Selling yourself short!

I went to church on yesterday and much to my surprise I noticed the back of someone’s head that I used to know. So I kind of leaned over to the side to see who it was, and LORD it was the person. All different kinds of emotions began to run through my body. My initial emotion was HATE and vengeance for the things the person had done to me then it subsided into joy and Peace. I no longer had those ill feelings and I began to feel GOD working in me. See I went to church 1. Cause my heart was heavy 2. I was battling spiritual warfare and seemed to be losing the fight 3. I have a lot of hate in my heart 4. I had not been in a long. All of that is a lot to weigh down on one person. But before I clocked out I know I needed to get it in gear. GOD was breaking me down and stripping me of all the worldly things that I love and making them more difficult to replace. How Could I turn my back on GOD when he wakes me up, takes care of me, and keeps me out of harms way.
I was having a discussion with one of my friends and he goes on to tell me that I think I am better than everyone else because 1. I won’t settle for less 2. I only buy the best of things 3. Cause I look down of people on who I think I are beneath me, and the list goes on. When that was told to me I began to feel bad because maybe I do look down on people and look at them like their the scum of the earth.
I’ll say this one thing about me. I LIKE WHAT I LIKE and I seldom differentiate from such. Secondly, I had to talk to some other people who think like I do. Simply put its jealousy, because people should be happy for you. Now I’m being hated on because I wont go out and buy a 1993 GMC Safari or a 1994 Chevy Astro Van. Or maybe I should buy a 1996 Ford Winstar. GUESS what? It ain’t gone happen. I was created and I’m destined for GREATNESS and thats what I will have. Why should I settle for less and belittle myself on someone else’s account. This statement here just made me cringe, “why do you have to have a foreign car with heated leather seats and wood grain?” My initial response was going to be, WHY IN THE HELL NOT? But I didn’t say it. I am not going to lower myself to suite anyone else’s needs. I like what I like. Besides if I lower myself and my standards then I am sinking down to a lower status. I will not lower myself, I will not set low standards for myself, NO I will not buy an old car, no I will not buy expensive things for myself. I just wont settle and I don’t expect anyone to want me too. Each and everyone one of my friends have Newer cars with Cash’s car being the newest with the LOWEST miles because he doesn’t drive it. LOL. I guess my friends think they are better than everyone too… GUESS WHAT! I guess were that way…So TooRoyal, Cash, DaLilBBROWN, Keisha.. I guess we’re grand.. But we’re happy. If you have to spend your money then you might as well be happy spending it on what you have to pay for. Me, my new car which I will get very soon (I’m still shopping) will have LEATHER, SUNROOF, WOOD GRAIN, BLUETOOTH and every other available feature just the way I love it. I got a friend who bought a NEW Car and he pays a pretty penny for it but sometimes he is not happy with it because it lacks other things that he wants. So that’s a case of spending your money and not being happy. This same person suggested to me that I buy a lil beater for now and then trade it in. Whats the point? I’ll be further upset down in the end.
The point of this blog is to say that BE HAPPY if you got to spend your money and don’t settle for less.

Heaven Knows

I don't know if it is my nerves or what, but my diet has gotten out of control. I have been doing well since the New year hit with not eating junk food and meat. Since Thursday my nerves must have been bad cause I been eating cookies, cakes and candy. Then I had me a Big Mac and a small rib tip, which I will add was EXCELLENT. I'm going get it back together because on tomorrow I will get back to my strict diet. on Thursday evening me and my granny went car shopping to get my new car. I found a car that I liked, but I didn't like the color so I didn't get it. I want the 2007 Toyota Camry but its so hard to find a SE V6 in white.

