Under The Weather

On Saturday I stayed at my mom's house all day laying around and after cooking my whole family lunch. Then I went home cause I felt like ISH. Starbucks sleeps with a fan on and it just didnt set well with me. Sunday I did my regular routines i.e. Church all day and in between services going to get some food as we like to call it "a Snack." Still feeling like hell I went home and went to bed. I got up yesterday morning like Dang.. I feel horrible.. I went on to work anyway cause I hate to stay home. Bad choice! so I left and went to the Dr. to find out I had a sinus infection. Hell it took me 3 hours to get in to see the Dr. They made me feel like a welfare case. Then I went to Walgreens to get my prescription filled and can you believe these GHETTO m and F'ers didnt even acknowledge my presence or say anything.. COOL. I got an email to type to the District Manager when I get home. I politely started up my car and went to Osco. Hell I got Insurance I aint got to be bothered with that nonsense. I fasted for 24 hours and boy was a Niggah hungry.. I stopped by the Grocery store and got some Soup and crackers. At 6 six I committed a sin. GLUTNEY! LOL.. But then I aint eat no more for the rest of the day. I tried to lay down and rest.. the next thing I heard was the little pitter padder of little feet running across my head. DANGGIT! The grandbabies were there. I stayed in my room and didnt come out until it was time for a shower. Then I marched right back to my bed and went to sleep. I got up this morning feelin a little better. As I was getting ready for work I learned that we have lost another influential person. R.I.P. Coretta Scott King.

It is sad to hear that she passed but I know she was tired and ready to go be with Martin. Im putting a picture up for everyone to see what Maurice looks like but it will be down before Midnight tonight when I get out of church. Then to add to my boring day two transvestities came up to my job looking for jobs. If your going to go somewhere looking for a job and want to dress up like woman use a womans name and not your male government name. Both of them looked two HOTT A** messes and needed to be beat back into manhood! Then the ugliest one looked my boss up and down and she did everything but call him a B**CH. LOL! it was talk of the job but it was surely funny.

Your Blogging Type is Kind and Harmonious

You're an approachable blogger who tends to have many online friends.People new to your blogging circle know they can count on you for support.You tend to mediate fighting and drama. You set a cooperative tone.You have a great eye for design - and your blog tends to be the best looking on the block!

What's" Your Blogging Personality?

Things that make you go Wooo!

Or should have I entitled it "As the blog turns" LOL..@ You Freak on Nature..I promise to title of my blogs that and ill dedicate it to you.Last night as I anticipated I got a phone call from Starbucks saying to come to his house and we would go to his friends house. Cool, I was already dressed and getting ready to go to Dolton's house who cooked some dinner that she wanted me to taste. Im like cool, I stopped by there and ate something then went to my aunts house to see if I had some mail. No mail.. Then I went to Starbucks house and we went to the boondocks to see his friend who has a Very Nice house. On the way out there, we talked about friends. He thinks its stupid for a person to not have any friends. He was getting angry with me because I said I dont have any and all I have are associates. Well its true, im working on gaining friends and introducing a couple of my old ones back into my life. He told me he was gone pull over, take his belt off, and whoop me in the woods.. How hot would that be? LOL! Question: Do you believe that friends are important in ones life? His friends "children" were there and having fun. I sat and observed, and engaged in meaningful conversation with everyone that was there. Eventually I was so bored or tired that I ended up nodding out on the couch. Let's go and that was all I had to hear cause I was ready to go. I was giving the option of staying which I gladly accepted cause I wouldnt have made it. I was knocked out in 2 minutes. I slept all night and woke and we were engaged in another indepth conversation. This one was about being HIV positive. I am thankful for negative status. He asked me would I date someone who was was positive and my honest opinion/ first instinct answer would be NO! I can be friends with them and be a strong support system but I cant date them. For I know someone whom I associate with from time to time is positive. I dont discriminate but we can be Associates.Why endanger my life? If im negative why involve/engage with someone who is and risk becoming infected? Then he started telling me that it is nothing wrong with having HIV and that have if they stick their regimen then it should be ok and that I could date them. I totally disagree! The only way I could be in a relationship with a positive person if they found out while we together and If I absolutely loved them. Love is so hard to come by these days cause it is all a game. This makes me think about the episode of Noah's Arc where Benito told Rickey he was positive after Rickey found out he was Negative. Things changed for them and the ending result was the Rickey loved him. I left his house with that thought in mind. Would I date a positive person? I want to know your opinion. Feedback Please People!

