My dislike of Feminine acting Guys

Woke up tired again and didnt want to get out of the bed. Im making it. Last night I made my first attempt at getting to know Justice better, I gave him my phone number. He said that he is bad with calling people. Well whats to be is to be.. On the way to work Naperville called and we talked on the way to work. I began to express my feelings and dislikes about overly Feminine Acting Guys. I told him I didnt like when he acted like that. He is a borderline FALL OUT.LOL. I dont mind if their is a little fem but once you get to the point where you think, act, wear clothes, and your overall dispostion is LIKE A woman then I am done. I hate it and that alone will make me never talk to them again. Maybe thats why I cut some of the people out of my life and the others who arent so bad...Slowed down our communication some. The old men at my job are always flirting and trying to holla at me...Who the hell do they think they are. i dont care how many times you turn them and tell them you dont swing the gay way they try harder. Imma break out on them one day and SHOUT TO THE MUTHAFUCKERS...I AINT A FUCKING BOTTOM SO GET OFF THAT, NASTY ASS OLD PERVERTS..Im sure that will set their asses straight. Then I was chatting with Twin on AIM and we were talking about Dekalb and Charlestonqueen(not Charleston)....Dekalb still likes me this I know....But God predestined us to meet. I think I am here for him cause he is my boo and and what I figured out is that he has never had anyone to show him genuine attention like I give and someone to like him for more than his body so thats why he still holds on to me. Hopefully thats it.... from talking to him...he was showed affection through sex and thats what he is used too.....he doesnt have to worry..I still care alot... I know I am good for him cause so far Ive helped him to stay in school cause he didnt want to be there. I love being a mentor to young minorities cause believe me my life aint been no crystal ball at all. I love to meet people who have had the same life experiences as I....We have a closer BOND than any other person. Even if we never date one another again...I am sure we will remain friends until the end of time(9:32a). He has all day been telling me how horny he was etc. Winthrop called me and we went to lunch together and he was giving me all these seductive looks etc. HE looked like he WANTED TO EAT ME..LOL... If he had the chance im sure he would. OK to be honest I dont like the fact that TWIN has been talking to CHARLESTONQUEEN who used to be my friend(FAG) but I dont deal with him at all cause he is a messy fag at that. I couldnt have such a messy lil old fat ass fag to mess over my TWIN. I'd kick his fat ass. Speaking of he called me the other night and I didnt answer cause I didnt want to talk to him. Today he sends a text telling me to call him tonight..Ok, imma stop being shady I called him..Luckily he aint answer so i left a message..He wont be able to hold it over my head that I didnt call him back, LOL. Oklahoma hit me up today...HE read the blog and said it was interesting..And should add it to his daily morning routine. I talked to Charleston, yeah its been a while. Anyway, we covered a lot of area and some different things but he doesnt care about Twin and Charlestonqueens relationship..Yeah right... who does he think he's fooling. Twin came over tonight...Was on my computer talking to Hairdresser. Those two crack me up with their lil Love fights. I asked Justice out on a date for tommorow...Lets see how it goes..he didnt give me a definite answer. I hope I dont get NO for an answer. WESTSIDE only the last three entries are the ones you are behind on. Iwas sitting here chatting with Justice and he was telling me about Destiny's Child cd and how he could relate to it. I then began to think about how I used to LOVE Fantasia's Cd.. My ex(THE A) gave me hell and I used to want to see him so I could sing to him..I aint gone beg you Nigga and Free Yourself.....Especially this part...Wont you be a man if its over, and just admit that things aint the same, instead of making me think its all good...... LOL. This used to be my shit. Ysiplanti hit me up and was talking about getting a car..PRAY FOR HIM