Friday- My dilemma was trying to figure out the best option for me. I found 2 2002 Toyota Camry's that were $15,900 a piece and both had on 55k miles on them. I was looking at the year and its already 6 years and then when I am done paying for it, it will be 11 years old. I can't see myself paying 3-4 hundred a month on an old ass car. Besides that, It will have about 300k miles on it. On Average I drive about 25k a year and its purely ridiculous. So Friday night I went car shopping in search of my car. I went to one lot and walked around and walked through the inside, GUESS WHAT? No one asked me did I need some help... So finally I walked to another part and the finance manager got me a sales man. I let him explain the car to me, and then SAID NO I would rather not deal with a business that does not greet its customers for whatever reason. Finally, I found the white one, and I was ready to do business and do you know that wanted me to put down 9thousand dollars for a car and still have a $900 car note. Are they fucking mad? So then i told him the amount of money and the most i wanted to pay monthly was $450 and that included an extended warranty, Gap Ins, term life insurance, and auto-guard protection for my car. Well he kept talking that foolery, and the note would have been $520. Then he asked me did I have a co-signer. WTF??? I immediately started packing my shit up, hell I ain't had a co-signer on shit since I bought my first car in 2000. Hell i make well over 3????k a year and when in the fuck should I need a cosigner on a $28k car. I almost went off on him because I have not missed a car note on any car I've had in the last 7 years but I GUESS it ain't his fault. I just take my coins elsewhere.

Saturday- I went to a baby shower, Normally I dont do these but i would rather not be cursed out. It was a good shower with lots of food and people.. No men of course except the babies daddy and his TRADE crew of friends. Only one of them was attractive, but he seemed a little slow. Slowly, the DYKE'S started rolling in and LORD, were these some big burly ass woman. Then it was this lady was so cute and then and had that hair laid. I was cool until she SPOKE. "What up Rena" I swung around so fast that my hair hit me in the face. Out of the little body was this BARITONE VOICE! YES, her voice was much deeper than mine. LOL.... I was done. I just kept smiling but I wanted to burst out in laughter. I continued to sit there and I saw this tall big black FIGURE enter the room.. This GIRL was so black... that all I saw was her pink scarf but she had the most beautiful skin in the world. i wanted to ask her was she a ZULU princess. I didn't cause she could probably kick my ass. LOL

Its Sunday and My Halo needs recharging.. LOL... I'm sitting here getting ready for church.

People

I am feeling a certain type of way about our people and over the next few weeks or so I will post my rants in my blogs.
Last night when I was sleep I had a dream that was off the chain. Well it started like this I went for my job interview today and one of my friends was there. He is not one of my close friends but he is in my Friendship Circle. They put the both of us in a back room. My friend began to express his desiring LOVE for me and how he wanted me to be inside of him. LOL... Next thing I know he began to strip and tell me how hot he was. I just laughed and told him to put on HIS Damn Clothes for neither of us got the job. He went on and on.. So I checked out his Lil Chocolate round body and told him to come and see me later and then I would scratch his itch for him because Quiet as Kept I've wanted him too.. LOL... Do you know I was sweating bullets in my sleep and had to get up at 4 o'clock in the morning and open my window. LOL
Well this morning, I went on my job Interview for A HIGHER PAYING position. I was really tense when I went to the Interview and it was like I had a lump in my throat that wouldnt go down. I kept trying to swallow but it wouldnt go away. So I went in and Immediately I was told you have an impressive Resume for a young person and you have done alot. Shit, I thought it was crap. The interview went really well and she told me how impressed she was with me as a person and how I answered all of her questions with the answers that she wanted. Also, that she loved the LEADERSHIP skills I possessed. I was told that you are pretty wise for someone your age and that you THANK your grandma on my behalf for bringing up a strong man. Im Proud.. I will know by Wednesday if I got the job because there were 3 other candidates that we're equally as qualified. Ultimately, its not her decision and it is up to the Director. So Pray for me and WISH me luck.
Now on to my rant, why is that black people steadily do things to further dig themselves down in the DIRT!~ I look at my people men and woman who have the tattoos up the back of their necks and all down on their hands. That is so unprofessional and where in corporate America are they going to get hired. Im not passing judgement on anyone because I have a tattoo on my forearm but when I go to an interview it can be covered with a shirt and no one will ever see it until after im hired. Personally if I was the interviewer, that would be an immediate dismissal. Next, the black people and the many noticeable piercing they have on their faces. I dont understand why people feel that they're piercings are more important than money. Damnit, if your going to a job interview take that shit out. No one is going to hire you. It clearly shows where their priorities are in relation to getting ahead in life or staying behind. I call these people LOW GRADE, LOW BUDGET, CLASSLESS INDIVIDUALS because some of the things you can do is the cause of you not having a job. These are the same people that holler that "the man" is holding them back. NO Jackass, your the cause of you not getting a good paying job. I just want these people to take time to think about the things that are already against them. 1. They're Black 2. Sex- They are intimidated by us 3. Orientation- your gay, so now you are being discriminated on for 2 reasons. 4. Records- alot of us have some kind of record 5. THE BULLSHIT. Think about it! Im done venting.