He promised me success

Last night I went to the interview. I was not nervous. I was told to sit down and fill out the application. As I was filling out the application, I was caught off guard with the interview questions. Oh, wow! I was ready for her. I answered all those questions and gave her some more. From what I hear from another person whom she is friends with.. She is very Impressed with me for me to be a young man so young. Then she wanted to know about my future, LOL. As of right now... Wife and Children are not in the future..... Owning my own home, Future goal possibly 06...... Ill save the rest for another blog entry later. Ok, to Sum it all up, I GOT THE JOB! Ill start when my background check comes back. I aint worried about it because if I had a negative background I would not be employed in my present position as a counselor. After the interview, Starbucks called and said he was by my house. To bad I was not there. I went to my momma house and chilled out there for a while then I was going to go see Starbucks... He didnt answer so I went home. I talked to an associate of mine and we were talking about rekindling our friendship. I dont want to rush into anything. Im taking it slow with introducing people into and back into my life because I dont want the "Ships" to fail. I actually want them to work this year. And God separated us for a reason, 1. cause were not supposed to be friends 2. he wants is to appreciate one another and see what we mean to one another 3. To learn to love/accept one another unconditionally. I was so tired when I got home last night that I crashed! I was in bed before 9 and sleep by 10.. although I was holding the phone trying to hold on. I woke up at 6 this morning and got ready for work. I had to iron, wash dishes, and finish my laundry. Im glad I was energized and felt like I was doing something. My sinuses are giving me hell tho. I got to work and I was sitting here thinking about what Im going to be doing for Valentines day and who im going to spend it with. As of right now I am single with a prospect in mind! But I will not rush and if all else fails Ill go EAST to spend it with my other single friend. I am actually sitting here thinking of planning my evening and how I want it to go. Im just hoping it doesnt snow this year like it has been doing for the last few years. THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY! Of course I aint doing much work on today so I decided to go and talk to some of my colleagues. LORD, you cant place a Freaky Gemini in the room with 3 freaky cancers. All im going to say is that was a counter productive conversation that had all of us sweating. LOL.. LORD all those hormones started to rise and cause heat. Now that I have got this out.. I got two activities to plan for my clients. Ill lHolla

War

Last night I was pissed at the war between fox and NBC. I attempted to watch Jamie Foxx's musical show while deep down inside I wanted to watch American Idol. So I had a plan to watch Jamie Foxx and catch as much of American Idol while Jamie was on Commercial. Hell Naw.. when Jamie was on Commercial so was IDOL. So I alternated between the two.. The Jamie Foxx was superb and Idol was good the parts I did catch. I spent my evening with my company Dolton who came over and I had not seen her since December. Then I washed my hair and retwisted my roots to make a great presentation for my future employer. I talked to Starbucks for a while. I'm impressed he is putting forth more effort. Im getting more phone calls, texts, and even a little time here and there. Yes, my interview is today. I came to work all dressed up and everyone was like why are you dressed up? My reply was that I just came to work with my good clothes on! They didnt say nothing else. I have not done anything today. It seems that all I have done is take pics and walk and talk to my co-workers and boss. We're fat..we're in the bosses office talking about Grits, eggs, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast. Uhm, got my mouth watering now. Well wish me luck.. Im leaving a little early to get to job interview. Im not vervous and I know I got it for I know my future is already blessed.