ALL things shall be remembered and cherised

Today I woke up early so I sat there and then did my routine and headed out for work. I arrived to work at 7:40. I sang to the clients and they were hugging me and laying on me like little children. I was like awwww, get off me....LOL...So I went in and went straight to work cause I had enough to occupy me. This morning I saw something to make me mad....A mother and her children standing in harm's way. She is one of those mothers who need their ass whooped cause she teaching them kids improper ways to cross the street. The woman at my job know they talk to damn much and I hate it. See they think i am this meek and timid nigga but I confronted/checked someone today for running their mouth and my name coming out of it. I dont play that shit. I talked to Westside today and he told me some good/sad news...HE is LEAVING THE GAME...Im actually proud of him cause he is making a positive attempt at making himself happy. HE said we could continue to be friends...So that made me feel better about it. HELP ME TO STAND IN INTERCESSORY PRAYER FOR HIM in being delivered. I had all these devotional songs on my heart today and I sang all day while I was at work. LORD I REPENT OF MY SINS. Dekalb, hit me up on IM and I chatted with him Naperville, Charleston, and Restaurant. One of my childhood friends wants to get an apartment. I dont know... When I got off I came home and chilled...ate a bag of cheetoes...and drunk a beer...That wasnt enough so I had to drink some vodka and fruit juice. I got ready for work and then I popped in a flick..watched it and then webcammed for someone... then I showered and back then more people wanted me to cam so I had an audience while I sat and played with my dick. LOL. Twin had this tagline up for me: He has that magic wand in his hand that leaves all the boys in a trance....He is the Magician. I am tired of being alone..I came to that conclusion today. SOMEONE needs to step up to the plate. Me and Dekalb(my ex) talk everyday and i think we have feelings, well I do. But he is not ready for a person of my stature yet. He really pisses me off sometimes...I must realize he is 19 and have not matured fully yet but he makes me mad. It seems to me that no matter if I am having a serious conversation with him or a regular conversation he laughs at me. He doesnt take me serious and it pisses me off. Am I a joke?? I read him cause he had me heated. Justice needs someone to cater too and I got the person for him. It was brought to my attention on how I used to want to be an ALPHA MAN...I miss college. LORD forgive me for all ive done on today.......GOODNIGHT!!! Then Dekalb, reads the blog and tries to get with me. He was telling me how I make him out to be a bad person and etc... I dont want to hear it.

People need to be educated

First to start off I woke up tired which automatically made it a bad day for me, Granted im a Gemini and at the turn of the second hand I can be in a bad mood,LOL. So I get up and do my daily routine. I leave for work and head down King Drive. I would like to say I NEED TO BEAT SOME MOMMA'S ASSES FOR HAVING NOT TEACHING THEIR DUMB ASS KIDS HOW TO CROSS THE STREET. The little MUTHAFUCKER's better be glad I was not the lead car else some asses woulda been going down to Provident hospital with a BIG ASS Honda embleum in their assess. The little fuckers stood at the corner and waited good and well til the hand was orange for them to not the cross the street and time for me to go to start bringing their monkey asses in the street. The other people let them cross they had the right ones. So on my commute to work tommorow if I see them and their momma, imma get out and beat the shit outta her for 1. sending little children to school by themselves(couldn't have been no more than 7 & 4) & 2. for not teaching the dumb fuckers how to cross a main street. Then imma offer her my services of helping to educate her children on the dangers of BEING DUMB at 7:30am. If they slow, that works better for me either way I got 3.5 years of going to school for education and 2 years of school for the disadvantaged. Today was full of work so those who work know whassup. Me and Naperville chatted and he read my blog(then did some investigating work). I hit up a fellow blogger and hit me back up....We'll call him BLOGGER, I read his blog daily. So I went to lunch with one of my co-workers...She is so damn phony, I should beat the shit of her too. She wanted me to talk and I guess spill tea...I dont spill tea.... On my way back to the office Naperville hits me up being NOSEY asking me about JUSTICE and what school did he attend. I hope someone didnt open their fucking mouth. Now im going out to Grannies, if I have something else...Ill write it when I come back. Ok Im back...Didnt do to much out there but sat in the back and smoked with my Momma(blacks)LOL. Me and Westside talked all the way out...Three days in a row, WOW!! We have interesting conversation and he reads my BLOG to me. He is a neat little kid...Uhm I wonder why he made me mad and made me stop talking to him this summer...LOL.....Our friendship could have blossomed into something like it is now.... He thinks I am a freak and im nasty. Im innocent....One of my best friends is a funny acting ass Nigga..he gets on my nerve the last one...LOL....I dont know why LORD!!! I texted Twin, I love him so much....He is the best friend,brother, I never had. Dekalb left me a voicemail and tried to read me...so like the person I am...called and he didnt answer so I left him some nice messages. This is it for the day....