GOD WILL

You know many of you have heard that old saying that GOD helps those who helps themselves.
Well I thought it was time for me to help myself. I updated my resume and began to send it out to companies and to other sites within my company for promotion. Well Im glad to say I have an interview for tommorow for a position that pays more coins but not enough. Wish me luck!
I notice that everyone wants a change in their lives but do nothing to make a change. They sit around and complain but never want to do anything. I hate it! No where in the bible or in History does it say because your parents were low lifes that you have to be one. NO where does it say that because you have to be on welfare cause your parents were. Now it does go without saying that people need to take care of themselves and make the best of life. LIFE is what you make it, and if you want it to go bad then it will.. Im a living witness and coming from where I come from..... THATS A whole nother blog in itself...

DST CORONATION

Sorry it took me so long to get this finished, hell with school, working 2 jobs, and what little social life I have I have been avoiding it. But since its early in the morning I will just gone and a head and end out the saga.
Well we finally got up on Sunday Morning to do what we planned to do and that was celebrating Dr. MLK Jr’s Birthday. We all got up and got dressed while waiting for me and Cash’s friends. It took them forever seemed like eternity. Finally they arrived and we proceeded down stairs to only walk into what looks a Bunch of Big Burly Men dressed in their Delta Sigma Theta Garments and Pens. Now as much as I love the Ladies of DST, I couldn’t fathom the idea of OOOOOOPPPPPS to the Big Burly Men Of Delta Sigma Theta. You would think that it was a real event the way they were dressed and the amounts of people who were out there. Well we pressed our ways through the crowd probably to be stared down as if we were nothing. I clearly didn’t even look back because I was not going to fight with any of them because I know I am quick at the mouth and I would say something and I didn’t have my piece on me. It was so many of them out that they started calling the real Greeks out there. Well when my sugar came back up from being RAN LOWER than ever we pressed our way to the MLK Historical District. In all the times I have been to ATL I never been to this site. I found all of this to be interesting and I plan to go back. After this we met up with Cayos one of my friends from Chicago and then we went to the Underground and to Cowtippers, where the whole table ordered Cajun Chicken Pasta and that shit was HOTT.... It got me right together. After that we took a mad dash for Piedmont Park, the ATL park of the GAYS. We didn’t see any meeting and greeting but it was cool to take a nice walk. After this we went back to the hotel. Then me an Dat went to see some strippers that I didn’t care to much so I went back to car and went to sleep. We then journeyed back to Illinois and back to our respective cities to be greeted by the snow and ice. This is the end.

Bloggers Meet and GREET

I forgot to mention the Child that got out of her truck with her Full Beard and mustache connected. We he had on a a big white sun hat, a lime green shirt, white flip flops, and some white capris. He marched through the parking lot with his entourage. I guess we were having some kind of AKA convention. It was just to much for me. S0 we got up Saturday morning and starting getting ready for the day we had planned. Then we get in the car and TOOROYAL is driving once again. He was driving and their was no exit ramp for us so we had to drive along and look for another EXIT. We get off and tell me why he is doing U turn on the Exit ramps.. LOL... He was trying to kill us. Once again me and Cash had to clutch our seat belts. So then we proceeded to go back to the exit ramp for Atlantic Station for the meet and greet. Hell it took us about 15 or more minutes to get off the ramp and then another 15 mins to the Fox Grill. I was greeted by the bloggers and waited for more to come.. In my mind I was analyzing the people standing around me. Uhmmmmm was running through. So we proceed in and go to sit down.

