hell out of them. My whooping helped me and I didn’t turn out to bad. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?

shut the f**k up sometimes

Its been a few days so of course to catch you up on my life, it will be a lot of randomness. To talk about all that I need to share. First topic!
It deeply disturbs me that our people can’t shut the hell up long enough to keep a job. I know a couple of people who can’t keep a job to save they’re lives. WTF!!??? Shut up! You don’t have to go blow to blow with the supervisor. Shut UP! Just because you believe that you are right doesn’t automatically make you right! Nope it doesn’t! For whatever reason it is, they are the subordinate and you are the Insubordinate so do what the hell your supposed to be doing and go home. B***h, moan and complain when you get home . For the rest of your life someone is going to be telling you what to do. For instance my director sent out an email informing us of what were not supposed to do. My initial hot headed temperament said reply to his email and give him one good swift read. I thought about it and said I need my stipend so shut the HELL UP!
So my weekend was cool, Friday night I didn’t do much even though I had homework to do. Saturday, I spent the early part of the day with my family and the later part out West at Mr. Smith’s house. ARE we Related? I don’t know. But the big boy crew rolled up and pressed our way even though Cash and Dalilbbrown didn’t want to come in. Mr. Smith had to go down and get them. I connected with several people from 360 that I never even paid any attention too. It was some PHYNE brothers there. I was like yes chocolate, thick, cakes. I ain’t gone tell the secret but everyone at the party was discussed one by one! I had a great time and I didn’t have to do nothing at all. But I was glad to finally meet Westside, Mr. Smith and See Nubian again. He has Plenty of cakes for me to grab a hold of. His exact words were, “their fresh out of the oven.” Westside I don’t have any words for him but I know I will be kicking it with him again. I don’t even know why he keeps insisting on me not being innocent! I am, I Truly am! If I wasn’t so innocent why didn’t I hit on someone and try to take them home with me?
So I had to take my sister back to U of I because she couldn’t get a ride back. I didn’t want to go and then I knew the State Boys were going to be on the prowl. Well it was this white man on a motor cycle. I don’t know what I did to him but he had it out for me. He spit on my car and tried to wedge me in between some trucks! And told me to suck his nuts. WTF! LOL.. well I said I was gone keep it cool but finally I had enough. I finally managed to get around him and slowed down in front of him and then I opened fire on him with my windshield wiper fluid flying all in his face like a Torpedo. He stuck his finger up at me and then I laid it on thick again then I hit that accelerator and went on about my business. LOL. STUPID CUNT!
So, I think I have finally got it. My ex girlfriend is confused about what she wants to do. I talked to my sister who is a fellow Gemini, and she said that she is confused if she wants to pick up where we left off or LOVE and continue to be with this man. Well I don’t know what she is doing but she is already giving off that signal that something else has her attention. LORD, people don’t get caught up this quick but hey that’s on her. So, yesterday I went to pick her up and tell me why he came out with her. He doesn’t know me or my car so I wasn’t worried besides that I was down the street and around the corner. LOL. But I saw him! Then this morning he called before we could get out of the neighborhood good. He is on to her! She is one of those people who need to shut the hell up because she tells him that she ran into me. WOULDN’T YOU BE SUSPICIOUS?

I am changing

On Friday I thought I was going to die, literally leave here. I caught some kind of nasty Stomach virus and it was going to take me out. I was in the mall with one of my clients and I broke out in a mean sweat and hives with my insides feeling like they were melting away. I wanted to scream at the fact I had to use the public restroom. I went home and went to bed because I didn’t want to die while I was awake.
I attempted to get my windows tinted cause a freak like me cant ride around untinted. I don’t want no one driving next to me and be like that “Maurice”, “Innocent freak”, “Marcus”, or “babydreds” as I used to be called. Hell besides that I might want to get busy in my backseat and I cant have no one looking directly at me without some form of a shield. Just kidding, I have innocence to uphold! So Later that day I went out to lunch with my young uncle who is 20. Well I really don’t know him so I thought that it would be a GREAT idea for us to get to know one another before my grandfather passes away. Well anyway I notice that he wears typical fag clothes and pumps and tight lil leather jacket. So his sleeve came up a little and I saw a rainbow wrist band. OMG, I ignored it and acted like I didn’t see it. See we went in the restaurant and we’re talking and again I see it and I couldn’t resist.
Me: Unc what’s that around your wrist?
UNC: A wrist band
Me: What kind of brand is that? Is that for your Fraternity?
Unc: No it’s a pride band,
Me: What are you proud of?
UNC: It’s a Gay Pride Wrist band!
Me: Huh, what? (Eyes widen, heart rate increases, and I clutch my heart) repeat that!
Unc: what’s wrong? Are you ok? But yeah it’s a GAY PRIDE wrist band
Me: So your GAY?
UNC:YES
I said ok and went on to say why didn’t you tell me. I LOVE gay people. LOL. He said he thought my sister would have told me. Well she did try too but I didn’t listen cause Girls always talking about someone gay. Anyway, I didn’t tell my own T and Ill tell him when he turns 21 and I go down to his school. At least I know now I am not in this alone.
I am in the market for a new laptop and I am unsure of what kind to get? Any suggestions!?
I don’t know why but I been feeling like being a whore. LOLOL… I mean me, the innocent freak wants to go out and have sex with different people. LORD, I know people are surprised at me but needless to say I am the innocent freak and I just want to do it and im not actually going out doing it. I had this dream about picking up this shawty, getting my dick, laying him on his back on the park bench and/or picnic table and just licking, sucking, and eating him up. I know I would enjoy it and so would he. Then I keep having dreams of me…. LORD, having sex in my car without my windows being tinted. Do I dream Freaky or what? And why do I have dreams about certain members of 360 and our sexual encounters? Who do you think I dream about? It could be you!
So now I think I am changing and its for the better. I think I have lost some weight and I have made at least a 250 degree lifestyle change not quite to 360 yet. I’ve stopped eating meat, consuming more vegetables, No sugars, decrease in carbs, drastic decrease in fast food. What I miss most is my cookies? I also been working out at least 4 days a week including 2 days of personal training. I am building up my strength and I’m glad because now I can pick some of you up and……………
Anyway, I picked up my ex-gf for work this morning. Tell me why are we sneaking around and her FIANCE was in the house. Anyway, this is the first time I picked her up at her house. She was sitting in the car waiting on me and got out and made the alarm go off. WTF, you trying to be incognegro and then gone set off the alarm. So she comes running down to my car and says hurry up and drive off. We were talking and everything was cool until I picked up my coworker. When he got out, she said is he GAY? I said I don’t know… I don’t know him like that. That opened another can of worms. LORD, I guess us sneaking around is over. But the funny part is that her fiancée called and my police radar started going off….