Thoughts and Reflections of the Day

Well I woke up this morning tired as hell. I must have thought I was grown staying up all night talking on the phone to Westside which I enjoyed. In the 8months we've been chatting this is the first time we actually talked on the phone. I didnt get to work early but I was on time. My work was cut out for me today. I had so much work to do. I read Dekalb and Northside sent me an email saying: YOU DID FIND HIM, AND I REALLY FEEL THAT I HAVE FOUND HIM AS WELL..I LIKE YOU ALOT.YES, WE DO HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS, BUT THAT DOESNT\' MEAN THAT WE WERE NOT MEANT TO BE A COUPLE. BUT, I THINK YOU WERE ON HERE DOING SOMETHING, BECAUSE ALL OF SUDDEN \"WE\" MAY NOT BECOME ONE. I MISS YOUR VOICE ALREADY, AND MISS TALKING TO YOU, AND SEEING YOU. THIS IS SOME FUCK UP SHIT TO ME THOUGH. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE LIKING SOMEONE ELSE AGAIN IN MY LIFE, ESPECIALLY AFTER MY LAST RELATIONSHIP. I MISS YOUR TOUCH, AND HOLDING YOUR HANDS, AND PUTTING THESE HANDS BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS. THIS IS SOME FUCK UP SHIT...BUT, I LIKE YOU!!!! I didnt even replied to this...He is so full of shit. I let Twin read this and he said: You be havin these boys hypnotized. Your other nickname is going to be the magician. So you are the professor, counseler, and the magician. LOL, he is so silly. Then Dekalb sent me a text and asked me how did I view him.....I told him I thought he was sexy, articulant, an educated black man, not a model, down, and a man with potential. He'll be even better if he does not get any more consumed in the LIFESTYLE. So then I decided to forward that message to the ten people in my phonebook that I value their opinion. First Twin Said: Am educated black man, that has a lot going for himself, trying to make a good living for himself, can be stubborn at times but we all are and treats people how they deserve to be treated.i see my Twin, my brother from another mother, the best friend that I have been looking for all my life. I see the person that helped me figure out a lot of things about myself and made me realize that I am not alone in the way I think, handle, and figure things out. Dekalb Said: A man that is great in many ways! Kind, sweet, intelligent, strong, attractive, and funny. Winthrop said:I see an intelligent person that is kind to others and willing to help. At the same time I see something troubling them and keeping them from true happiness i see someone that takes their personality to the extreme to see who is going to be true which means you have trust issues I see some one that has the ability to be such a great lover friend and all around tremendous person if they would accept what they have and who they are and do what makes them happy and fuck the others. Other people said I was cute. After work I went to Winthrops job to wrestle. I took him to work and went to see Racine. Sat there and talked to him for a while then i went to see 75th and he was too too many things. I was going to read him. I went home and got me a a couple beers and began to clean my room. Then I took a good shower and chatted for the rest of the night with Twin,Westside, Justice(whom everyday I find out I like more), and Restaurant. Subway, texted me and asked me when was I going to let him suck on something. LOL, I answered I dont know maybe I wont. This is it, im going to bed now.