Unbeweavable

Last night while I was at church my friend as we realized that a lot of the members of our church need to give them horses back their hair. From the first lady on down who lately has been keeping a nice big phony pony in her head. LOL….. We had us a good time today. It started when she pointed out that everyone had some type of weave in their head. Then she talked about how she almost fell over the pew from looking to see if this one girl’s hair was hers or not. IT WASN’T! I did everything but scream, and then she said she was going to go get her some glued in her head. I showed her who she could go and barrow some from. Then it was this one old lady who must have paid some good money for her tracks. When she shouted they didn’t move an inch. I started to ask her to give me her beauticians business card so I could pass it on. LOL! I feel I have grew, developed, and formed into a totally new person. I’m not nearly half as angry as I used to be. Although I’ve been alone for a while, I am ready to introduce people back into my life and will appreciate some of them more. I’m doing pretty well in health eating plan I’m on. I’m losing weight and I’m happy with that. I have to make sure I don’t get to a point where I’m to small and Ill oppose myself. I think I have found me an apartment, and I have a few appointments to view some of them. I was in this boring training/meeting that has me pulling my hair, nodding out, drinking water and O.J. I would so much rather be at my desk on yahoo messenger and/or reading emails. Last time I was here someone took it upon themselves to lie to my boss talking about I was loud. How can you be loud when your sleep? I said if I catch someone looking at me today like they want to tell a lie. I’m going to go straight off like Madea. The first time I catch someone looking imam stare back. The second time I’m going to say YEZ, can I help you? Why are you looking at me? You need to be paying attention to your presenter, I am not giving a presentation, and if your looking at me then you cant get the knowledge your presenter is presenting to you. Didn’t YO MOMMA teach you not to look in grown peoples mouf’s? LOL! Unfortunately, the only white lady at my job looked at me. I felt Madea rise and looked hard at her. She immediately looked away! I don’t know why this hoe thinks she runs everybody. Everyone cant stand her and us the BLACKS (the majority) are going to get her. So today before it was time for me to go home my co-worker says I need to be quiet. She tells me about the 19 year old “BOY” she heard me say I had sex with over the weekend. In fact she misheard me wrong. I had not had sex with anyone.

Completely Refreshed

Sunday night my aunt had me up until like 2 o'clock in the morning. It seemed like she had so much for me to do. If it wasnt stripping and sanding walls to taking down christmas decorations that should have been down centuries ago. I stayed home on yesterday trying to enjoy my vacation. Which I did not sleep late nor did I relax. I ended up doing some work for my aunt. Then I chilled out and started looking for an apartment. Then I went down town to take care of some financial business. While I was down there I decided to go and see Starbucks and have lunch with him although I didnt eat. We talked and I enjoyed that. I dont know why but I really am attracted to him. We talked about alot, and if it would have been anyone else I would have I would have kicked them to curb and moved on. I am getting a feel for him so I dont trip so much no more. I like spending time with him and like the attention he gives to me when I get it. I recant my statement on divorcing cause that AINT SOMETHING I want to do. I believe I may be missing out on something good if I do it. He is starting tp show me more attention so we will see what tommorow brings. I been feeling really good lately and all my praises Go to the MOST HIGH GOD. Apartment searching is so hard cause it seems like every area is not a good place to live. Im getting frustrated. I really hated staying at home.. If I aint got something to do then I should have been at work. Last night I went to church and it was a very annoited spirit filled service. We walked through some blessed water and I felt so much better when it was over. I am changed, to think I made slight amends with two people whom I lost contact with. Then I let some people cross the street when i normally would have made them wait. I felt like all my burdens, pains, fears, everything else was lifted last night. I went to bed at peace although it was late. I woke this morning energized. It actually felt good to be back at work for the LORD knows I hate to stay at home with no privacy and peace. I was actually working, then I got a phone call calling me in for an interview. I was glad cause I need a part time gig to make some more money. Pray for me Future for it is already blessed. I called some apartments and set up some appointments to go view some.

Finding Myself

Friday afternoon I got off work and rushed home to pack so I could get out of town. I finally made up my mind to go south. At 7p, I was ready to go to clear my thoughts, come up with a solution to end my lonliness, and to figure out exactly why I am lonely at 24. In my pursuit I started driving and ended up at an associates house. Low and behold the snows starts and its coming down hard. I had to spend the night but I left first thing in the morning to get back on my journey a much needed vacation. While driving down there I talked to one of my college associates and we covered many subjects. 1st. Schooling, its time for me to go back to school been out of school for over an year. So I will be enrolling in someone's school for the next school session. 2. Financial matters... I aint gone worry about them for I know they will get better. I had so much fun while down there. While I was there I was doing some soul searching trying to find myself. I think I may have found who the true me is. Came up with solutions to my loneliness, and to answer to why I dont have any close friends. I met an associate whom I have been chatting with for a couple months. He drove over to see me so I left my friends and went and had dinner with him. It was nice meeting him and hope to see him soon. Imma have to divorce starbucks because he must think im a joke or something. I got back early this morning with a great happy spirit. Today, church was great and I was really blessed by the messages I recieved. The first thing the Evangelist said was that "people can not be blessed or delivered because of the unforgiveness they walk around with it." In a sense I needed to hear that. In the last couple weeks I been walking around mad at the world. Mad at those around me. And broke ties with a lot of people. Last week after I had my break down I was cool and stop hating myself and the world. Then she said life is to short. You dont have time to walk around trying to make people like you or trying to get anyone to be your friend. Later this week I will call and make amends with 2 people and just forget about the other person whom I could less about. Im turning all my negatives into positives and Im gone bless my future right now from this day forth. Tommorow Ill look for my apt so I can move and have a little more freedom something I surely desire.