Ive been Tagged

got about 15 interesting things about me
1. I love sex
2. I have an addiction to cars(Ive had 4 cars since I graduated in 2004)
3. Im a freaky TOP
4. I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
5. I still like girls
6. Ive had sex with 1,2 or maybe more of my friends. (Not anyone you guys would know)
7. I have a strong attraction to Dark Men with full lips
8. The first thing I notice about people is the size of their Butt
9. Im a exhibitionist (YES I like to do it outdoors)
10. I now have a GAY uncle
11. I grew up a Foster Kid in DCFS
12. TooRoyal and I have been friends since 2002 and I love HIM like my brother
13. I attract young boys that want to use me for sex
14. I am in GRAD school trying to hurry and make it over
15. I work out 4 days a week

How about you learrn to help your damn self?

Hey whassup? I know its been a long time since I blogged but I still checked yall out from time to time. You wouldn’t believe it but I lost my phone which I lost everything. LORD, who ever has the phone has a great amount of porn. I mean I had videos, pictures and any other kind of media. Besides that I lost all of my friends phone numbers. So any of you that wants me to have your number again shoot it to me again in a message and even those that want me to have yours can show it to me. My life has been consumed with going to the gym, working with the personal trainer, and working my 2 jobs, and School which might I add I’m thinking of dropping out for the simple fact it is starting to interfere with my personal life and I ain’t feeling it at all. LOL.. I did manage to swing a 3.92 Cum GPA. And right now in my class I actually have a 100% which I am very shocked because when I tell you this professor is HARD. She is hard and don’t care what you got to do but turn in her work.
So yesterday on my way to work I ran into my ex-girlfriend . Immediately my feelings for her came back and she initiated the exchanging of phone numbers. I mean she called me like 30mins after I gave her the number and then she began to tell me about her child and fiancée. Did I get a little jealous? Hell Yeah. But we talked for about 3 hours last night and that meant a lot to me. So why did she sneak around the corner from her house so that I can pick her up and take her to work? What do you think about that? Well I asked a mature woman at my job about it. She said that we have unresolved feelings or she is still interested in me. Do I love her? YES! We’ve been talking so I will see where this goes.
Over the last few days or maybe weeks different people have been telling me that I am mean and evil. I do not believe that I am and it’s not because I’m being facetious and saying NO! They say it because I stated “If you don’t care, then I surely don’t give a DAMN”! I told the three people that if they wanted to smoke and pollute their lungs then by all means then gone ahead and do it. I simply said if you want to smoke 6 packs a day, then by all means DO IT, just don’t tell me when you’re sick from it because you didn’t want to help yourself. Does this make me mean?
I am so OVER the young people outside at Gas Stations, grocery stores and everywhere else asking for Change. I simply tell them NO because they are able bodied young men who can go and get a job. I’m sorry if you think that your to good to work at McDonalds or somewhere. It’s a mess! Does this make me mean?
Next is my family, who thinks that I am a money Tree. I bet think that I am a big ol Oak tree in the rainforest who produces dollars as leaves. Now they run me low asking me for money. They like to borrow money and then never pay it back or they continuously want more. I simply told them not to call me asking me for anything because I am not helping them any longer. Everyone can do what they want with their money but I am supposed to not spend mine on me but save it for them. NAW, I have had about enough. I ain’t gone call anyone out but I am simply gone let them hit rock bottom because I ain’t helping anyone cause its time for me to enjoy my life and not take care of anyone. Does this make me Mean?