A day of Relaxation and Chilling

Got back from Indianapolis about 4am. The trip was ok, but not for me. It was my cousins Class reunion and imagine a whole bunch of old ass people. Everyone there was old enough to be my parents. I was horny as hell when I got home. I was online with Dekalb and Justice. Well at 4:30 and no hopes of getting none, I just went on and popped it off. Then Dekalb called me and I talked to him until I went to sleep. I woke up at 11am and it was a message from Northside talking some mess on my voicemail that I didnt want to here. He was telling me that he called me twice and his phone calls went unreturned. ya da ya da.... So i returned his phone call and then I was talking to him and he was going on telling me all this stuff I aint want to hear. So finally I had to read him.....I told him he was trying to push the "relationship" to fast and that he gets on my nerves because he tells me everyday about the same things and I was tired of hearing it. Besides he only met me once and in one sitting he think knows me. Basically we fucked and i was done after that. Silly Cunt....I missed church today cause of him cause he is stupid. Charleston started texting me talking crazy about us not being friends. I mean I realize we have not talked nor have we did any of the usual. But I just been chilling and trying to get me together. Plus he made me mad running his mouth and right now I dont feel like telling him anything. I love him but hopefully things will get better for us. I continued to lay there in bed until about 2pm and then I decided I would free ball today so i got dressed and went to River Oaks to get Twin, go to the mall, and look at the kids. None were out today. So I shopped and looked around. Ran into Ms. Bennett, she is good. Then I went to Ultra Foods and got some groceries for the week. I dropped Twin off and went home. I decided I wanted to eat so I made me some Meatloaf, homemade mashed potatoes, and green beans. I got everything prepared and cooking so then i came back and got on the computer. Someone from A4A (aurora) hit me up and we began chatting. Springfield hit me, i was chatting with Justice, Twin, Memphis, Aurora, and Dekalb. I turned on my webcam and did a little freak show and came all in my hand. So then I washed my hands and ran to the shower. Then I put on some pajama pants and a t-shirt to run Dekalb to the greyhound station. He ate the food I brought him, and then he wanted to get freaky. He started rubbing my dick and then leaned over to suck my dick in the car. LOL... I dropped him off and came home. Westside hit me up and said he was pissed. He told me to call him and this is the first time in 6 months that we actually had a conversation. We talked for more than one hour. He is a cutey, but he skinny. Im going to bed.

Last night and Today

Last night I went out to Sauk villages house. It was nice that was the first time I had ever been to that house. First we went into his room and starting watching a movie. Then he said lets go to the other part of the house, where he began to start cooking dinner for me( he said if I had not come he would have went to bed hungry). That was so nice, it had been a while since a man cooked for me, the last time it was Springfield. Boy I wanted him so bad...but I was maintaining self control cause he is my friend and I am trying to talk to Justice. So I did the nice thing that any friend would do I gave him a friendly massage. All my friends were texting telling me to make a move but i didnt. Needless to say Dekalb was trying to keep tabs on me saying what, who, are you doing? But he doesnt care about me. When I left there, i went to his house to see him and his drunk dyke cousins getting light out side. I laughed. He looked good. He was drunk as hell and talking crazy. I wanted to beat him.Well I must get ready for my trip to Nap town... I dont know what is wrong with Winthrop, he must be on his period today. I said to him your a hoe and now he is mad. As many names as he calls me, and he got some fucking nerves to be mad.