Vacation

Well when I wrote this blog on yesterday I decided to edit today. I am on vacation but I decided not to take one of my days by coming to here work.. It was a hard decision to make this morning.. My trip that I have planned wont take place until this evening when I get off work which also may delay cause were supposed to get some snow. The most wonderful thing happened to me last night. I was at my cousins graduation and I saw this woman whom I just adored and it was like love at first site. Come to find out she is 31, sexy, educated, and a woman of many credentials and was one of my cousins instructors. I was like cuz take me over there to meet her.. I want to get to know her. She took me over there and introduced us. Im saying to myself "I can make her my wife." She was absolutely fabalous. The only bad thing about it was that she intimidated me in a sense. She is someone I need in my life, someone who is young enough to have my children and we can be financially stable while I go back to school and get my other degrees that I want. I didnt get her number or nothing cause I was too afraid to talk to her, BOO! My family was sugguesting I go back to school and become a male nurse. I was saying to myself, sure, make me part of the stereotype. I dont like blood or people for that matter. But hey for the $36 an hour I will be willing to get over those things. Been doing some more thinking about many different things.. But I will save them for another post. Now I will go back on vacation and return on Next week and like I said if I dont post its because I am on vacation out of town and dont have access to internet while there.

Just broke down

Have you ever had so much going on in your life that you just wanted an outlet? Just thought it would be over/better if you just died? Felt that no one was there to help you through it?Over the last couple weeks thats exactly how I felt... Just done, Just broke down, trapped with no escape plan. I was ready to throw in the towel.. I had a mental breakdown and was just ready to die. I have been at war for the longest with me and the world. A war that maybe I sometimes caused or other internal and external factors. My life right now is in shambles and not going exactly how I planned it to be going. I have crossed this street before and I didnt think I would ever come to it again. But it was predestined for me for my trials and tribulations were mapped out for me prior to my birth. I've totally been stripped of everything in this world that meant anything to me. I completely lost focus to the point where I did know my own name anymore. I have been walking around like a zombie. No clue as to whats going to happen next! Can it really get any worse? I hope not cause I cant take anymore. I am so broke right now that I dont know how I keep food in my stomach and gas in my car. Then the fact that I am not moving out of my aunts house made me feel even worse. I felt like my point on this earth was to live in poverty and be a no body. I had come to the point where I was totally withdrawn and unfocused on life. Yesterday I came to this point where it was time to end it. I called my mom and said "I give up" She became really upset and hysterical and wanted to know where I was. I was driving around with no place in purpose. Finally I decided it would be best for me to go church.. we were having a revival... My heart was heavy and I could feel the pain in my chest. I was blanking out and all I remember her saying was "whatever it is, it cant be that bad". I felt like a failure and I felt like everything I looked at, touched, or even thought about crumbled. I make 30k a year and I have nothing to show for it. I wanted to cry and just crash my car. But with some encouraging words from my momma Im still alive! I was so hurt when I arrived at church that I couldnt even get into the service right away. For many different emotions were running through my body all at once. I had to immediately begin to pray to have a change of heart, forgiven, for my ears to hear the word intended for me. I recieved a good word and made my way to the Alter for a little layin face down for more prayer. I felt a whole lot better. Then the Guest Pastor walked to the back where I was sitting and hugged me and told me you will never be the same again. Its feel good to have a testimony. I woke up this morning feeling better. Today I had lunch with an associate and we're working on rekindling our old friendship. I actually talked to him about some things I told him how I felt. Sometimes I just want someone to talk, so they will listen, maybe say a couple comments, not make me feel bad about my feelings, or talk mess about me behind my back. And like I said before becareful of your dealings with people... you never know who is scheming, plotting, and trying to root you as I have learned from this past weekend. This weekend I am going to go away to clear, free, relax my mind. I got 2 of 3 places already in thought. I aint got no money... but Ill do what I got to do to get away this weekend.