After the meeting we walked around the Atlantic to watch trade and etc. We then met up with Beatiqueen and went to The Lenox Mall. This is where you could find any type of fag you want: Trade, Queen, Butch Queen, Fem Queen, Fag, Sissy, Bottom, top, and all of the above. They were running that mall like they ran it and running me low at the same time. This one FAG, had on his low rider jeans, Pumps, and a Nice Big pocketbook to carry on his arm. Then we went back to the Hotel and stumbled upon The ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA Convention, Coronation ball, and Line Crossing. I walked in the building to everyone dressed in Pink and Green. I wanted to say Skiiiiiiiii Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee my sorors! I couldnt believe it! So then we went back up to the room and then we went to Bulldogs but me and datsexynig didnt go in because the line was wrapped around the parking lot. So then went to the HYPE! I saw strippers but Dat sexy was mesmorized by them.. he was pulling out his coins and feeling on things with them. I aint interested in No Cock so I wasnt impressed. But the highlight of my night was when I saw T-Malone from Enrique Cruz Movies, I would have never imagined him to be such a FAG but the way he was pooching all around the club showed me different. I don't know why I am shocked from him taking all the dicks that he takes in the movies. Then Alex from Noah's was there and I got geeked so I extended my hand and he shook it. After that we went to Ihop and was greeted by one of the Old Kids named Frederick. Frederick was letting us have it full time. He is quite the lady with his permed spiked hair, French Tips, beat Mug, and the blouse he was wearing. I could barely look at him especially not at 6 o'clock in the morning. So then I went to meet my Friend we'll call N.Carolina. It was so late I ended up spending the 3 hours in there sleep in his chair.... Stay Tuned for the REST tommorow morning.

Martin Luther King Jr Weekend

My Thursday started off very stressful because I had so much to do and so little time. Well I got up and went to work because I had an important meeting that I couldn’t miss. I wanted to leave early but I had not one good excuse to leave. So instead I sat at my desk and worked on my homework and paper. 4p rolled around and I ran out the door to my ride and PUNCHED it home and was there by 4:15p and I live 30m away. Thoughts ran through my mind about what I had to do: Pack, paper, sleep and clean. I got in the house and then my sister wanted to start playing redecorate the house, so I quickly changed the living room around and I started packing my things off of the checklist that I wrote at work. Then I sat down to write the rest of paper. Why does it always happen like this? I couldn’t find the sources, and then I couldn’t find the right words to end it out. Then I saved it to the computer and it got lost some how. I wanted to FUCKING SCREAM and rip each and every last Dred out of my head. So I finally found it and emailed it to my professor. By then it was 8:50p and I needed to get going within the next hour. So I hoped in the tub and soaked until it was time for me to get going… I scooped up Cash and Granny and then picked up this SEXY ASS 07 Toyota Avalon of course after me and Cash argued about which one we wanted. We then scooped Datsexynig and TOOROYAL.

I drove all the way to Nashville and couldn’t take it anymore. I was seeing shit like GHOSTS and Ghouls. I was like its Daylight and these bitches have slept long enough so I made TOOROYAL take the wheel. I went to sleep and then I woke up cause I felt the car jerk and then I woke up to this Avalon on 2 wheels tearing up through LOOK OUT Mountain.. LOL. All I remember is Me and Cash Clutching our seat belts and me yelling “Slow this muthafucker Down, you ain’t about to kill me.” Ok he slowed for a few and then I woke up to him chasing a 300C talking about it’s the kids and then him playing with the Trade in the Lexus. If I could have had a video to show you how we were flying past cars and darting in and out of traffic.. Finally, we arrived at the Microtel Inn.. Shit I got out shaking and shit. LOL. We were greeted by the Kids getting out of their rentals, looking out the windows, and standing outside. We all went upstairs and got on our laptops. I got on mine for school and everyone else got on theirs to check A4A, BGC, and 360. Since everyone else was on it I logged into my accounts. We then hit the streets to greet the kids Chi-town style. Then we went to this hole in the wall ass club called TOWER. Now clearly the fire the dept said 182 max in the club at once but as I was steadily being pressed against the wall. As soon I met Mississippi I rolled out of the club to meet Sebring a stunt queen from ATL. Needless to say I could tell what he was on. Clearly, I thought I made it clear that I was not looking for sex but it must be what he wanted.. We went back to the hotel and slept til Saturday… I’ll finish the rest in a lil bit… STAY TUNED

Reality

As we all Know I aint of a TV person but last night I did partake in viewing 2 new REALITY shows that come on cable television. The First is Gay, Straight, and Taken which airs on Lifetime. I watched it and I enjoyed it but the whole time I was saying to myself WhyTF do they waste money on stupid shit like this when people are homeless and starving. Im sitting here struggling pay check to pay check and these fuckers are wasting millions of dollars on a stupid ass dating show. Now, the inner fag loved the show and GUESS what suprisingly I was totally wrong about both the guys.