A day Of Joy, hope, and a day of blessings

Last night I went to bed kind of hurt. Dekalb called me and told me that his cousin knew someone who worked at my job and they were trying to clock my tea. Uhm, I wondered why we she would do that? Then I got to realize I work with a whole bunch of lonely miserable women. Dekalb tries to act like he dont care about me but I can tell he does he got mad about something I did and he was curious as to know who people are on my blog... I went to bed.
Woke up this morning again at 5:45 again, but I was like hell naw and went back to sleep and woke up at 6:10. I got up and did my normal routine and made it to work again by 7:45. Upon going to work I was listening to John Hannah again and this young man was on there and caught my attention. He was telling how his mother, an Evangelist put him out. He felt as if she was bogus because she put him out because she said SHE WILL NOT HAVE ANY HOMOSEXUAL SPIRITS IN HER HOUSE. LOL. They he said woman over and over kept hurting him so he gave a man a try. Makes me think about the story of my life, when i had my first bisexual encounter.... Girls had hurt me and I tried it and here I am today....getting put out by my aunt and I dont know the real reason but I know some of the underlying factors: She cant control me, she doesnt care about the LIFESTYLE(mind you I have not admitted anything nor am I some flaming fag) or anything associated with it, and that she is a miserable old hag. LOL. Work was ok,I got some good news: Dolton told me the pregnancy results were negative, she was STD and STI free, and I got a GOOD raise from my job. Much Needed and Much deserved. Twin texted me and told me he was on the road to go see Charleston. Hope they have fun. THANK YOU GOD!!!! One of my exco-workers came and took me to lunch. Boy if he was some form of Family. He notices me...Oh he says I see you really lost some weight...Im saying he notices..Thats whassup. Well Northside called me again on the same meladrama he likes to give me. Thats why I will be without him and Hopefully with Justice. Whom I was talking too while he was giving me too much. Today I confronted my issues with him and asked if he was interested in getting to know me better. He said yeah!!!(what a sign of relief) didnt want to waste my precious time. 4pm came and out the door I went in pain I dont know if pulled a muscle in my growing or my appendix is behaving improperly.LOL!! I came home and got in this bed and slept until 6:30p when Sauk Village called me and invited me to his house. I told him i didnt feel good and he said he just wanted someone to watch movies with. Were just friends and have never messed around at all and will never. So i called Northside and canceled the night I have with him cause I know what he on and Im not on that with him. So while writing this blog, I was Chatting with Justice and 87th street. Man did i use to have a thing for him..

Beginning something New

Well this is the first entry and I guess I can start telling about me. My name is Maurice and I am a 24 year old Gemini (you know not to mess with me). I LOVE THE LORD and pretty much will do anything to please him. I am an Eastern Illinois University college grad. I work down town and I am a mental health professional (so dont start with me, I deal with your kind on a daily basis). I decided to do this cause I basically live on the computer; the job requires it, home requires it, LOL. But I am a cool laid back person and fun to be around once you get to know me. I will more than likely not use the real names and will tell only about me. I got a lot of friends but some that are really close to me: Twin, Winthrop, Charleston, Subway, and STL. Then I got my dips or people I talk to like that which are Naperville, Northside, Dekalb, and STLdude.

To recap today......Well I woke up at 5:45am, unusual but I did. I just laid there and meditated until 6 when it was time to get up. I immediately did I do every morning monday through Friday and then got dressed and went upstairs to eat. Then Came back grabbed my bag for work and went out the door. I arrived at work at 7:45, 15 minutes earlier, so i chilled in my car and listened to John Hannnah act a damn fool as he does every morning. So I went in to work and went to my office. Honestly I didnt do anything today... Chatted on Yahoo and thats about it. Well Naperville was online and I decided to say something to him because yesterday we had a bitter bitter argument which made him tell me to erase his numbers, etc and never to call him again. LOL. Well we were all apologetic and he decided he still cared about me and wanted to be my friend. LOL. As the day goes alone about 12 I decide to turn on the celly (been fasting for 3 weeks from it) and there is a Message from Northside. Telling me to call him back AND then three texts came in (sprint is always delayed) from Twin and Sauk Village. The day was basically ok..and then we had a meeting.. I couldnt tell you nothing about cause i was rocking in the chair day dreaming and twisting my hair. Time to go home. Got home about 5:15 signed on the computer and talked to Ohio, 35th St. and Twin. Later this night Naperville, Dekalb, and Northside all called me tonight. I also been chatting on YIM with Justice thats who I am feeling right now. Northside, was being too many things as usual. I dont know why people have to act up. Now my friends Twin and Hairdresser are fighting. The two of them need to just get back together and stop acting up. I been counseling both of them all week and they still misbehaving.... Dekalb said he is coming home tommorow..We will see what tomorow brings,