Just let me handle it

On Thursday I went to work in not so great of a mood. All I wanted to do was go home. But I stayed anyway to complete my work and to keep my mind off the things going on around me. I had to make some decisions regarding my future and I got some not so pleasant results but I know they were the right choices for me to make. The main decision is to get my money back for the condo. The many loops of fire I have had to jump through to get this place. It is not for me to have and I know God has something out there better for me. Later that evening I was taken to Grand Luex Cafe by Restaurant who I talked to about a lot of different things. He bought my dinner so I was happy. I took him to his barber house and we sat and talked about a whole lot while we were waiting on the barber to arrive. Come to find out he knows a lot of people I do. We’ve crossed many streets together! LOL, I went home. I’ve been praying for a change and what I needed to do to stop the blocking of my blessings. Woke up Friday with a change in mind. Arrived at work and there my tagline read “This acct will be deleted come 4pm. People tried to talk me out of doing it. Others were supportive and just wanted to maintain communication with me. They were told to contact me via Sprint PCS. The moment arrived. 4pm hit and I hit the terminate button. R.I.P. Babydreds04 and I got a confirmation email stating that the acct was non existent. Later that evening I went out to dinner with Naperville and Winthrop. Long time since I had been anywhere with either of them. It was a rather nice evening with to much going on. Which I should have kept to myself for I probably started something. After that I went to Dekalb part 1 house and then we went out to my granny house and stayed out there for hours. I went home and got in the bed. Saturday, I was a bum I didn’t do nothing but lay in bed all day and the few times I did get up I cleaned my room and performed various tasks around the house. Sunday I got up at like 6 and finished cleaning. I got ready for church and basically I stayed there all day. I encouraged Dekalb 1 to go to church with me and he did. It was a great service and he enjoyed it too. I took him back to school that evening after church. I was too tired to drive back so I stayed the night. WELL!! I came home and went to see my granny and since I was out there I went to see Starbucks…. Today I woke up in a bad mood! I was like why the hell did I have to wake up all early. I took my little time as if I didn’t have somewhere to be. But God has been working with me to improve myself. He has taught me to lean on him in all that I do. Also when I am going through something to give it to him and he will handle his battles. Confirmation today: In order to have a testimony you have to been through a test. Lord Knows I have to get forgiveness all the time for I know I have failed many tests. Now I am getting all emotional so now I will continue to stay prayerful. My blessings are on their way so I am diligently waiting for I know they are coming.

Guidelines

Effective immediately,please be aware that there are changes YOU needto make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness inthis life. I apologize for any inconvenience,but after all that I am doing, this seems verylittle to ask of you. Please,follow these 10 guidelines
1. QUIT WORRYING:Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you?Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?
2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.
3. TRUST ME: Once you've given your burdens to Me,quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list.Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.
4. LEAVE IT ALONE: Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I thinkI can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple.You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strengthand cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started?Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.
5. TALK TO ME: I want you to forget a lot of things.Forget what was making you crazy.Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's onething I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life.I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be yourdearest friend.
6. HAVE FAITH:I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me;you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you,and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you,it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?
7. SHARE:You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faithwith those who have none.
8. BE PATIENT:I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades,travel to so many places, meet thousandsof people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush. 9. BE KIND:Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences.
10. LOVE YOURSELF: As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me forone reason only -- to be loved, and to lovein return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see youso angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me.Don't ever forget......

Tech Support

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: Thank you, God.