Next was "I love New York." Her fucking mother looks like a FUCKING HORSE whose dressed up in drag. Whatever man that was fucking her must've been drunk cause that bitch is ugly. OMG, I cant stand that bitch just like I dont like her SLUTTY ass daughter. The bitch is ignorant and indignant. Now those were some PHOINE ass brothers on there especially WOOD. Im glad she dismissed him so I can go find him now and make him... LOL... I couldnt believe she kept that ignorant ass CHANCE... She likes a hood boy I guess. See now I remember why I started dating boys now... The girls didnt like me cause I was not HOOD ENOUGH and I wasnt beating their asses and talking to them bad.... Why dont they like a normal grandma's boy?

I dont like people who judge others as if they are better than the next? What makes you better than the next? Does your sin take presidence over mine? Is not a sin a sin... Before you cast the first think about what your doing and make sure you sweep around your own front down before you try to sweep around mine. Over the last couple weeks or so people have been telling me what I should be doing and what I shouldnt. How I should do this and other things. This is one thing I dont like about Black People they are quick to correct you and they either doing the same, something equally as bad, or dont have their shit in order.... I cant stand it... The next person that does it to me is going to get a READING of their lifetime..

My Weekend

My weekend started off differently than it has in a long time. Usually my friday night are spent with Cash and Dalilbbrown and we would get something to eat, drinks, and watch movies. Well they would watch them and I would sleep through them. LOL.. But it was spent working on some more school work that I had intended to do. Early Saturday morning I got up and went to look at some cars. LORD, I never realized that cars are so expensive. I went to VW dealer to look at the Toureq, I knew then that I didnt want one because it was a brand new one on the lot and it was all apart and he was telling me nothing was wrong with it. Ok, sure. Then I ran up to Aurora to take some stuff back and get the money back on my card. Then I went to a couple more dealers to look at the Camry and the 4 Runner. Damn, does anyone drive 6 cylinders anymore? At the VW dealer they didnt have one 6 cylinder in the Passat and do you believe he tried to show me a Jetta? I was appalled. Then I went to the other lots and it just seems to be impossible to find these new cars with a V6, leather, sunroof, and all the immenities. I test drove a 4 Runner and absolutely loved the truck but it was so plain. From the looks of things Im going to end up going to the dealer and ordering me a Camry with everything I want on it. Later that evening I did my PPT for my class and Sunday followed suite doing the same thing. I am tired today and cant to get off and go home and start working on the 2 papers I need to have complete before I leave town for ATLANTA on Thursday? Who all will be there again?

Kicking My Ass

I am thankful to be in the land of living on today. I brought the New Year with a bang and spent it with some of those whom I love dearly: My Brother and sister, Cash, King Louis, and Dalilbbrown and my sisters friend. They conned me into having a last minute get together and we had a blast. I forgot to add one resolution and that is being NICE to everyone I encounter even those that lack respect. I know this will be one bitter hard struggle. All im going to say is working and school is kicking my Royal Black Ass. God I thought I would be able to work 2 jobs, have a social life, and have time for school. My friends you guys know that I love you but Papa has got work to do and it must be done if I want my 4.0. Oh yeah, so far from the work I have already completed I have a 100% in my class and I am not looking forward to getting anything less than a 99 in the class which is still an A. Getting this A has many benefits, it has reduced car insurance and it makes my family proud. LOL. I am not gone sit hear and lie and say im not tired.. Cause i feel like ive been through the fire and through the FLOOD.. After I left my 2nd job, I went home and had some work that had to be in by midnight(moutain standard time) and after that I crashed and was out in 10mins max. I think another reason its dragging me down is because I have been out of school for a while and it all seems foreign to me. LOL.. Damn APA formatted papers. WTF! But as far as this weekend is concerned it will be spent finishing Projects, typing 2 ten page papers that are due next week. If I dont do them I wont enjoy my trip to ATL next week because ill be stuck in the hotel room typing papers and shit.. Which I aint gone do... Also, I got to take some stuff back to the store so Ill have money to have a great time in the ATL. Car Shopping is in order as well. Tell me what you think about these cars.