Communication

In the last couple of weeks I have basically ceased communication with the world. It was time for me to have time to myself, regroup, think, pray, and get my life in order which seems to be falling off in one way or another.. Also, trying to achieve life goals that seem to be going no where. Ive been told I was being secretive and pushing others away. Ill admit Ive been secretive and not sharing much about my life with anyone. Most of my time is spent in church to grow! Other time is spent sitting at home praying or reading my bible. My wall of defense was built back up and now I trust no one, dont have to much to do with anyone, and basically like to be to myself cause it cuts down on a lot of confusion in my life. I know everyone has felt this way in their life before. If I keep quiet then no one can say nothing about me or say I said anything. People are cruel and like to make you feel bad about yourself. I stopped all that years ago and I am happy to be whoever I am. Some people I had to leave in 2oo5 and since 05 is over they will remain there forever. Ive been praying on some things in my life. 1.) is my unforgiven/Grudgeful heart,2.) my relationships, 3.) my finances, and 4.) my situation. While I was in bible study last night The pastor was preaching and I keep getting my Confirmation that Great things are in store for me and he said it 10 times " Its got to get better". Further confirmation. Ill admit its better but not as much as it should be. Its like this once, like I have said previously; once a person does something to me I dont forget it and it always sticks in my head. The pastor kept emphasizing this particular topic too which is "that everyone you think is you is your friend is not your friend". And for you to be careful who you allow in your circle. He taught on the Story of David in the bible and that made me think. Are my Friends the ones that want to crucify me? Well I guess I got to do like he did and love them anyway. My family has been asking me whats wrong with me but all I can tell them is nothing cause I dont know of a problem. Then I know I lost one of my dear friends... Which is because of our lack of communication. Both of us basically stopped talking to one another. He has his issues with me and I got mine with him. Now he questions whether or not we should be continue to be friends... If the friendship was real there would be no need to question it. Personally I dont want to lose him but its up to him. He needs to understand that Im on sabbatical right now... Taking care of Maurice and if certain issues had not risen then he might be there to go through with me. In all my relationships(family,friends, Significant others) I require attention and communication. Thats all I require I dont require to much of anything else. If a person shows me attention and gives me communication in return Ill show them the same. This week has been a nice week for me.. I actually got a chance to see and hear that someone out there likes me and wants to be with me. I got some people I like that I want to be with. The choice is mine! I need to analyze each situation and get to know the person. Im taking my time to get to know one person in particular and all I need is for their participation. COMMUNICATE PEOPLE IF YOU WANT TO GET ANYWHERE.. Now I can dry my tears up now.

In the season

Have you ever just been so horny that all you could think was sex? All you could talk was sex? And then to make it no better everyone around you was talking nasty. Well that has happened to me in the last couple days. All ive been doing is talking nasty and thinking about having sex with someone. I even thought well its time for me to go back to girls. Seeing as though im so indecisive I opted out of having sex with either. I been talking to my co-workers who are just as nasty or even nastier. Who would ever imagine old woman talking nasty to a young gent like me, who might I add is a pure angel. Well when I got to talking back to them they were in suspense. It seems that everyone is in their season and needs to go and get laid. Who shall be the one? Well news on the condo... they are giving me hell and im about to renig on my contract and get my money back. If it aint one thing its another but I am determined not to let it get me down. Im actually praying for it. Well first I had to come up with some more money. SURE, I have an extra 3,400 sitting around to pay for a stupid condo. Well If I had 3,400 sitting around I surely wouldnt invest in a condo. Im no baller and I aint trying to be one just yet. Then Today, they tell me I have to pay off the 3 negative things on my credit report. Ok... So i called and paid all the 3 things totaling something like 1500. Ok... Now I am really broke and like I told my grandma.. Im going to go start selling my body on the corner. LOL... she told me I was nasty as hell too cause I been "talking bad" around her. My love life is at a stand still. This question was asked to me by my Sister today, Can you have sex with your friends and still remain friends? This is a trick question and of course my answer was NO. Ive been there before... It doesnt work. Call me a hoe or whatever but Ive had with at least 50% of my friends and I know it doesnt work. Thats why I had to cut it out. Sex messes things up and they are difficult to maintain after that. They are really difficult to maintain when you have sex on more than one ocassion and maybe continue to have it. Ive seen it happen to me as well as others. My best advice is to never mess with your friends if you expect to remain friends.

GOD DID IT

Friday, I woke up and my SPRINT PCS was off. They cut your phone off for anything. You sneezed to hard.. Turn his phone off! Oh well, I aint in a rush to turn it back on. It can stay off until next month. I went to work and worked hard and needed some kind of relief when I got off. Me and my co-worker went to lunch, we were talking(ordained pastor) and I was telling her when I pay tithes, i still be broke. She said its coming. I knew cause my tithes will take of me. I came home and got in the bed. I called my mortgage to find out that I need to come up with $3400 more. I was like LORD where am I going to find that much money. I aint got that kind of money. So I was like whatever wrap it up in a week or so cause Im all packed up and ready to move. Then my little sister called me and was I had your phone turned back on. I shouted I sait thank YA(GOD/tithes)! I went to a friends house and stayed with him that evening and basically had small talk until I went to sleep. Uhm, No relief. Its all good. I got up extremely early and left and went on about my business. Saturday, a very long day. It started early and didnt end until late. I decided to call Starbucks, (whom Im going to stop being so hard on) while I getting the U Haul truck. Interesting conversation. My day started at about 9 when I got my people then we went to U-HAUL. The first place my reservation sent me was closed, I called them, they sent me to another location. I got there and they were closed too. Now I was getting heated. I called them again and told her what was going on. I was sent to another location, whom was giving me a hard time and didnt even have the truck I reserved. Just hate it. I didnt curse or scream. My mom paid for the truck so I could go on about my business(GOD/Tithes). First we moved my stuff from Public Storage to my current house. Then we went and moved my people out there house to the new house in another state. WOW! But now they're right down the street from Starbucks.. so I can kill 2 birds with one stone. LOL! I was so tired I couldnt even talk on the phone.. I went str8 to sleep on 2 people. I got up this morning after I just gave my grandma $240 that I didnt have to give thinking I am so broke I cant afford to pay attention. Thanking him anyway I went on and got up with this aching body and began to clean up and finish packing. I found some money that I put up/hid from myself. I immediately got up and starting shouting and praising him cause I been so broke for the last couple weeks that I aint been able to eat. I been eating crackers and water. LOL... Im not playing... But if you praise him the blessings will come down. Ok, now im done testifying ill go back to cleaning cause im sure its plenty of money in here cause I am always hiding money from myself. Today I begin NEW Members class.

Have you ever.................

Well in my last few days from the Blogosphere Ive been very busy. As everyone has read soon I will be moving into my own place. THANK YA! On Monday, I proceeded to do more packing. My aunt and I decided that we should have our last dinner together since I would be moving out this weekend. I actually am going to miss being here. I surely wont miss the part of not being able to have company and having to sneak them in although that was fun. But I will miss most is being able to hide my car in the garage and not let someone see me being home. I ordered my Non published phone from SBC... No bill collectors or anyone else I dont want to talk too having my phone number. Tuesday was my first day back to work, WOW. That was hard. I was tired for the most part of the day from staying up all night. I went to bed earlier than the previous night but was still tired on Wednesday. I worked all day with a headache! Couldnt wait to get home. I sent someone I am/was very interested in a nice indepth email. It outlined me, us, and a whole bunch of other things. I was crushed at the fact that I dedicated so much time to this person and it seems in the end I got the short end of the stick. The bad part about it that I actually like this person a lot. At 24, I am ready to settle down and be loved by someone other than myself. I longed so long to find another person my age that had it going on the same way I do. After it was over between me and Dekalb 1 I thought I would never fall for someone ever again. This person has so much in the long run to offer me and for me to offer him in return besides me giving him me! Why is it that all the good guys are jerks? If he didnt want to be bothered with me... or was not interested(he claims he is) why not say so or try and string me along. I left his house on Christmas Eve and did not see or talk to him for 10 days and he wants me to believe that he is interested in me. He tells me that Instant messaging me or sending me an email is still communication therefore showing interest! Uhm NO! If you are talking to someone and attempting to get to know.. there needs to be some face to face and phone to phone interaction cause you cant possibly get to know someone hiding behind a computer screen. Am I wrong? Somebody comment and let me know. Sounds to me like the ship needs to wheel in the anchor and steer away from the dock to seek other ports or be found by other Captains out in the sea. To make those matters worse, I found out I will not be moving this weekend. So next week. Today was an ok day.. I promise this week a nigga been working hard as hell. I have typed over a 1000 pages of progress notes, etc. Including the results of assessments I have completed besides the other duties as assigned. Right now I need to be assigned to the "Head Doctor". LOL!! Besides being played like a Joke today it was an alright day. I came home and crashed while attempting to read the newspaper.

In The Chamber

Over the last month I have to realize that life and death are so real. And finally faced my fear that death is a natural part of life for all. Since the day when I thought I was gone die and got diagnosed with Hypertension I have come to look at life differently and have made some changes. Upon laying on my bed of affliction I realized that all the problems that I had in 05 were not mine they were the LORD's and all he wanted me to do was give them to him and not try and work it out myself. I can go into his chamber and talk to him whenever need be. This weekend was a very spirit filled weekend for me. I was in church just about everyday this weekend. Watch night service was so special to me. Going to watch night was hard for me cause I had some things going on that weighed down heavy on my heart. But I am glad I was there cause I recieved my answers and my deliverance. I was praying hard to be freed, for a better year, to be stronger in him, among other things. I have so much to be grateful for! The spirit of LORD swarmed down on me and I shouted the demons off of me. I heard his voice talking to me and I listened for it was the things I needed to hear. Although I was not sure he confirmed it again through my friend the Dr. (who btw thinks I shouldnt assc with gay people, because she thinks their spirits jump on me make me want to play bisexual. "if you stop hanging out with people who like penis's and booty holes then you wont be inclined to like them") LOL... I sat and listened.. maybe its the truth. LOL.... I tell her everytime its something I like to do. We shall see! And he confirmed it through Pastor Patterson preaching on yesterday. When he preached it in daytime service just hearing it again tore me up inside until I cried the whole service but I just needed to accept the truth. The words stung like alcohol being poured into an open wound. Last night the same message but from another scripture.. It is so... 3 times ive heard it so nowI must live by it. For the 06, my blog will reflect current events and very little about whats going on in my life.. Ill save that for my personal hand written journal I keep. Also, for the 06, im going to mind my own business and keep it to myself. Now i'll go back to packing,calling and hiring a moving company, and cleaning this house for my big move this weekend into my house....

Reflections.... On a year ending

As 2005 came to an end I could not be more overjoyed at the fact the GOD allowed me to see another year. I gave him the highest praise I could find in my body. I sat back in church and reflected over the past year; it surely has been a year to remember and one to forget. To be honest not that great of a year. On Jan 1, 05 I got a speeding ticket going 94 in a 70, the following weekend Crashing into a pillar on I57 and right then and their I should have been dead and gone. I remember getting out the car and shouting on the side of the road. Then to get a Praise report of being HIV negative. Right up until the last minute the enemy tried to still my joy and try to make me enter in 2006 with hate and anger in my heart. I got over it. Even made me think I wanted to be in the club more than at church. I made a great choice and went to church and thats where I needed to be. I have been speaking my theme on everyone throughout the later point of this year. I have been saying that "Great Things are in store for me in 2006", and I believe it to be so. As I have been saying all the things are lining up in place for me to prosper and blossom in 2006. To think next weekend I will be in my own home... a home that I own. ****PRAISES***** Thank Ya!!!!!! GLORAY!!! Calming down.... This evening something absolutely blew my mind. Dekalb pt1 told me I LOVE YOU! WOW... The first time it didnt set in and when he said it the 2nd time I didnt know what to do. All I could do was lay there in suspense. I then went to church and the service was a good service. He preached on GREAT THINGS BEING IN STORE FOR US. That did something to my spirit for thats the word I been speaking upon myself. Forecast... Rain... Rained on blessings, Finances, and healing in my mind in 3 months. The LORD knows I need that. I entered this year steadfast in the LORD praising and possibly shouting... But I know I felt his presence. Then he spoke those Prophetic words... Trials and tribulations... They are placed their for you to grow stronger and for you to know him personally. "Struggle builds character, and pain builds trust" I agree and thats why i am who I am today. With saying that.. Im tired at 4am... If I have more to say ill make an ammendum to this entry later today. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY FELLOW BLOGGERS and my readers.

It shall....

It shall be well with you this year. No matter how much your enemies try this year, they will not succeed. You have been destined to make it and you shall surely achieve all your goals this year. For the remaining months of the year, your problems will enter Call blocking, your enemies will have network problems and their bad wishes for you will enter into voicemail and you will only get them as missed calls. All your agonies will be diverted and victory and prosperity will be your incoming calls! Heavens have confirmed today the end of your sufferings sorrows and pains because HE that sits on the throne has remembered you. He has taken away the hardships and given you JOY. He will never let you down. I knocked at heavens door this morning, God asked me... My child! what can I do for you? And I said, Father, please protect and bless the person reading this message... God smiled and answered...
Have a Blessed Day, in Jesus name!!